Aibao Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 Welcome! To begin with, I would like to express my sympathy to everyone who has gone through the tragedy of the Christian faith. Whether you were a physically and mentally hurt woman, man or child, if I could be around, I'd like to hug everyone. Actually, I'm new here, sorry in advance for my English (I'm learning this language, but still use the dictionary / online translator). Thank you all for being here and for creating this site - I think all of you are contributors to this site. I've read a lot of stories, a lot of touching to tears, a lot of encouraging courage, and yet I come here with nagging questions ... I'd like to make a few posts (because there are so many questions) if I can. I won't be telling my own religious story right now, nor is it so traumatic and I don't think so much worth telling (at least for now), but there is something that is bothering me. After my deconversion, my mother (as she believes she is an unbeliever in biblical God, but believes in some source of energy / absolut now, then she believed in Jesus, but did not know the Bible well) began to convince me of demon possession. She sent me articles about devils, demons. I wasn't willing, but eventually I started to get scared. I thought, I don't believe it anymore, I will read it. But the more I delved, the more I started to learn about Christianity things that terrified me (I was in a Pentecostal church, I read the Bible 3 times in a row, I completed a Bible course - I don't want to brag because it's nothing, but I want you to be less you knew more about the "sect" I was in), and it turned out that I didn't know much! Being an agnostic (after the deconversion stage), I learned more about dogmas and the Bible than when I was a Christian. I was jumping from confession to confession on the Internet, looking for true information, because the trigger was demons and hell. I thought that since there is a struggle here for such a big cause as eternal happiness or eternal torture, I really wanted to analyze everything thoroughly. I started reading books, articles, watching videos (because which faith is true? You have to find it! And is Christianity even true? The fear of hell spoke for itself), until I was almost obsessed ... but I will get to the point in finally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tifky5SvHaI is it really a sign from God, since I actually ignored other such videos and suddenly such a video appeared to me? how to understand? https://www.ex-christian.net/topic/81219-dna-discovery-reveals-all-humans-descended-from-an-adam-and-eve-after-cataclysm/?tab=comments#comment-1198622 how do you know these sites are unreliable? what if it's true how to understand all this? What do you think about it?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEQveyEPS-o If God was only love, the world would love Him back. But because He is also the judge of good and evil, has pronounced us sinners and has the authority to forgive or condemn, most of the world rejects Him. “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. "Matthew 7: 13-14 What about that? If I don't want to watch these videos, another video comes up with the title that God is mad at me ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDQgsdGaFdchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sBtG4_frRY or that he has some sign ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OmCel_b3cs or that I have to regret my sinshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnSYa19u2MU or that God loves me, but will not force me to love, will wait, but I cannot convince myself to Christianity ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5X0Gj6SfOI or that eternal life is more important than this life in comfort (I was just thinking about improving my life, about a comfortable life actually ...)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOQscruQP-Y or that the day of judgment awaits, that just because I reject Jesus doesn't mean he doesn't existhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14yjsx7qWXU Some of the things in question suit me, so I am all the more terrified that the biblical God (God with hell, heaven and damnation, guilt, sin, and so on) can really exist ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9NnU5Iwe2U Here, for example, yes, I have financial problems, but rather caused by my family: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJtO-MzEzrg The best part is that when things fall into place, they can remind me of those things in the videos, e.g. I will be blessed financially, and in fact - after a few days I got the money, so .... God did it ...? coincidence? case? ...I'm confused, It also fits here: I don't have a "real" job, I make some extra money, here's a tip not to worry about the future:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmd8aIvtFdI there are also words of encouragement https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skj2USfKy64 and that there are no coincidences or happiness, everything is by the grace of God: How to understand the message of this video about a visa to my dream country, I've finally managed to get a passport recently!