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Religion Almost Killed Me


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I decided to edit my testimony when I wasn't under the influence of alcohol and to try to not be so graphic and more positive about it.

 

I was born into religion. My parents took me to church and shoved it down my throat every Sunday morning , evening and on Wednesday nights. I am sure this has happened to many others but personally I only know two others who are atheists and they do not have the same story as mine. Anyway I guess I believed in jesus when I was growing up. I had it pounded into my head so much that the only thing I knew was when I die I was going to heaven or hell.

 

When I was about 7 or 8 years old I was baptized with three others in a Free Will Baptist church. The preachers podium had a big glass case behind it that was filled with water so the whole church could see through it. When the preacher , pastor whatever put me down into the water I thought I was supposed to feel different or something. I did not feel any different only wet. Not to much longer after that the preacher disappeared and so did one of the deacons wives. Rumor had it that he was selling drugs and living in sin. My parents moved real fast to the next town over that also had a Free Will Baptist church there.

 

I continued all my studies of the bible going to all the church functions and answering the questions the way I thought I was supposed to. I was just a child and was easily influenced but I did listen to everything they taught me. I remember the preacher said that two piece bathing suits was a sin for a woman to wear and when I seen my mother buy just the kind of bathing suit the preacher had spoke about at a store one day I had a little bit of a temper tamptren. My mother took it back. But I still could not believe that she would do something like that. It was a sin.

 

When I turned 11 or 12 my parents sent me to a private school (Penticostal). I had no idea what I was getting into. On the first Wednesday I was there we had to go to the main church where they had a special speaker from another state. He got up on the stage and started praying. Then he said that the angles were showing him who needed to come up to the sage and be prayed for by putting a halo above there heads that only he could see. Anyway people started going up when he would point to them. He would pray for them and they would start talking all funny and some of them started flopping around the floor like a fish out of water. I was starting to get really scared cause I did not know anything about this kind of thing. Of course the guy pointed at me and said that the angles was putting a halo above my head and I should come forward to be prayed for. I was scared stiff. I wanted to get up and run out and never come back but before things got to intense for me he seen a halo around someone else's head and he got them to go up there with him. That drew the attention away from me. I got a little more use to that sort of thing but I still felt very uncomfortable. That was about the time I started to feel that I did not want to go to church no more but I was afraid of what my parents would think.

 

When I turned 14 or 15 I remember telling my parents I no longer wanted to go to church. My fathers response was that as long as I lived under his roof I would go to church. He was in the military and very strict. I thought about running away but I had no where to go.

 

I started to rebel by smoking pot and sneaking out at night to go out drinking and to party. Of course my main thing I wanted was to get laid by some hot chic but that did not happen until I was 16 and she was not very hot. I enjoyed myself but I did not know what the hell I was doing.

 

When I turned 17 I moved out of my parents house to a friends house down the street. I was happy to be free. I could do what ever I wanted. Well I was still a rebel and got into lots of street fights and started to deal in drugs on a small level. Looking back I made some pretty bad decisions. I was a small time criminal and did some horrific things. One other person I knew had just got into a small cult of people (five total) and started to kill people in the name of satan in a small town called Salida. The people around here called them the Elm Street murders cause they happened on a street named Elm Street. Probably a reference to the movie Nightmare on Elm Street. Anyway I'm glad I never got involved with those people to much. They are all on death row now in CA so they might kill them when they are about 80 years old.

 

I got hooked on drugs for about two years from age 22 to 24. I checked myself into a 12 step program and I could not get past the 2nd step accepting that there is a greater power than me and that higher power is somehow in charge of my life. I struggled with this issue in my head for a long time until I got a computer about 5 or 6 years ago. For some reason I was wanting look into atheisem. I guess I already did not believe in any god although I still told people I did but I was curious. I typed in Atheist into an aol search and they kept putting me onto some religious sight. Well that made me more curious so I kept on looking. I found some other sights but the archved posts for exchristian seemed to be the most informative. I would read a lot of what was in there and in my mind I was an Atheist but I still did not want to tell people. I guess I was ashamed of it until one day at work one guy keeps trying to push god on me and ignoring him was not working. I told him I was an Atheist and at that moment in my life I felt such a burden lifted from me. It was great to finally come out of the closet and be myself. Of course he and others keep trying to debate the existence of a god with me but they can never come up with any good proof. All they have is a book , word of mouth and a feeling they get when the holy spirit comes down. I do not start the debates or did I tell anyone else I was an Atheist but those people talk a lot behind my back.

 

Anyway I am doing great now mentally in my personal life and at work.

 

Recently I went to China looking for a woman that would accept me for who I am and I found her. I am currently trying to go through all the red tape of trying to get a K-1 Visa.

 

That is my Testimony I will update or correct anything when I get the chance.

 

Douglas

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Hi Douglas,

 

Welcome here! That is quite a story. Thankfully, you made it out of that alive.

 

Taph

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Wow Douglas!

 

I have to say that I suspected kids got into trouble to oppose their parents' religion, but I never read it so graphically described before.

 

Thank you for posting your story. I hope your wedding plans go without a glitch.

 

Do you talk to your parents nowadays?

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Wow Douglas!

 

Do you talk to your parents nowadays?

 

Yes I do speak with my parents on a regular bases but I do try to avoid religious talk.

 

I did not mean to be so graphic but writing this was like taking a big weight off my shoulders.I do not have no one else to talk to about these things.

 

Thank you for your support

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Welcome!

 

That really is an awesome story.

 

This is one of the best places to talk, you'll find there are lots of cool people here.

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