Canadian Agnostic

[Canadian_Agnostic]

Hello Everyone:

I've been peeking at this site for years and I finally took the plunge and joined today.

Here's a few things about my religious background:

I was born to a Muslim father and Christian mother. My mother converted to Islam when I was 10.

After many personal doubts and unsatisfactory answers from relatives and religious teachers, I became an agnostic in my early teens.
For many years I read many books articles and viewed various documentaries on different religions. But I still remained an agnostic.
In the 2010's I was going through a challenging time. At that time I ran into a pastor who lived my town and I befriended him.
Even through I had many qualms about certain aspects about Christian theology, I became a Christian in 2017.
I went through a Bible study with the local pastor for several months before entering his church in 2018. 
Not long after entering the church, the pastor's controlling behaviour began.

I ended up distancing myself from him and then the pandemic came. What made me livid, was that many Christians I knew believed that the corona virus was sign that Jesus would return soon....and they were excited about this. This felt wrong on so many levels and I decided then that it was time to reconsider my conversion to Christianity
I searched online for sites and articles about Christian deconversion/deconstruction and have now returned to being an agnostic.
 

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

6 minutes ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

I was born to a Muslim father and Christian mother. My mother converted to Islam when I was 10.

After many personal doubts and unsatisfactory answers from relatives and religious teachers, I became an agnostic in my early teens.

Welcome to our forum Canadian_Agnostic! That's an unusual background. Were you not brought to church or an Islamic temple as a child? Most of us here were heavily indoctrinated by our families. 

 

[Canadian_Agnostic]

14 minutes ago, moxieflux66 said:

Welcome to our forum Canadian_Agnostic! That's an unusual background. Were you not brought to church or an Islamic temple as a child? Most of us here were heavily indoctrinated by our families. 

 

As kid my father took me to a local mosque every Friday and I had to attend Islamic classics.
I celebrated Christmas and Easter with maternal grandparents.

[TABA]

Hello @Canadian_Agnostic and welcome to our community!  I created a new topic from your post.   Best that each new member have their own Introductions topic.  

[Casualfanboy16]

Heyyy @Canadian_Agnostic! Welcome to the forum! You're background is interesting to me. How was it like being indoctrinated with two different religions? What was it like being exposed to two alternate doctrines? I know virtually nothing about Islam, so what does that religion have that Christianity doesn't? What are the similarities/differences?

 

Also, if you don't mind me asking, your Mom converted from Christianity to Islam? What caused that?

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

8 hours ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

As kid my father took me to a local mosque every Friday and I had to attend Islamic classics.
I celebrated Christmas and Easter with maternal grandparents.

Did you go to church for Christmas and Easter? Is that most of the Christian upbringing you got? We got......................Sunday School..

 

9 hours ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

Not long after entering the church, the pastor's controlling behaviour began.

 

What did that involve? 

9 hours ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

I ended up distancing myself from him and then the pandemic came. What made me livid, was that many Christians I knew believed that the corona virus was sign that Jesus would return soon....and they were excited about this. This felt wrong on so many levels and I decided then that it was time to reconsider my conversion to Christianity

It IS wrong on many levels! They want to bring about destruction and the End. How is that loving, creative, etc.,etc.,etc.? 

[Canadian_Agnostic]

15 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Heyyy @Canadian_Agnostic! Welcome to the forum! You're background is interesting to me. How was it like being indoctrinated with two different religions? What was it like being exposed to two alternate doctrines? I know virtually nothing about Islam, so what does that religion have that Christianity doesn't? What are the similarities/differences?

 

Also, if you don't mind me asking, your Mom converted from Christianity to Islam? What caused that?

It may have been due to the influence of relatives and family friends. But I suspect pressure from my father was also a contributing factor.

[Canadian_Agnostic]

9 hours ago, moxieflux66 said:

Did you go to church for Christmas and Easter? Is that most of the Christian upbringing you got? We got......................Sunday School..

 

 

What did that involve? 

It IS wrong on many levels! They want to bring about destruction and the End. How is that loving, creative, etc.,etc.,etc.? 

I would celebrate Christmas and Easter at my grandparents house in the U.S. They preferred to celebrate at home with family and friends.
 