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5ITLAL2STs And here - in fact, I have been having sleepless nights lately, but it also talks about karma and unconditional, as if universalistic love, with which many Christians are unlikely to agreehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5PLtb_5OAA Can such videos be treated as a message from God? On the other hand, the other way around has happened to me. I mean, I had a problem with some biblical message and suddenly a video popped up or I happened to find it somehow that refuted that claim. Then believers would consider it an attack from Satan, right? Or ... I didn't want to accept Jesus, it was God who made me confused and let Satan deceive me ... How did you find yourself in all of this? How to explain it? Because if it is as I wrote above, does it not prove the biblical claims? If so, the great cosmic game of sin, hell, heaven and your personal choices can be a terrifying truth ... Even recently I started to be afraid of Japanese ghosts, although I never believed it ... someone recorded a video that he saw a ghost and that he caught a ghost on the camera because things are falling so suddenly at home ... how to explain? Except it's a fake or a photomontage. Here is an example:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j03phf05BSE I had different thoughts that I did not understand the grace and sometimes I felt as if I was flooded with love from God and I should have come back ... but I cannot come back, I have prayed several times for salvation and conversion ... but I cannot bring myself to bear ... What do you think about it? Warning?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAd9lWbw8cw How to explain it? On the healthy eating channel that I subscribe to, suddenly a Christian appeared in the comments explaining that the Catholic Church was deceived, etc. What about it? Why is there such a thing under the healthy eating video? Is it God, a sign from God? Is it possible that this is pure coincidence? I visited his channel, and there is an apocalyptic video: I'm afraid that if I do not listen to the advice from these videos, that God speaks to me through these videos, although one of them said that there is no hell (maybe not in the ones I gave them, but I saw one), and most Christians after all I do not agree that there is no hell, or that if something good happens to me, it is a sign from God, and I do not thank and I do not return to God, it is so difficult for me ... the movies do not hide some mechanism, some self-fulfilling prophecy? Some kind of psychological trick? What if not? I started to pray for a sign whether God exists or not - let him give me a sign, a proof, let him move me and make me believe. So another video about faith appeared (I will not paste anymore, enough, too much, and sorry ...), where it says that faith is important, I do not know if I should take it as a response from God to my prayer for evidence? I would not like Christianity to be true, but if it is, I want to know clearly and with certainty, without any doubts - that's why I am writing with a request, have you had similar situations? How do you explain the prayers you have fulfilled now, after deviating from faith, from Christianity, how to explain it with these videos, coincidence? some subconscious power or something? Yes, I am as naive as a child - but I know you understand how much I worry and care about all of this. Why does Christianity make me so fearful? What's wrong with me? Does this mean that I love sin and do not want the truth, so the Holy Spirit is drawing me to God through, for example, such videos? Or that, as Bibila says, God sent an illusion on me so that I would not be able to believe (in the case when I lean more and more towards atheism and search for interesting atheistic texts / films that delight me immensely, while Christian films cause fear and anxiety, guilt)? Sometimes it happens that I accidentally (?) Pop up an atheistic movie about my religious problem. Believers could then say that it is Satan who sends me such videos or that God gives me an illusion and I'm going to hell because I don't want to believe anyway? Many Christians are deviating from their faith, as mentioned in the Bible, does this mean that the Bible is right? Honestly, the Christian concept scares me, and if there is a God who made Hell then yes, I wish He didn't exist. However, I still want to find out the truth. But how can you find the truth when something can be either from God or from Satan? I got so lost ... so much I don't know what to do ... and I'm completely alone in all of this ... I apologize for such a long post, at most the moderator will remove it if I have violated any law here, but at the same time please answer one issue or link to the post..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 You appear confused, in the sense that you want to process too many thoughts, ideas, external influences and emotions all at the same time. Perhaps that is appropriate. Perhaps not. Global thinking and feeling can be helpful, except when it isn't. Patience is a useful tool. It can be applied (to what at least appears to me) your need to determine everything now and in an instant. Linear thinking is also a useful tool. It allows me to list things in a sequence, to separate things and to prioritize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alreadyGone Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 Regarding dreams and the common belief that God speaks to people in dreams... Why would a God do this? Given that we all dream, and everyone knows that the human mind can create the most improbable extreme fantasies while dreaming, why would a perfect, all-powerful loving God attempt to impart knowledge or awareness to us while asleep? Would he not realize that we would waken and not have any way to know for certain that what we experienced in a dream was anything other than that, a dream? If he truly cares about us and wanted us to know, to be aware of what he deems important, why would he not just come out and tell us, clearly and without space for ambiguity or doubt while we were awake and alert? Christians believe that god cannot appear to us because the power of his presence would be overwhelming.. OK, fine, then send an angel or some other messenger, but do it while we are awake and aware of what is happening. Personally I dream a lot of wild, bizarre things. I have always done so, since I was a small child. I've never believed that any of it was anything more than some strange innate mechanism of the human mind to process our own personal thoughts and awareness while asleep. If you come to me and tell me that God spoke to you in a dream then my first thought is going to be that perhaps you should not have four slices of pizza late at night just before going to bed. No way can I take such a thing seriously. To attempt to inform or teach a human being by manipulating their mind as they sleep just seems like one of those things that only a clever scheming god would do for his own amusement just to see what will happen and laugh at silly humans. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 Hi Aibao, Your mother and her church conditioned you to think that these fears were real and important for survival, and that makes it difficult to disregard them. Fear is the main tool of religion. Fear lets them control you, and gets you to control yourself according to their rules and their fake reality. Now you struggle with the fake ideas that they put into your mind. Fears are best faced directly. There really are no gods or demons, no Satan, no invisible monsters. Nature is harsh, and primitive people try to explain that by having invisible people in control of nature. But there is nobody in control. Instead, we have our own minds and choices. All of the fears you were given as a child are fears of things that are not real. Dreams good or bad are not real, but the emotions on their own cannot tell the difference. But we live in reality when we awaken. Every day has things that are good and things that are not good. That is just life. Sometimes people are attacked by other people, or animals, or just disease. Other times people thrive and do very well in life and find happiness. Usually there is a mixture of both. In nature, eating other animals is completely normal. But it is awful to be food. Humans have the choice always to be kind or to not be kind. Kindness makes a big difference for good in the world. But the power for both is in your own choice, not in some invisible beings having a war that is also invisible. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted November 23, 2021 Super Moderator Share Posted November 23, 2021 First of all, stay off of YouTube. Secondly, sit in the chair, have a cup of tea, and calm down. Thirdly, if you don't believe in christianity, then accept that you don't. The process of moving on begins with the acceptance of where you are. Because that is where you have to start if you are going to go anywhere. Lastly, get comfortable enough with not knowing that you no longer feel like you need to know. It's not necessary for you to have all of the answers; it's not even necessary for all of the answers you do have to be the right ones. But if seeking the answers simply creates more questions and confusion, then they are not worth having. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 "is it really a sign from God, since I actually ignored other such videos .." Why would God communicate in such a way that you cannot be sure he really communicated at all? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted November 23, 2021 Share Posted November 23, 2021 "Why does Christianity make me so fearful? " Fear is one of Christianity's design attributes. Fear keeps people in the religion. The more you continue to expose yourself to it, the more you will be afraid to leave it. The less time you give to thinking about Christianity, the less fear you will feel. Put yourself in the driver seat of your life. Dont let Youtube tell you how to live. Dont let your mom tell you that you have demons. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Joshpantera Posted November 24, 2021 Moderator Share Posted November 24, 2021 On 11/22/2021 at 7:41 PM, Aibao said: I started to pray for a sign whether God exists or not - let him give me a sign, a proof, let him move me and make me believe. So another video about faith appeared (I will not paste anymore, enough, too much, and sorry ...), where it says that faith is important, I do not know if I should take it as a response from God to my prayer for evidence? I would not like Christianity to be true, but if it is, I want to know clearly and with certainty, without any doubts - that's why I am writing with a request, have you had similar situations? How do you explain the prayers you have fulfilled now, after deviating from faith, from Christianity, how to explain it with these videos, coincidence? some subconscious power or something? It's been labeled "Synchronicity" in certain psychological circles. I finished this book about it recently: https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B07J1YKKP3&tag=bing08-20&linkCode=kpp&reshareId=3YSC2PMH6YJXK1B4AS6A&reshareChannel=system This is a book review pod cast about it: Dr. Kirby Surprise - The Science Behind Synchronicity (futurethinkers.org) And this is exactly what you are describing. You are wanting this or that to appear within your own mind, then things at least seem to appear in like fashion. You think that proves god, but it doesn't. And this alternative explanation explains in detail what the more likely scenario may be. It's very much to do with the sub conscious mind. And if you're serious about wanting more answers, read the book or listen to it on audible. