Intro

[Invertigo]

Hello,

I have had OCD all my life which affected my Christianity.  The Obsessive Thoughts wouldn’t let me make any decisions about religion.

 

Funny Story:  We would watch “The Ten Commandments” movie every year on TV.  It always bothered me that after every plague

god would harden Pharaoh’s heart and then punish him.  Then I found this in the bible.

 

Growing up Catholic I was disgusted with how the church would persecute victims and protect priests who sexually abused people.

 

I believe in evolution and the Old Earth.  

 

I believe the bible is man made and not the inerrant word of god.

 

I am not LGBTQ+ but I support them and I do not understand why their lifestyle is sinful.  You are born the way you are.

In creationism god made the gene pool so that people can be born that way and in evolution it makes sense.

 

I do not understand why the Holocaust was allowed to happen.

 

I have depression and am very afraid.

 

Bob

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Welcome to Ex-C Invertigo!

I battle depression and anxiety, and didn't realize how much it fed into the beliefs I had until years after I left the faith. Medicine helps.

The faith survives through emotional manipulation of believers, since there is no reality to back it up. Promises and stories of god's power that fall flat when you need them to be real, and church teaches us to blame ourselves, or to keep endlessly trusting the imaginary friend who is clearly not trust-worthy. 

 

You saw through the ugly nature of the bible god, and the hypocrisy of the church leadership that protected abusers instead of "the least of these". Those show you have a good bullshit meter and see through the "don't question me" trick. 

 

The Holocaust was possible because people looked the other way, and joined in when sections of society were called "other" and blamed for everything that people didn't like. The people were told tales of when Germany was pure and great, when German blood hadn't been polluted by the "others". A physical ideal was promoted so that the "others" would stand out even more as not desirable. At that point, even the "others" who did have the physical ideal were from a polluted blood line and still rejected. They were called less than human, dragging the good people down and robbing them through banking and cheating business. It was taught in schools to children. Some names of the concentration camps were from children's stories to soften their harsh reality: Buchenwald, the forest of books. Ravensbrück, the raven's brook. Gross-Rosen, big roses. Change the emotions of the people, and reality seems very different and they will agree with and even participate in cruelty, particularly when it is rewarded publicly. It took a reality check from the rest of the world to stop the slaughter. But the hatred continues to this day and is being fanned to flame again, and the rest of us notice it. 

 

No god intervened. Both sides claimed god was with them. But it was all about humans making choices, blaming others, and being manipulated by politicians who controlled the narrative that was allowed on radio, in newspapers, and in schools. 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

7 hours ago, Invertigo said:

Hello,

I have had OCD all my life which affected my Christianity.  The Obsessive Thoughts wouldn’t let me make any decisions about religion.

 

Funny Story:  We would watch “The Ten Commandments” movie every year on TV.  It always bothered me that after every plague

god would harden Pharaoh’s heart and then punish him.  Then I found this in the bible.

 

Growing up Catholic I was disgusted with how the church would persecute victims and protect priests who sexually abused people.

 

I believe in evolution and the Old Earth.  

 

I believe the bible is man made and not the inerrant word of god.

 

I am not LGBTQ+ but I support them and I do not understand why their lifestyle is sinful.  You are born the way you are.

In creationism god made the gene pool so that people can be born that way and in evolution it makes sense.

 

I do not understand why the Holocaust was allowed to happen.

 

I have depression and am very afraid.

 

Bob

 

Welcome Bob!  You may have OCD, but otherwise your brain seems to be working great!  The fear based religion certainly has not helped. 

 

It took me over 30 years of study to finally figure out the Bible was not the inerrant word of God.  And probably another year or two to figure out that all gods and religions are myths.  Yes, it CAN BE SCARY!  And I took antidepressants for years.  But once I broke free, and finally was able to see things clearly, the depression went away at about 50 years of age.  HANG IN THERE and we will do everything we can to help you along on your journey!  Let us know how we can best help.

 

P.S.  I also questioned why God would harden Pharaoh's heart and delay the trip he wanted his people to take.  That did not "add up."  Along with many other things in the Bible.  I also like your very clever forum name.

[Casualfanboy16]

11 hours ago, Invertigo said:

Hello,

I have had OCD all my life which affected my Christianity.  The Obsessive Thoughts wouldn’t let me make any decisions about religion.

 

Funny Story:  We would watch “The Ten Commandments” movie every year on TV.  It always bothered me that after every plague

god would harden Pharaoh’s heart and then punish him.  Then I found this in the bible.