The pastor didn't like the fact that my girlfriend at the time wasn't a Christian. He insisted that I break up with her. He would frequently meet me at work during lunch breaks and read Bible verses about being "unequally yoked" and what could happen to me for being disobedient to God's commands.
The worst was when I missed church one Sunday to visit my mother's grave with my sister who was moving towards her end-of-life phase. A few days after, the pastor called me to ask why I missed church. His response was quite unexpected after I told him why. . He believed that my sister asking me to visit my mother's grave that day was a trick from the Devil to miss church. He also said that God has already dealt with my mother and my sister isn't going to Heaven anyway since she was a Muslim. So that wasn't a valid reason to miss church.
 

It astounds me how many Christians get excited or joyful from natural disasters, wars, etc. The so-called Prince of Peace is coming back to make pieces?!?!

[Casualfanboy16]

22 minutes ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

The pastor didn't like the fact that my girlfriend at the time wasn't a Christian. He insisted that I break up with her. He would frequently meet me at work during lunch breaks and read Bible verses about being "unequally yoked" and what could happen to me for being disobedient to God's commands.
The worst was when I missed church one Sunday to visit my mother's grave with my sister who was moving towards her end-of-life phase. A few days after, the pastor called me to ask why I missed church. His response was quite unexpected after I told him why. . He believed that my sister asking me to visit my mother's grave that day was a trick from the Devil to miss church. He also said that God has already dealt with my mother and my sister isn't going to Heaven anyway since she was a Muslim. So that wasn't a valid reason to miss church.

This entire paragraph is just a big yikes. Your pastor is crazy. 

 

22 minutes ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

It astounds me how many Christians get excited or joyful from natural disasters, wars, etc. The so-called Prince of Peace is coming back to make pieces?!?!

Yeah it seems like many Christians just idolize the destruction of the world/humanity....

[AnonSan]

Hi Canadian_Agnostic! Welcome to the forum and so glad to hear from you!

 

The negative culture and experiences in Islam and Christianity are no doubt have become controlling, toxic and radicalized over the years and will most likely continue being so. Both religious institutions are increasingly disregarding humanistic compassion and empathy in favor of egotistic agendas and power over vulnerable people. It's awful!

 

I'm so intrigued about what it was like being raised in an interfaith family, to eventually distance yourself from both religions in the end after years of dismay from the religious communities. What was your thought process and journey like having to navigate through different faiths growing up, especially the moments when you finally decided to leave both communities? What was your parents' response (if you have told them) when you made the decision to leave the religions?

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

58 minutes ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

The pastor didn't like the fact that my girlfriend at the time wasn't a Christian. He insisted that I break up with her. He would frequently meet me at work during lunch breaks and read Bible verses about being "unequally yoked" and what could happen to me for being disobedient to God's commands.
The worst was when I missed church one Sunday to visit my mother's grave with my sister who was moving towards her end-of-life phase. A few days after, the pastor called me to ask why I missed church. His response was quite unexpected after I told him why. . He believed that my sister asking me to visit my mother's grave that day was a trick from the Devil to miss church. He also said that God has already dealt with my mother and my sister isn't going to Heaven anyway since she was a Muslim. So that wasn't a valid reason to miss church.

 

Out of utter curiosity, how long did this process take for you, from the time you befriended this guy and the time you (hopefully) dumped him? 

It sounds rather a crash course on xtianity, if it took as short a time as it appears to me. If not, I'm so sorry! Extended xtianity is bad for your health! 

 

1 hour ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

It astounds me how many Christians get excited or joyful from natural disasters, wars, etc. The so-called Prince of Peace is coming back to make pieces?!?!

 

Yes! My sister joyfully predicts the End at regular intervals. Maybe it gets more money in the collection plate on Sundays? 

 

11 minutes ago, AnonSan said:

The negative culture and experiences in Islam and Christianity are no doubt have become controlling, toxic and radicalized over the years and will most likely continue being so. Both religious institutions are increasingly disregarding humanistic compassion and empathy in favor of egotistic agendas and power over vulnerable people. It's awful!

 Agreed. Thank you for pointing that out 

 

12 minutes ago, AnonSan said:

I'm so intrigued about what it was like being raised in an interfaith family, to eventually distance yourself from both religions in the end after years of dismay from the religious communities. What was your thought process and journey like having to navigate through different faiths growing up, especially the moments when you finally decided to leave both communities? What was your parents' response (if you have told them) when you made the decision to leave the religions?