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pantheory Posted November 24, 2021 Share Posted November 24, 2021 On 11/22/2021 at 4:41 PM, Aibao said: Welcome! To begin with, I would like to express my sympathy to everyone who has gone through the tragedy of the Christian faith. Whether you were a physically and mentally hurt woman, man or child, if I could be around, I'd like to hug everyone. Actually, I'm new here, sorry in advance for my English (I'm learning this language, but still use the dictionary / online translator). Thank you all for being here and for creating this site - I think all of you are contributors to this site. I've read a lot of stories, a lot of touching to tears, a lot of encouraging courage, and yet I come here with nagging questions ... I'd like to make a few posts (because there are so many questions) if I can. I won't be telling my own religious story right now, nor is it so traumatic and I don't think so much worth telling (at least for now), but there is something that is bothering me. After my deconversion, my mother (as she believes she is an unbeliever in biblical God, but believes in some source of energy / absolut now, then she believed in Jesus, but did not know the Bible well) began to convince me of demon possession. She sent me articles about devils, demons. I wasn't willing, but eventually I started to get scared. I thought, I don't believe it anymore, I will read it. But the more I delved, the more I started to learn about Christianity things that terrified me (I was in a Pentecostal church, I read the Bible 3 times in a row, I completed a Bible course - I don't want to brag because it's nothing, but I want you to be less you knew more about the "sect" I was in), and it turned out that I didn't know much! Being an agnostic (after the deconversion stage), I learned more about dogmas and the Bible than when I was a Christian. I was jumping from confession to confession on the Internet, looking for true information, because the trigger was demons and hell. I thought that since there is a struggle here for such a big cause as eternal happiness or eternal torture, I really wanted to analyze everything thoroughly. I started reading books, articles, watching videos (because which faith is true? You have to find it! And is Christianity even true? The fear of hell spoke for itself), until I was almost obsessed ... but I will get to the point in finally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tifky5SvHaI is it really a sign from God, since I actually ignored other such videos and suddenly such a video appeared to me? how to understand? https://www.ex-christian.net/topic/81219-dna-discovery-reveals-all-humans-descended-from-an-adam-and-eve-after-cataclysm/?tab=comments#comment-1198622 how do you know these sites are unreliable? what if it's true how to understand all this? What do you think about it?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEQveyEPS-o If God was only love, the world would love Him back. But because He is also the judge of good and evil, has pronounced us sinners and has the authority to forgive or condemn, most of the world rejects Him. “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. "Matthew 7: 13-14 What about that? If I don't want to watch these videos, another video comes up with the title that God is mad at me ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDQgsdGaFdchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sBtG4_frRY or that he has some sign ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OmCel_b3cs or that I have to regret my sinshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnSYa19u2MU or that God loves me, but will not force me to love, will wait, but I cannot convince myself to Christianity ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5X0Gj6SfOI or that eternal life is more important than this life in comfort (I was just thinking about improving my life, about a comfortable life actually ...)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOQscruQP-Y or that the day of judgment awaits, that just because I reject Jesus doesn't mean he doesn't existhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14yjsx7qWXU Some of the things in question suit me, so I am all the more terrified that the biblical God (God with hell, heaven and damnation, guilt, sin, and so on) can really exist ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9NnU5Iwe2U Here, for example, yes, I have financial problems, but rather caused by my family: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJtO-MzEzrg The best part is that when things fall into place, they can remind me of those things in the videos, e.g. I will be blessed financially, and in fact - after a few days I got the money, so .... God did it ...? coincidence? case? ...I'm confused, It also fits here: I don't have a "real" job, I make some extra money, here's a tip not to worry about the future:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmd8aIvtFdI there are also words of encouragement https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skj2USfKy64 and that there are no coincidences or happiness, everything is by the grace of God: How to understand the message of this video about a visa to my dream country, I've finally managed to get a passport recently!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5ITLAL2STs And here - in fact, I have been having sleepless nights lately, but it also talks about karma and unconditional, as if universalistic love, with which many Christians are unlikely to agreehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5PLtb_5OAA Can such videos be treated as a message from God? On the other hand, the other way around has happened to me. I mean, I had a problem with some biblical message and suddenly a video popped up or I happened to find it somehow that refuted that claim. Then believers would consider it an attack from Satan, right? Or ... I didn't want to accept Jesus, it was God who made me confused and let Satan deceive me ... How did you find yourself in all of this? How to explain it? Because if it is as I wrote above, does it not prove the biblical claims? If so, the great cosmic game of sin, hell, heaven and your personal choices can be a terrifying truth ... Even recently I started to be afraid of Japanese ghosts, although I never believed it ... someone recorded a video that he saw a ghost and that he caught a ghost on the camera because things are falling so suddenly at home ... how to explain? Except it's a fake or a photomontage. Here is an example:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j03phf05BSE I had different thoughts that I did not understand the grace and sometimes I felt as if I was flooded with love from God and I should have come back ... but I cannot come back, I have prayed several times for salvation and conversion ... but I cannot bring myself to bear ... What do you think about it? Warning?