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A Good Person


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As the title says, it's something I've been wondering. What really makes someone nice or let alone a good person? The usual concept of a "good person" we're usually feed as kids is someone who never gets mad (let alone display any "bad" emmotions), turns the other cheek no matter how badly they are treated (don't get me wrong, there's a huge difference between never fighting back and treating others with compassion), etc. But when reality comes in, it all snaps back on you, leaving you taken advantage of, living in fear of accidently pissing others off that you'll do whatever humiliating crap they want to avoid an even worse punishment, and/or forgiving some bully who isn't even the least bit sorry for what they did and will do it again the next chance they get. It's been something I've been continplating lately.

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From my perspective, "good" is undefinable without being able to recognize what is "bad". Both are self-serving labels to describe how someone or something makes us feel. When we say someone is "bad", it's because they make us feel hurt, angry or unsure of ourselves with their words or actions. So too "good" people tend to bolster our confidence in ourselves and contribute something worthwhile to our community and to our lives. The labels we give others tend to say more about ourselves than the people we're labelling.

 

I don't believe in that nonsense anymore that "good people" never get angry or feel pain. There's a whole spectrum of human emotions. To deny the "bad" would be to ignore the "good".

 

My aunt tells me pretty much every time the subject comes up that I shouldn't talk back or a man isn't going to want me. Fuck that. I hold my tongue often enough to choke a horse. If a man truly cares for me, he's gonna have to take the "bad" with the "good". If not, then he's a shallow jerk anyway who wants a Stepford wife.

 

I'm an Italian diva, bitch!!!11111~

 

Anyway, I was mostly brought up by a villageful of people from the 30s, 40 and 50s. I got the "good girls don't lose their tempers" message rammed into my head repeatedly. It's partially stuck, so I don't get out of control in public. But I resent the notion that feeling irritated because, say, someone older than myself is talking down to me like I'm five, somehow makes me "bad". EVERYBODY hates being spoken to like they're a little kid who doesn't know anything. It's just my generation and the teenagers who came after me who are most vocal about it, because we've still got that youthful exuberance and we're naturally rebellious against outmoded social mores.

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Right and wrong, good and bad, are all a matter of perspective. They are not definable across the board. You have to do what is right for you and set your own boundaries. You have to know who you are, what you want, and be secure in that. People will interpret your actions as good and bad, but that doesn't matter especially much.

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Right and wrong, good and bad, are all a matter of perspective. They are not definable across the board. You have to do what is right for you and set your own boundaries. You have to know who you are, what you want, and be secure in that. People will interpret your actions as good and bad, but that doesn't matter especially much.

 

How true, in practical terms "a good person" is somebody we like and not everyone values things in the same way. A xtian fundie might argue that the bible or their church is the benchmark for goodness but that just moves the subjective element to another place - it never goes away. For me the most attractive quality in somebody is love but others could say that is to be be blind.

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In my experience, a "good person" is someone who goes to church every Sunday, is always active and doing something with other people in the church, doesn't like geeky things such as science fiction or those fantasy books or computer games with ev1l!1!1!1! magic, doesn't watch movies above a PG rating, especially doesn't do anything the church disapproves of, doesn't use their imagination, doesn't use their brain, doesn't question, never speaks up, and always does as they're told. Oh, and who also hates with a passion while claiming to love those who aren't Christian or who happen to be homosexual.

 

That is fundy Christian morality. I want no part of it.

 

Now, IMO real morality consists of not doing unnecessary harm to others. Granted, it's highly debatable as to what is necessary harm, but I think that living by the golden rule is a good start. You don't need any kind of dogma or religion to not harm other people.

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Everone is a "good" person to someone and a "bad" one to someone else. Hell, there are people who still think Hilter was "good".

 

It's all totally relative...

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There are no good and bad people...only good and bad actions.

 

Hmmm....could we also add to that, good and bad decisions?

 

A decision is an action. Anything you do of your own volition is an action.

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There are no good and bad people...only good and bad actions.

 

Hmmm....could we also add to that, good and bad decisions?

 

A decision is an action. Anything you do of your own volition is an action.

If a person actions are considered bad or immoral a majority of the time, what does that make them?

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There are no good and bad people...only good and bad actions.

 

You know, for once I agree with you. Nobody is entirely good or entirely bad. It's their actions that count. LOL on your sig, BTW.

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My evolving definition of a "bad action" is an action that involves overriding the free will of another person. I consider murder, rape, stealing all bad actions because they all involve taking something from someone without their consent. Whether that is their life, the right to say no to sex, ect., ect.

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"Good" & "Bad" are subjective terms based upon your individual value system.

 

As for me, I look back at things I once believed so strongly to be "right" and "good," and I see how much I have changed....in many areas a diametric change. What I once thought was good I now view, personally, as bad and vice versa.

 

So, it is subjective.

 

I choose to live my life placing love and truth as my priority. First I believe an individual must love themselves. So I feel one should focus on development of their self, emotionally--intellectually--physically--spiritually--and be who they are without any regard for what any other person may think of them. Then, as a whole person, I think one can best relate to the rest of the world from a sense of strength and awareness of one's self first. Make who you are the priority...follow your heart...pursue that which makes you happy...and then you become one capable of doing "good" for others because you first focused on your own "good" or well being and development.

 

 

 

Right and wrong, good and bad, are all a matter of perspective. They are not definable across the board. You have to do what is right for you and set your own boundaries. You have to know who you are, what you want, and be secure in that. People will interpret your actions as good and bad, but that doesn't matter especially much.

 

 

Agreed!

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There are no good and bad people...only good and bad actions.

 

You know, for once I agree with you. Nobody is entirely good or entirely bad. It's their actions that count. LOL on your sig, BTW.

 

I totally agree on this, too. I've noticed that most people do a ton of hand wringing about a moral issue rather than take action (I guess I'd be in that lazy group, too).

 

But I usually agree w/ both of you anyways, so no big surprise.

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Haha..."a good person'.....

is something a person likes to assert to themselves and especially to other's after they have fuckedup badly .............or have left the community of 'believer's'...where that title was never, never questioned.

 

nah... its like the issue of good/evil - its not only relative but often A RELative....(bad joke)...

 

who cares........the 'tiitle' is merely a lazy kinda judgement. Surely there are far more interestin' and apt adjectives to 'label' a person with?

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