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Goodbye Jesus

Holy Hustle sippet #2


wadori

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And god woke early the next day and said, "I am refreshed.  Now we can liven things up and create some animals."  And so god created every beast of the field and bird in the sky and fish in the sea.  Then god said, "Let’s have some big stuff!"  And so god created huge land lizards as big as bulldozers and big flying lizards that could pick up a goat and great swimming lizards to fill the seas.  And the land lizards he called "dinosaurs", and the flying lizards he called "pterosaurs", and the swimming lizards he called "plesiosaurs".  And god said, "That will keep my people busy dodging those damned beasts!"  And he let out a huge, evil laugh.  But god saw that the giant creatures would not cause enough pain and agony to satisfy him, so he created microorganisms, such as bacteria and viruses, that would cause disease and sickness.  And god saw that it was ever more devious and wonderful, and the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

 

From my book “Holy Hustle: A Bible Parody”

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