Holy Hustle snippet

[wadori]

In the beginning god created the heavens and the earth. Some have claimed this was the beginning of his downfall.

And the earth was a big, round lump of rock. And god said, "That’s a rather drab piece of rock. Let’s jazz it up a bit!" And so god scooped out huge ocean basins and heaved up large mountains. And god said, "That’s better. Now let’s get things moving a bit." So god heated up the inside of the earth until it was molten and carved up the surface into individual plates and set them in motion crashing into each other so as to produce earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes and other natural disasters. "Now, when I create living beings all I have to do is move the plates around a little bit, and I can cause them all sorts of grief and havoc." And god laughed and said, "Oh, it’s wonderfully devious." And the evening and the morning were the first day.

 

from my book, "Holy Hustle: A Bible Parody", available at Amazon.

[alreadyGone]

Supposedly, a man named Moses related it all just as god told him.

He wrote it all down as god dictated it.

 

Using which written language?

The earliest written languages appeared only about 4500 years ago.

Cuneiform, etched with a stick into clay tablets.

 

Sure, using a written format about equal to cave-paintings he described the glory of god shaping the world, the adventures of Adam and Eve, the flood, and Noah's ark.

Etching little hieroglyphs on dried mud with a sharp stick..

Duh..