 

I would also like some more detail on this if you can. 

 

 

[Casualfanboy16]

1 hour ago, AnonSan said:

The negative culture and experiences in Islam and Christianity are no doubt have become controlling, toxic and radicalized over the years and will most likely continue being so. Both religious institutions are increasingly disregarding humanistic compassion and empathy in favor of egotistic agendas and power over vulnerable people. It's awful!

You know what they say... with great power comes great responsibility (I have no idea who originally quoted that). 

 

I know not too much about Islam, so I can't really make comments on it. What's it like? I'm all for religious freedom as long as people respect the rights and humanity of others, but religious extremism is unfortunately a problem that still continues to plague society. This is why I'm dipping my toes into secular humanism.

 

Having a more secular society instead of focusing on concepts that can't be completely proven (or disproven, but still) seems so much better. I'm all for people believing in whatever as long as it doesn't cause harm to others or themselves, but sometimes I see what Christians are up to and I want to scream.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

5 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I know not too much about Islam, so I can't really make comments on it. What's it like?

 

I will let Canadian tell you about Muslims, but what I have seen, they are about as diverse as christianity.

[Canadian_Agnostic]

2 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

This entire paragraph is just a big yikes. Your pastor is crazy. 

 

 

I'm not in contact with him anymore. But I still communicate with some of his friends and former members of his congregation.

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

2 minutes ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

I'm not in contact with him anymore. But I still communicate with some of his friends and former members of his congregation.

 

How do they feel about you leaving the congregation? 

[TheRedneckProfessor]

3 hours ago, AnonSan said:

The negative culture and experiences in Islam and Christianity are no doubt have become controlling, toxic and radicalized over the years and will most likely continue being so. Both religious institutions are increasingly disregarding humanistic compassion and empathy in favor of egotistic agendas and power over vulnerable people.

I can remember a time when, here in America at least, christians and muslims got along relatively well.  Then 9/11 happened and overnight the social landscape changed.  Suspicions, rumors, half-truths and outright lies turned into hate crimes, nationalistic jingoism, vengeance and vendetta.  It's sad.

[Canadian_Agnostic]

47 minutes ago, moxieflux66 said:

 

How do they feel about you leaving the congregation? 

I wasn't the only one who left.
The pastor took early retirement due to disagreements with several of his deacons and elders. 
Many others felt jaded and left shortly afterwards.

[Canadian_Agnostic]

1 hour ago, Weezer said:

 

I will let Canadian tell you about Muslims, but what I have seen, they are about as diverse as christianity.

Islam has two major denominations, Sunni and Shia/Shiite. There are minor ones such as Ahmadiyya and Ismailis that are considered to be cults like Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons. 

[Casualfanboy16]

33 minutes ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

Islam has two major denominations, Sunni and Shia/Shiite. There are minor ones such as Ahmadiyya and Ismailis that are considered to be cults like Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons. 

What differs between the different denominations? Which one did you fall under?

[Crithin8]

On 8/14/2024 at 3:27 PM, Canadian_Agnostic said:

Hello Everyone

Hello back and welcome. Thanks for some of your story and background. I only have experienced half of your religious experience and have also noticed things that were wrong on many levels. It took me a long while to decouple from Christianity. There was just no reconciling that could be done. Still love Christians. Do not like the religion as a whole.

 

 

7 hours ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

The pastor didn't like the fact that my girlfriend at the time wasn't a Christian. He insisted

 

He didn’t like and found Bible passages. Yup, I’ve experienced that

[☆ pantheory ☆]

On 8/14/2024 at 12:27 PM, Canadian_Agnostic said:

Hello Everyone:

I've been peeking at this site for years and I finally took the plunge and joined today.

Here's a few things about my religious background:

I was born to a Muslim father and Christian mother. My mother converted to Islam when I was 10.

After many personal doubts and unsatisfactory answers from relatives and religious teachers, I became an agnostic in my early teens.
For many years I read many books articles and viewed various documentaries on different religions. But I still remained an agnostic.
In the 2010's I was going through a challenging time. At that time I ran into a pastor who lived my town and I befriended him.
Even through I had many qualms about certain aspects about Christian theology, I became a Christian in 2017.
I went through a Bible study with the local pastor for several months before entering his church in 2018. 
Not long after entering the church, the pastor's controlling behaviour began.