 

Growing up Catholic I was disgusted with how the church would persecute victims and protect priests who sexually abused people.

 

I believe in evolution and the Old Earth.  

 

I believe the bible is man made and not the inerrant word of god.

 

I am not LGBTQ+ but I support them and I do not understand why their lifestyle is sinful.  You are born the way you are.

In creationism god made the gene pool so that people can be born that way and in evolution it makes sense.

 

I do not understand why the Holocaust was allowed to happen.

 

I have depression and am very afraid.

 

Bob

Hello, Bob! Welcome to the forum! While I don't have OCD or anything like that, but I imagine it's a difficult thing to deal with. Obsessive thoughts sound awful. I guess I did struggle with that in the earlier stages of my deconversion, but I don't want to label it as OCD because it was probably just anxiety in my case.

 

I also found it weird how God repeatedly hardened Pharaoh’s heart and made that out to essentially be punished for it. It's odd. Just another logical inconsistency among others in that book. More proof it's man-made than anything.

 

Also, thanks man! Another LGBT ally! As a gay guy, I love to see it! It's reassuring to know others out there are supportive!

[Invertigo]

Thank you Fuego, Weezer, and Casualfanboy16,

 

I have been looking for a place where people have the same thoughts as me.

It is hard dealing with these issues not only due to the OCD, but people don’t want to hear it or say

you can’t give up believing.

 

Other things that got me thinking.

The King James Bible, that evangelicals swear by, was edited and translated incorrectly especially when mentioning hell,

which did not come from the original manuscripts.  I believe the concept of hell came from the Greek Hades.  Dantes Inferno

did not come out until centuries later as an invention.  The fire and brimstone preachers ran with this which is no way to

gather converts.

 

The concept of original sin would mean that god did this on purpose and then added labor pains and difficult farming.

Then he let loose demons on us and sent plaques and pestilence and promises continuous suffering and the end of the

World.  After that you can get eternal punishment.

 

There are many other things.

 

Thanks for noticing my user names play on words.  It came to me on the spure of the moment.

 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

5 hours ago, Invertigo said:

 

Other things that got me thinking.

 

And you will discover many more for years to come.  I've been "out" for over 30 years, and still occasionally find something new that doesn't add up.

 

5 hours ago, Invertigo said:

 

The concept of original sin

 

It certainly does not add up to a loving God!  Only a sick and needy God would need this.  It is a very sly, self fulfilling prophecy.  If you truly believe you were born inferior and need "God" to make you whole, you are hooked.   A God doing this is akin to a human with a mental illness disorder called "Factitious disorder Imposed on Another".   They need others to be "sick" and needy, so they can take care of them and feel like a hero.   And you can imagine what it does to a persons feeling of self worth and ability. 

 

5 hours ago, Invertigo said:

 

Thanks for noticing my user names play on words.  It came to me on the spure of the moment.

 

Many years ago I had a bout of vertigo.  And I remember feeling like I had been inverted.  I got a chuckle with your play on words.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

[☆ pantheory ☆]

On 11/26/2024 at 3:36 PM, Invertigo said:

Hello,

I have had OCD all my life which affected my Christianity.  The Obsessive Thoughts wouldn’t let me make any decisions about religion.

 

Funny Story:  We would watch “The Ten Commandments” movie every year on TV.  It always bothered me that after every plague

god would harden Pharaoh’s heart and then punish him.  Then I found this in the bible.

 

Growing up Catholic I was disgusted with how the church would persecute victims and protect priests who sexually abused people.

 

I believe in evolution and the Old Earth.  

 

I believe the bible is man made and not the inerrant word of god.

 

I am not LGBTQ+ but I support them and I do not understand why their lifestyle is sinful.  You are born the way you are.

In creationism god made the gene pool so that people can be born that way and in evolution it makes sense.

 

I do not understand why the Holocaust was allowed to happen.

 

I have depression and am very afraid.

 

Bob

Yeah, OCD can be a big problem. People who have it need to try to control it. It can be somewhat controlled. Once you've found a routine that enables you to live with it then your depression should somewhat subside because of the obveious success of your efforts.  Continue on with such small, easily achievable project and little y little your depression should go away.

 

"In creationism god made the gene pool so that people can be born that way"

 

That's why creationism isn't real. If one is born that way then free will must come to play, for him to be different. Most identical twins have many like characteristics, but some raised in different families  grow up and think quite differently. They are in a different society,  environment, read different things, and have different degrees of freewill.  