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAd9lWbw8cw How to explain it? On the healthy eating channel that I subscribe to, suddenly a Christian appeared in the comments explaining that the Catholic Church was deceived, etc. What about it? Why is there such a thing under the healthy eating video? Is it God, a sign from God? Is it possible that this is pure coincidence? I visited his channel, and there is an apocalyptic video: I'm afraid that if I do not listen to the advice from these videos, that God speaks to me through these videos, although one of them said that there is no hell (maybe not in the ones I gave them, but I saw one), and most Christians after all I do not agree that there is no hell, or that if something good happens to me, it is a sign from God, and I do not thank and I do not return to God, it is so difficult for me ... the movies do not hide some mechanism, some self-fulfilling prophecy? Some kind of psychological trick? What if not? I started to pray for a sign whether God exists or not - let him give me a sign, a proof, let him move me and make me believe. So another video about faith appeared (I will not paste anymore, enough, too much, and sorry ...), where it says that faith is important, I do not know if I should take it as a response from God to my prayer for evidence? I would not like Christianity to be true, but if it is, I want to know clearly and with certainty, without any doubts - that's why I am writing with a request, have you had similar situations? How do you explain the prayers you have fulfilled now, after deviating from faith, from Christianity, how to explain it with these videos, coincidence? some subconscious power or something? Yes, I am as naive as a child - but I know you understand how much I worry and care about all of this. Why does Christianity make me so fearful? What's wrong with me? Does this mean that I love sin and do not want the truth, so the Holy Spirit is drawing me to God through, for example, such videos? Or that, as Bibila says, God sent an illusion on me so that I would not be able to believe (in the case when I lean more and more towards atheism and search for interesting atheistic texts / films that delight me immensely, while Christian films cause fear and anxiety, guilt)? Sometimes it happens that I accidentally (?) Pop up an atheistic movie about my religious problem. Believers could then say that it is Satan who sends me such videos or that God gives me an illusion and I'm going to hell because I don't want to believe anyway? Many Christians are deviating from their faith, as mentioned in the Bible, does this mean that the Bible is right? Honestly, the Christian concept scares me, and if there is a God who made Hell then yes, I wish He didn't exist. However, I still want to find out the truth. But how can you find the truth when something can be either from God or from Satan? I got so lost ... so much I don't know what to do ... and I'm completely alone in all of this ... I apologize for such a long post, at most the moderator will remove it if I have violated any law here, but at the same time please answer one issue or link to the post..... First posting. WOW. Welcome to X-Christ Albao. Hope you stay and expect you will like it here. I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lost Posted November 25, 2021 Share Posted November 25, 2021 On 11/23/2021 at 1:41 AM, Aibao said: Welcome! To begin with, I would like to express my sympathy to everyone who has gone through the tragedy of the Christian faith. Whether you were a physically and mentally hurt woman, man or child, if I could be around, I'd like to hug everyone. Actually, I'm new here, sorry in advance for my English (I'm learning this language, but still use the dictionary / online translator). Thank you all for being here and for creating this site - I think all of you are contributors to this site. I've read a lot of stories, a lot of touching to tears, a lot of encouraging courage, and yet I come here with nagging questions ... I'd like to make a few posts (because there are so many questions) if I can. I won't be telling my own religious story right now, nor is it so traumatic and I don't think so much worth telling (at least for now), but there is something that is bothering me. After my deconversion, my mother (as she believes she is an unbeliever in biblical God, but believes in some source of energy / absolut now, then she believed in Jesus, but did not know the Bible well) began to convince me of demon possession. She sent me articles about devils, demons. I wasn't willing, but eventually I started to get scared. I thought, I don't believe it anymore, I will read it. But the more I delved, the more I started to learn about Christianity things that terrified me (I was in a Pentecostal church, I read the Bible 3 times in a row, I completed a Bible course - I don't want to brag because it's nothing, but I want you to be less you knew more about the "sect" I was in), and it turned out that I didn't know much! Being an