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Can We Love?


Matt
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Hey guyz. Have you ever come across Christians that beleive non-christians are incapable of love?......Now i love my little brothers. Id die for them. But as a non-christian i am 'incapable of love'. Ne thoughts on that subjects guyz?

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I've heard a total of three sides to this issue coming from True Believers™.

 

1. No. Unbelievers can not love.

2. Yes. Unbelievers can love.

3. Yes. Unbelievers can love, but they can not love as deeply as those who have Christ in their hearts.

 

 

I'd like to have person's of either of those opinions strangle themselves on my cock.

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Hey guyz. Have you ever come across Christians that beleive non-christians are incapable of love?......Now i love my little brothers. Id die for them. But as a non-christian i am 'incapable of love'. Ne thoughts on that subjects guyz?

 

I read once that one of the early church fathers - Augustine I think - said that there was no charity (in the sense of selfless love) in the world before the coming of Christ, perhaps this is what these xtians are meaning? I think its nonsense and was all part of the process of demonising everything outside of xtianity, i.e if you were outside of the church you were under the reign of demons.

 

p.s presumably the good samaritan was an exception to st augustines case.

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I was taught to believe that in romantic relationships, non-christians would never treat me as well as a Christian partner. Interestingly, I've found this to be the exact opposite. Everytime I've had a relationship with any male figure whether my father or a boyfriend, they always chose their religion over me. Even my mother's become rather fundyish, always talking about god but not giving me what I've always needed from her, love and attention. It's as if her belief has made her lose more compassion, not gain it.

 

I've also had a friendship I had to cut off because my friend would never see me as a human being if I wasn't a believer. So wherever they get that crap about believers having a monopoly on love, it's certainly not based on reality.

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Hey guyz. Have you ever come across Christians that beleive non-christians are incapable of love?......Now i love my little brothers. Id die for them. But as a non-christian i am 'incapable of love'. Ne thoughts on that subjects guyz?

 

 

What is Love? Ask Mr. Haddaway :-P

 

I think its just another cheap ploy that religion uses to keep membership from dwindling. :nono:

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I was taught to believe that in romantic relationships, non-christians would never treat me as well as a Christian partner. Interestingly, I've found this to be the exact opposite. Everytime I've had a relationship with any male figure whether my father or a boyfriend, they always chose their religion over me. Even my mother's become rather fundyish, always talking about god but not giving me what I've always needed from her, love and attention. It's as if her belief has made her lose more compassion, not gain it.

 

I've also had a friendship I had to cut off because my friend would never see me as a human being if I wasn't a believer. So wherever they get that crap about believers having a monopoly on love, it's certainly not based on reality.

xtians that seem to show lack of compassion towards even their own family are only following the example of Jesus who treats his family in ways that I can't reconcile with the OT command such as "Honour your father and mother". It might be argued that Jesus is only trying to illustrate that love of God comes above all else and, since Jesus is supposed to be God, and they have to put him above everyone else as he is very jealous. That being said surely God could have put across this point without using the very disrespectful examples given by Jesus, e.g "hate your mother and father.." etc.

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I've also had a friendship I had to cut off because my friend would never see me as a human being if I wasn't a believer. So wherever they get that crap about believers having a monopoly on love, it's certainly not based on reality.

 

One of the most troubling things that has ever happened in my life, is when one of my oldest and dearest childhood friends became a "Jesus Bot," and will no longer associate with me because I represent his "Dark Past."

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Hey guyz. Have you ever come across Christians that beleive non-christians are incapable of love?......Now i love my little brothers. Id die for them. But as a non-christian i am 'incapable of love'. Ne thoughts on that subjects guyz?

 

Only on the Internet so far, not yet in real life, thank goodness.

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I think that since I have become and atheist I am more capable of love and love more deeply than I ever did in Christianity. You see, now I am responsible for my actions and their consequences. There is no "Satan did that" on a bad day and "God will fix it." There is no reliance on an absent God to work through me, it is something I have to do myself.

 

I consider my other morals more carefully now and back them up with reasoning and logic that fits my life and that of my fiancee (and soon to be here, baby!). I have found that mine and my husband's Christian family that live out of state might think us to be immoral and without the greater capacity to love that they have, because we aren't Christians. This brings about a lot of problems for us. Plus, the way they interact with one another on a daily basis is less involved and loving (from our point of view) than the way we are to one another. We actually take the time to work through difficult issues or arguments, and we talk daily about how to raise our son so as to provide a loving and secure environment for him to grow. I know my parents didn't do this with my brother and me, and Joey's pretty sure his didn't either. This led to lots of problems growing up for both of us.

 

Anyway my overall opinion is that religion or God doesn't have a damn thing to do with love.

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I might have, but I'm not sure.

 

A long distance relationship of five years ended even though I made it very clear to the guy that I was not in any way going to try to force him to leave his religion. We never discussed my deconversion.

