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God's Own Holy Effing Know-it-all


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I hate this guy. ANd I've known many like him in my life, but let me dwell on this guy. I think I'll call him, oh, I dont know, "Vince".


Vince is one of those natural talker guys. He has a voice truly born to be a radio jock, or a game show man. It's a talent, yes, but a pain in the ass to listen to. I think he likes his voice too much too.


When asked to read a passage of the holy bile, he reads it like he was going for an Oscar. A happy passage? Well, then he puts a joyful spring into every word and a glorious smile on his face. A sad passage? His voice is quiet, and sober. Just a normal passage? He puts life into each line, carefully avoiding any kind of montony, trying to make each sentence a fountain of interest.


Why the F can't he just read it boring and dry like it was meant to be??


He's also a fountain himself, of every bit of knowledge you need to be a bile expert. He taught sunday school in my class a couple weeks ago. He described in detail how fishermen of ancient times did their thing. Maybe he studied up on such arcane knowledge before class, but it was more than we needed to know but it made him look sure smart though.


I can't catalog each thing he's ever done, but he just annoys me so much. All such holy know-it-alls do. And anyone who ever calls Jesus "Yeshuja" or whatever WTF it is.


Just a couple more things from this week's sunday school. He was Not the teacher this week, as he was just a stand in last week for the vactioning teacher. So this week, we had another standin. This week, the standin was a much more normal guy--although he sure is a fundy inside, he didn't get on my nerves. But Vince was there, and had to elaborate and monopolize the time because he still had lots of wisdom to share.


He trampled on the teacher's agenda by talking to much, reading enormous passages out loud that had only the slightest bit to do with the topic at hand, and by declaring "to me, the most important verse we're seeing this week is..." That irritated me. I think the teacher probably had his own conclusions he would like to draw, not take lessons from a student.


Shortly later, the teacher made some reference to the reminder to love all brothers in christ, even those you may have problems with or find distasteful.


Vince nodded approvingly at this wisdom, clearly endorsing this instruction to the novice students. Little did he know how much he benefited from it.






By the way, this critique of Vinny was not because I'm envious of his talent. Far be it. I'm just contemptous, pure and simple.

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