agnostic (after the deconversion stage), I learned more about dogmas and the Bible than when I was a Christian. I was jumping from confession to confession on the Internet, looking for true information, because the trigger was demons and hell. I thought that since there is a struggle here for such a big cause as eternal happiness or eternal torture, I really wanted to analyze everything thoroughly. I started reading books, articles, watching videos (because which faith is true? You have to find it! And is Christianity even true? The fear of hell spoke for itself), until I was almost obsessed ... but I will get to the point in finally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tifky5SvHaI is it really a sign from God, since I actually ignored other such videos and suddenly such a video appeared to me? how to understand? https://www.ex-christian.net/topic/81219-dna-discovery-reveals-all-humans-descended-from-an-adam-and-eve-after-cataclysm/?tab=comments#comment-1198622 how do you know these sites are unreliable? what if it's true how to understand all this? What do you think about it?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEQveyEPS-o If God was only love, the world would love Him back. But because He is also the judge of good and evil, has pronounced us sinners and has the authority to forgive or condemn, most of the world rejects Him. “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. "Matthew 7: 13-14 What about that? If I don't want to watch these videos, another video comes up with the title that God is mad at me ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDQgsdGaFdchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sBtG4_frRY or that he has some sign ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OmCel_b3cs or that I have to regret my sinshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnSYa19u2MU or that God loves me, but will not force me to love, will wait, but I cannot convince myself to Christianity ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5X0Gj6SfOI or that eternal life is more important than this life in comfort (I was just thinking about improving my life, about a comfortable life actually ...)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOQscruQP-Y or that the day of judgment awaits, that just because I reject Jesus doesn't mean he doesn't existhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14yjsx7qWXU Some of the things in question suit me, so I am all the more terrified that the biblical God (God with hell, heaven and damnation, guilt, sin, and so on) can really exist ...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9NnU5Iwe2U Here, for example, yes, I have financial problems, but rather caused by my family: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJtO-MzEzrg The best part is that when things fall into place, they can remind me of those things in the videos, e.g. I will be blessed financially, and in fact - after a few days I got the money, so .... God did it ...? coincidence? case? ...I'm confused, It also fits here: I don't have a "real" job, I make some extra money, here's a tip not to worry about the future:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmd8aIvtFdI there are also words of encouragement https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skj2USfKy64 and that there are no coincidences or happiness, everything is by the grace of God: How to understand the message of this video about a visa to my dream country, I've finally managed to get a passport recently!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5ITLAL2STs And here - in fact, I have been having sleepless nights lately, but it also talks about karma and unconditional, as if universalistic love, with which many Christians are unlikely to agreehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5PLtb_5OAA Can such videos be treated as a message from God? On the other hand, the other way around has happened to me. I mean, I had a problem with some biblical message and suddenly a video popped up or I happened to find it somehow that refuted that claim. Then believers would consider it an attack from Satan, right? Or ... I didn't want to accept Jesus, it was God who made me confused and let Satan deceive me ... How did you find yourself in all of this? How to explain it? Because if it is as I wrote above, does it not prove the biblical claims? If so, the great cosmic game of sin, hell, heaven and your personal choices can be a terrifying truth ... Even recently I started to be afraid of Japanese ghosts, although I never believed it ... someone recorded a video that he saw a ghost and that he caught a ghost on the camera because things are falling so suddenly at home ... how to explain? Except it's a fake or a photomontage. Here is an example:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j03phf05BSE I had different thoughts that I did not understand the grace and sometimes I felt as if I was flooded with love from God and I should have come back ... but I cannot come back, I have prayed several times for salvation and conversion ... but I cannot bring myself to bear ... What do you think about it? Warning?