 

I didn't understand why he refused to even talk to me about what he was cutting off all contact with me, but perhaps this post explains it. He never said, "I think we need to discontinue our relationship because I only date Christian women", he just started running personal ads and got ahold of my credit card number (I had been paying his ISP bill) and used it to download several hundred dollars worth of porn.

 

At the time, I was more concerned about the sex aspect of it. I'm still not sure if there is such a thing as love or whether it is just some imaginary fairy tale people say to get other people to have sex with them.

 

In a nonsexual context, I know that I love my children much more now than I did when I was a fundie. Back then I was so afraid of them burning in hell for all eternity that I was a bit of a control freak. I remember reading the Perls' books and thinking that they were so much kinder and gentler than the way most xtians raise their kids. I also remember frequently being told that I "Act like you love your children more than you love God!" as if this was some horrible thing.

 

Of course I bought the bait and skipped the kids' schoolwork for the day and ignored their needs to be a good little robot.

 

My 15 year old couldn't stand me and moved in with my mother across the country. She wouldn't even speak to me for months.

 

I deconverted on Valentine's Day of 2005 and that guy dumped me on July 7. My then-15 year old is back home now but we still have a very difficult relationship that I'm not sure I will ever be able to repair. My youngest child, who has always been an atheist, is the most loving, compassionate, and forgiving person I know.

 

So if this is a common belief among Xtians, I'm not sure there's much you can do about it except try to end the relationship on your OWN terms and get out of it with your dignity as intact as possible.

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When I was Christian, I did get the impression that some Christians thought non-believers couldn't love or at least not as good as a Christian. Something which bugged the hell outta me because I'm married to a fellow atheist and knew that it was totally untrue (though of course when I was Christian that meant I was "unequally-yoked" and that was another big no-no).

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I've never met anybody who thought I was incapable of love, but I have been treated as if my emotions were "less than human." Obviously since I was a godless heathen, I couldn't possibly know what real love was. Though interestingly a lot of people assumed I understood true evil, or I was just too stupid and deluded to understand any of it.

 

Reminds me of Dr. Suess's "Starbellied Sneeches."

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Yea, I remember that whole "unequally yoked" crap; I think this is starting to make sense to me now.

 

I was absolutely devastated when I stopped being human in that guy's eyes because I DID want to talk about it and I never once wanted to end the relationship just because I deconverted or to try to make him into a carbon copy of myself.

 

I guess in his eyes it was as if I had died or something. He didn't owe me an explanation. I became a thing. I was a disembodied credit card number or a source of free porn, not a living, breathing human being with dreams and feelings and hopes for the future just like everybody else.

 

I'm sure glad I'm out of that one, but yea, I don't think I could have gotten through it without being commited to the insane asylum if it hadn't been for my atheist little boy and an atheist radical lesbian feminist who knew just the right things to say to me to get me to scrape myself up off the floor and stand on my own two feet.

 

Neither of them wanted to have sex with me.

 

Christianity is a lot like Amway, isn't it? Just some stupid pyramid scheme; if you don't buy their crap, they have no use for you at all.

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Yea, I remember that whole "unequally yoked" crap; I think this is starting to make sense to me now.

 

I was absolutely devastated when I stopped being human in that guy's eyes because I DID want to talk about it and I never once wanted to end the relationship just because I deconverted or to try to make him into a carbon copy of myself.

 

I guess in his eyes it was as if I had died or something. He didn't owe me an explanation. I became a thing. I was a disembodied credit card number or a source of free porn, not a living, breathing human being with dreams and feelings and hopes for the future just like everybody else.

 

I'm sure glad I'm out of that one, but yea, I don't think I could have gotten through it without being commited to the insane asylum if it hadn't been for my atheist little boy and an atheist radical lesbian feminist who knew just the right things to say to me to get me to scrape myself up off the floor and stand on my own two feet.

 

Neither of them wanted to have sex with me.

 

Christianity is a lot like Amway, isn't it? Just some stupid pyramid scheme; if you don't buy their crap, they have no use for you at all.

 

 

That's a sick, SICK, way to treat somebody. My roomie's ex did the exact same thing to her. She was raised Roman Catholic and deconverted to Agnostic, and he was a Calvinist. He strung along her heart, and she tried to work with him about it, but he kept waffling constantly between her and his faith. She finally told him off about it, and he up and decided she wasn't "good enough" for him because she wasn't born and raised a Calvinist like he was even though she was willing to learn about his beliefs and accept his faith (not adopt it, but live with it).

 

He didn't win any sympathy with that one. He got promptly outted from our circle of friends and was told to go fuck himself. As far as I know, he's still out there playing alone with his god, while my roomie is getting married to a very nice young pagan who treats her right.

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Hey guyz. Have you ever come across Christians that beleive non-christians are incapable of love?......Now i love my little brothers. Id die for them. But as a non-christian i am 'incapable of love'. Ne thoughts on that subjects guyz?

 

Of course we can love, we're people too aren't we? Anyone who makes easy assumptions about you is an idiot. Just ignore them.

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