I ended up distancing myself from him and then the pandemic came. What made me livid, was that many Christians I knew believed that the corona virus was sign that Jesus would return soon....and they were excited about this. This felt wrong on so many levels and I decided then that it was time to reconsider my conversion to Christianity
I searched online for sites and articles about Christian deconversion/deconstruction and have now returned to being an agnostic.
 

 

My studies have shown me after years, that all religions have problems related to their belief system. Of the 3 Abrahamic religions today, the Christians and Moslem have some extreme members, more than the Jews IMO. For the Jews, war is more related to their freedom and independence in their own country. For Christians and  Moslems, wars are more concerned with religious beliefs which can be very dogmatic provoking violence.

 

What one should believe IMO, should be directly related to your knowledge. For me, I have studied all major religions for many years and have found them all packed full of BS. An additional problem IMO is that science also has some areas of it which are also BS. So the key to any "correct" beliefs is a lot of study and knowledge. Read the Bible, the Koran, the books of Buddha, etc. Take no ones word for the meanings of these books. Read them yourself and IMO one will soon realize that all are full of BS. If philosophy is your bag rather than religion, then you will find an interest rather than a belief in Buddhism. 

 

If you ever realize that all religions relate to man-made God(s) with no real ones, then you could eventually believe that all gods in the past, present and future have been man made, like I believe -- that we are simply animals like all others on Earth, only with higher mental capacities.

 

Cheers to you sir, looking forward to your future postings in this thread and elsewhere

[Canadian_Agnostic]

On 8/15/2024 at 5:57 PM, Crithin8 said:

Hello back and welcome. Thanks for some of your story and background. I only have experienced half of your religious experience and have also noticed things that were wrong on many levels. It took me a long while to decouple from Christianity. There was just no reconciling that could be done. Still love Christians. Do not like the religion as a whole.

 

 

 

He didn’t like and found Bible passages. Yup, I’ve experienced that

It's incredible how some pastors and Christians will stretch verses like an unscrupulous lawyer or politician to justify controlling behavior or to excuse their own vices.

[Crithin8]

4 hours ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

It's incredible how some pastors and Christians will stretch verses like an unscrupulous lawyer or politician to justify controlling behavior or to excuse their own vices.

Yes it’s sad. I’m reminded of a book titled Boundaries. A psychologist author that claims Christianity, but I don’t think it’s a sleight of hand book trying to sell dogma. I remember it stating that when someone has their boundaries intruded on and they push back on the intrusion that they may be surprised by how angry they feel. After reading that book and realizing that I was being targeted by a pastor and associate pastor I can remember how angry what they were doing made me feel. The result of the whole thing caused me 9 years of distress. But now I’m free. And they are not. No satisfaction about that. It’s just a fact. 

[Canadian_Agnostic]

On 8/21/2024 at 7:07 PM, Crithin8 said:

Yes it’s sad. I’m reminded of a book titled Boundaries. A psychologist author that claims Christianity, but I don’t think it’s a sleight of hand book trying to sell dogma. I remember it stating that when someone has their boundaries intruded on and they push back on the intrusion that they may be surprised by how angry they feel. After reading that book and realizing that I was being targeted by a pastor and associate pastor I can remember how angry what they were doing made me feel. The result of the whole thing caused me 9 years of distress. But now I’m free. And they are not. No satisfaction about that. It’s just a fact. 

So you used a Christian book as a way of facilitating your deconversion?

[Crithin8]

22 minutes ago, Canadian_Agnostic said:

So you used a Christian book as a way of facilitating your deconversion?

Yes and no. If I was deconverting over years than yes. If I was questioning and still a Christian, then deconverted, then no. I’m not claiming either way and I’m comfortable with other’s perspective. I think some would see it one way and others another. The reason for stating the book was from a author that had a Christian base is to be sensitive to others that are healing from past experiences and not promote it if it would be a trigger. For me and myself I’ll closely quote a political philosopher, “I’m a philosopher and will present arguments for a position and against a position.” Given time to reflect I find good in many places. But I come from a linage that can find a purpose for mosquitos! So I’m open minded to sifting for truths and good ideas. I do see the irony in it though!