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAd9lWbw8cw How to explain it? On the healthy eating channel that I subscribe to, suddenly a Christian appeared in the comments explaining that the Catholic Church was deceived, etc. What about it? Why is there such a thing under the healthy eating video? Is it God, a sign from God? Is it possible that this is pure coincidence? I visited his channel, and there is an apocalyptic video: I'm afraid that if I do not listen to the advice from these videos, that God speaks to me through these videos, although one of them said that there is no hell (maybe not in the ones I gave them, but I saw one), and most Christians after all I do not agree that there is no hell, or that if something good happens to me, it is a sign from God, and I do not thank and I do not return to God, it is so difficult for me ... the movies do not hide some mechanism, some self-fulfilling prophecy? Some kind of psychological trick? What if not? I started to pray for a sign whether God exists or not - let him give me a sign, a proof, let him move me and make me believe. So another video about faith appeared (I will not paste anymore, enough, too much, and sorry ...), where it says that faith is important, I do not know if I should take it as a response from God to my prayer for evidence? I would not like Christianity to be true, but if it is, I want to know clearly and with certainty, without any doubts - that's why I am writing with a request, have you had similar situations? How do you explain the prayers you have fulfilled now, after deviating from faith, from Christianity, how to explain it with these videos, coincidence? some subconscious power or something? Yes, I am as naive as a child - but I know you understand how much I worry and care about all of this. Why does Christianity make me so fearful? What's wrong with me? Does this mean that I love sin and do not want the truth, so the Holy Spirit is drawing me to God through, for example, such videos? Or that, as Bibila says, God sent an illusion on me so that I would not be able to believe (in the case when I lean more and more towards atheism and search for interesting atheistic texts / films that delight me immensely, while Christian films cause fear and anxiety, guilt)? Sometimes it happens that I accidentally (?) Pop up an atheistic movie about my religious problem. Believers could then say that it is Satan who sends me such videos or that God gives me an illusion and I'm going to hell because I don't want to believe anyway? Many Christians are deviating from their faith, as mentioned in the Bible, does this mean that the Bible is right? Honestly, the Christian concept scares me, and if there is a God who made Hell then yes, I wish He didn't exist. However, I still want to find out the truth. But how can you find the truth when something can be either from God or from Satan? I got so lost ... so much I don't know what to do ... and I'm completely alone in all of this ... I apologize for such a long post, at most the moderator will remove it if I have violated any law here, but at the same time please answer one issue or link to the post..... Hey Aibao What a suprise, I AM also from POLAND. World is small, I thought I am going to be the only one Polish Woman on American Ex-christian Forum There is no doubt, in our country Catholic Church rules and tradition is very important to people. I am 28 years old now and till 2010 I was a member of Catholic Church and from 2011 till 2018 I was a member of Evangelical Church. For me personally losing FAITH was simply traumatic and ruined my identity. My spiritual moral values were very important for me and I thought that they will help me build my life. I try to focus on being nice and good for others, especially that I am a nurse, but inside I suffer a lot, because of troubles in life and lack of inner stability. I wish there was help in POLAND for people who are Ex- Belivers and therapists who specialize in religious trauma. Maybe there are some and I don't know about it. I Hope that You will find Your way to satisfying LIFE. Here on Ex-Christian forum there is a lot of good members, who will help You understand more. Wish You all the BEST on Your journey Aibao 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aibao Posted November 29, 2021 Author Share Posted November 29, 2021 Wow, thank you everyone for these answers! This is very helpful to me. Quote What a suprise, I AM also from POLAND. World is small, I thought I am going to be the only one Polish Woman on American Ex-christian Forum I also did not think that I would meet someone from my country here. In Poland, I haven't seen any therapeutic help for people wounded by religion, that's why I'm here - and I'm glad to meet you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aibao Posted November 29, 2021 Author Share Posted November 29, 2021 Quote It's been labeled "Synchronicity" in certain psychological circles. I finished this book about it recently: thank you very much for the link to the book, I didn't know anything about synchronicity, interesting, that explains a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aibao Posted November 29, 2021 Author Share Posted November 29, 2021 sorry, in the quotes I pasted you can't see who wrote it .... aaah .... this is it, for the first time on any forum, I hope you'll forgive me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ Weezer ◊ Posted December 2, 2021 Share Posted December 2, 2021 On 11/29/2021 at 5:18 PM, Aibao said: sorry, in the quotes I pasted you can't see who wrote it .... aaah .... this is it, for the first time on any forum, I hope you'll forgive me No problem. WELCOME! Religion, and the internet can both be very confusing things. But trying to sort out religions can be especially confusing. I wrestled with the concepts for over 30 years, And then did a study of the history of religions which led to a decision that ALL RELIGIONS are simply human made myths, or philosophies. The book, A LITTLE HISTORY OF RELIGION, by Richard Holloway is an easy to read, concise book that makes it simple to understand. BEST WISHES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aibao Posted December 5, 2021 Author Share Posted December 5, 2021 Thank you, Weezer! I'm just looking for this book, I'm going to buy and read it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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