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When You Stop Caring


Knightley
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I've talked about this before but I was unsure about the whole thing. I've been friends with this girl since we were in 8th grade. We're both the same age, we met in 8th grade, and hit it off. We became best friends, and even though we went to different high school, we stayed friends anyway. But ever since we hit college, I don't know what it was, but it seems that we said that we were "friends" when we really weren't.

 

We stopped having things in common, I withdrew out of college after freshman year was done, because of my decision to wait on "god's will." I was pretty much working and involved in xianity. She was in college and doing college things. Anyway, anytime that I needed a ride, she wouldn't give me one, even though we live 10-15 minutes apart. In the past few years I have done all the gift giving in our friendship. Even though she had a good job as a student. I was the one who pretty much tried to keep it going, by calling her up and everything.

 

Well the last straw has come. I am so fucking tired of her being this way towards me, I'm tired of being her "to-go" girl if she needs a favor, because if she needs something the she calls me. We had plans for this summer to go on a trip, then she decided to go on the trip that we had planned with another friend of hers.

 

It pisses me off, that I stayed in this fucking "friendship" longer than I should have. I don't know what it is, but this isn't a friendship. I hate how long I have stayed her friends. A lot of times it was because of our history that I wanted to stay friends with her, I mean we've been friends since 8th grade, and we used to be best friends. I've noticed that I was the one who still called her my "best friend" and she would just nod and stay quiet. She used to tell me all the time that I was her best friend. Ugh.

 

I just don't care anymore. I just can't care anymore. We have history and everything, but it doesn't matter, what's the point? I haven't called her in almost two months now, I'm sick of her, sick of everything. Sick of the "friendship." This experience has also made me realize how a little too eager I am to please friends or potential friends, I am done of being that girl. Eager to please. Ugh.

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Way to go! Friends come and go. Most do not stay around your whole life because it is difficult to continue to have things in common as two people grow. It's natural, though, so try not to feel too bad about it! Plus, when you aren't sitting around waiting on her or doing stuff for her, you might have time to find a new group of friends! Try and just think about the experience you had and the good times, what you got out of it- then move on.

 

But, it does suck when you've known someone so long and it fizzles out :(

 

Hope things start looking up (or around or whatever direction is best...)!

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Knightley, I know you're pretty young..I had a friend in Middle School and through high school and beyond.

We were convinced we'd be "friends forever." Life has a way of changing "our" plans though.

 

Don't take it personally..people grow apart as they grow, like the branches on a tree. Cherish it for what it was..remember it fondly when you are a gramma..

 

I felt the same way when my friendship fizzled. My son was born on her birthday! She picked us up from the hospital. That was 24 years ago..and the last time I saw her was probably 15 years ago. I look back now, remember her on my son's birthday..and move on.

 

You will have many friends and acquaintances through your life..hang in there..

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Good for you Knightley. It was time to kick that user to the curb! She only wanted to be "friends" when she could get something out of you. I think it is wonderful that you are so altruistic. However, there are jerks out there who will try their best to take advantage of that. I know from personal experience, and I won't let it happen again...

 

As far as giving up on "friends" goes...Some "friends" are worth giving up on...

 

I've found that when you grow up you grow apart from people. I am not friends with anyone from Junior High or Highschool. I left them all in the past where they belong. We are all so totally different now.

The irony was that I tried so hard to fit in with all of them, and I realize that their approval is irrelevant now.

 

Peer acceptance is so important during adolescence...But once you leave it it is freeing. I'm 24 now, and it seems like a lifetime since I've seen those people.

 

I recently went to my ten year reunion(I skipped two grades because I hated highschool so much), and all of them are a bunch of old married slobs with children...I have nothing in common with any of them...LOL.

I just caught up on old times, had some drinks, and went home.

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Ah.. "friends".. yeah.... I have 2 friends I met back in 1974... wow, 32 years ago! We were in 10th, 11th & 12th grade at the time, I'm the youngest. We stayed close friends through the college years, and kept in touch all these years, every so often.. through the miles, spouse(s) and lifes changes.

 

If not for the internet we probably would hardly hear from each other.. they're not really "friends" any more... they're just 2 of the many people I knew as a teen and young adult that I still am in touch with, thanks to emails. Those days were cherished for what they were, and it's nice to hear about their life every so often... but "friends" are a "current" thing, otherwise they're just "good memories".

 

 

I guess "friends" are like the song, the gambler.. gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and when to RUN.

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...

 

I recently went to my ten year reunion ....

 

I just caught up on old times, had some drinks, and went home.

 

I ran into someone I went to school with, we knew each other all through the school years, he told me we're having a 30 year reunion this year and there's a lot of them going... I emailed a few who I'd have liked to keep in touch with and catch up with.. but wasn't too impressed by some responses, and more so, a lack of responses. I'll be away camping, with people I've been camping with annually for the last 8 years, I'm not going to go to the reunion in the middle of it all. Just not worth it. Let them stay in the past...

 

 

Funny, just tonight I heard from someone I worked with from 1990 til around 1994.. the last time I saw her was 1995... time sure flies.

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Yeah, people come and go into our lives. I had an interesting run-in recently with someone who was in my kindergarten class and hadn't seen in years. She didn't even know my mother had died. Also, she said she thought I had ADHD or something. It was kindergarten, does she really expect a 5 year-old to sit still the whole time? And if so, what planet is she from?

 

From what I can tell, she's still a fundy. She refuses to use e-mail or computers at all because her ex-hubby had porn on his computer, which is like throwing the baby out with the bathtub because the water got dirty.

 

So in a way, I'm glad I left that friendship behind because we would have very little (if anything) in common.

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I can relate. I've gone from being born-and-bred conservative Mormon to an "almost as reasonably liberal as you get" atheist, and my best friend in high school has never been anything but the former. Speaking to him anymore is almost painful.

 

On the flip side, I've recently come into contact again with another old Mormon friend who I hadn't spoken to in years. Turns out he worked his way out of the church about two years after I did; we've got even more in common now than we did before, we're communicating regularly and making plans to get together and hang out soon.

 

Friendships come, friendships go, and sometimes they come again. About the most you can do is enjoy what you got while you got it. :shrug:

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Ive lost anything that could come close to being called a friendship. A few of my so called friends probobly only see me as a friend becuase Im a fellow fundy in their mind. Yet, Im not.

 

If you ever had something good, I would do what Lizard says. Move on and be glad that you had a friend that gave you at least something to remember.

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I hate how you lose the "edit" button after a while. I ment to say Ive lost the friends I used to have in california. The friends I have in arizona are keepers. :)

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