 

As a religious thing, Christians have long blamed the Jews for the execution of Christ, even though Jesus himself was a practicing Jew. The Germans had a long history of disliking Jews for this reason, but also because they did not follow the rules of the Christian Bible such as lending money at exorbitant rates, violating the usury laws of the bible. Sending money outside the country, hoarding it rather than spending it. etc. Minority religions, their people, non-conformists etc. are always persecuted and looked down on be much of society.

 

In the bible in several places it tells of the "sins" of same-sex sexual relationships, but what happens behind closed doors is now legal but still most people are religious and don;t like it, and they don't like abnormal behavior.

 

If you are afraid, you should know what you are afraid of and why.  You need to change your behavior and eliminate your fear, or live somewhere else where you won't be afraid.

 

Cheers to you sir  , and welcome to the X-Christ forum. Hope you like it here and make many future postings

[Invertigo]

Due to early Trauma and OCD it made it hard to come to terms with what I knew intellectually and emotionally.

 

I was referring to being born with a certain sexuality.  In my view it is the same as your skin color being set.  Further credence to this is the emotional trauma of denial and the damage done by conversion therapy (torture).  LGBTQ+ children can come from straight parents and straight children can come from same sex parents.  I do not consider their sexuality to be abnormal just as much as you shouldn’t offer your daughters to be raped to prevent a homosexual rape.

 

Religion is an excuse to discriminate against people who are different than you.  It makes no sense to single out Jewish people for the death of Jesus which, according to the narrative, was preordained by god.

 

Fear can be faced head on.  See if the cause is valid or not.  In my case it has a mental health component.  If you run away, unless you live someplace where it is physically dangerous, allows your fear to follow you.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

Well said.  You are welcome to tell us more.  Perhaps a Christan who has been posting on the site recently will learn something, along with what Casualboy16 has written in the Lion's Den.

[Dsred19]

12 hours ago, Invertigo said:

 

 

Religion is an excuse to discriminate against people who are different than you.  

 

This is exactly what I realized, especially in the last few years with the way evangelicals have behaved in recent years in the US. 
 

As a fellow depression sufferer I can tell you it can get so much better. Don’t be afraid to seek help and fight for wellness. Medicine is essential for me but there are lots of other options too.

[TABA]

On 11/26/2024 at 6:36 PM, Invertigo said:

I have had OCD all my life which affected my Christianity.  The Obsessive Thoughts wouldn’t let me make any decisions about religion.

Christianity is especially bad for people with OCD or any kind of anxiety.  These conditions easily latch on to the convoluted and often contradictory details of the religion.  So I hope you can get completely away from Christianity and anything resembling it.  How are you doing in that respect?  Do you feel confidently devonverted or are there still things you struggle with?  Over the years, this community has helped many make a full deconversion and gain a better life.  It’s why we’re here, so please let us know if there is any aspect of the breaking free process that we can help with.  Of course, we are not medical professionals so it is important to get help for depression.  

[Invertigo]

I have intellectually accepted most of it.  Now I feel nihilistic and hopeless, both a part of my OCD, inside your head it feels real and frightening.

[Invertigo]

On 12/1/2024 at 7:33 PM, TABA said:

Christianity is especially bad for people with OCD or any kind of anxiety.  These conditions easily latch on to the convoluted and often contradictory details of the religion.  So I hope you can get completely away from Christianity and anything resembling it.  How are you doing in that respect?  Do you feel confidently devonverted or are there still things you struggle with?  Over the years, this community has helped many make a full deconversion and gain a better life.  It’s why we’re here, so please let us know if there is any aspect of the breaking free process that we can help with.  Of course, we are not medical professionals so it is important to get help for depression.  

Thank you.  I have meds and a counselor.  I am also being treated for PTSD and am using Accelerated Rehabilitation Therapy with success in some areas.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

39 minutes ago, Invertigo said:

I have intellectually accepted most of it.  Now I feel nihilistic and hopeless, both a part of my OCD, inside your head it feels real and frightening.

Hand In There!!  The psychological conditioning can be very hard to dislodge.  A book that might help resolve your trauma is "Diabolical Trinity" by Mark Gregory Karris.  It is available on Kindle ebooks.

 

Have you "come out" as a questioner, or nonbeliever yet?  Are you being pressured by anyone to return to the fold?