LosingMyReligion Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I chat on another forum, occasionally, and this fundie woman--whom I didn't know was a fundie at first--sent me a testimony... _____________________________________________________________ Hello LosingMyReligion(not my name on this particular forum), I love your Avatar. Fennec foxes are so adorable. My parents are from the Houston area. It is beautiful out there! I think we met each other for a special reason because God works in mysterious ways. God knew you when you were in your mother’s womb and he called you for a great purpose in life. God has given us all gifts and your gift’s seem to bring joy and kindness into people lives. You are very intelligent and creative it, and truly those are blessings from god. I am a Christian and I know the peace that you are seeking comes from building a relationship with God. Do not feel that you can’t build a relationship with God just because you are gay. God loves everyone and most of all he loves you! It is evident that God loves you because he took time out of his busy day to reach out to you. It appears that you have a loving heart and a receptive spirit. According to the Bible we have all fallen short of meeting the expectations of God. Everyone has broken as least one of the Ten Commandments. Since we all are sinners and have broken the law of God, we are destined to spend all eternity without God. However, God's love for us was so great, that he sent his Son Jesus Christ to the world to die for our sins. Jesus was crucified over 2,000 years ago and he was resurrected from the dead. Jesus took the punishment that we deserve on himself, so he could set us free! We are like criminals being tried for our crimes. But Jesus paid the fine for you and me. He saved us from an eternity without God. You just have to believe that God loves you and that he sent his son Jesus to die for your sins. If you pray to God tell him that you repent of your sins and that you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you will be saved and be a son of God! You will spend eternity in heaven with God after you die. I think that God has a purpose for your life, and everything happens for a reason. The Bible says that God orders our steps. At that very moment God ordered your steps to meet that woman at work, and he ordered your steps to meet your Christian friend! You are right about feeling that you were being tested by an evil entity when that man offered you drugs. Ephesians 6:12 says: For we wrestle not against flesh and blood (humans), but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. This means that there is a spiritual realm where wicked demonic beings are out to deceive people and cause them to fall by the way side. The Bible says that Satan roams around like a lion looking for people to destroy. This man that offered you drugs was just trying to destroy any positive progress that you have made in your life. In the spiritual realm, he also was trying to divert your attention away from seeking God. Just know that anytime God sends his messengers, angels, and good hearted people into your life to promote good things, there will always be a counter action from the realm of darkness. Satan gets joy when he sees someone moving away from the almighty lord Jesus Christ. Don't give up on Jesus Christ because he did not give up on you. When I gave my life to Christ I was the happiest person in the world, but then the enemy (Satan) did every thing in his power to make me fall by the way side. Read Matthew 13. The parable of the sower. So don’t give up on building a relationship with God. The enemy will try to fill your mind with all sorts of fears and guilt to keep you from the presence of God. Do not let anything stop you from building a relationship with Jesus Christ. Nothing can keep God’s love away from you, not your sexuality, or anything else. God opens his arms out to everyone. The only thing that keeps people from God is the fear that they create. I would recommend that you pray to God and accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your Savior. One of the best Bibles on the market is the Life Applications Study Bible. The great thing is that you can buy it at Wal Mart for about 25$. Just remember that God is real, and that you can do all things through Christ! Good Luck and God Bless. _____________________________________ I think that was every single Christian catchphrase rolled into one drawn out, long winded, speech. To make a long story short one of my co-workers asked me if I wanted to smoke weed with him. I said no, I am not into doing drugs. So I was wondering whether or not I should report him to my manager because he has a habit of being hi on the job... So, this Christian lady that I work with--who always tells me that I remind her of her grandson--told me that my mom should be really proud of me. I came out to be such a good boy and etc. She's really nice and I don't hold it against her that she is a Christian. Anyway, it came up in a conversation that I don't believe in Jesus. The lady's entire expression just changed. In fact, it wasn't good enough that I still believe in a god. It is just that I don't believe in HER god. We still talk but she constantly says she is praying for my beautiful soul. The forum is an advice forum and I just needed to vent all of that. I got some good advice, but that fundie e-mail just really burned me up...Then I laughed, because she is so programmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manta Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I especially like the way he/she completely neglected to offer anything which could be regarded proof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnosis of Disbelief Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Looks like it was recycling day at the Babblical Platitudes Institute for Profound Inanity..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Mother Atheist Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Ugh...couldn't read more than a few paragraphs in. It was making me sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted June 16, 2006 Author Share Posted June 16, 2006 I had to laugh when she plugged Walmart, of all places, at the end... Why do fundies believe that your life is a total shamble without Jesus? And do they all read from the same script? The testimonies are ALWAYS the same! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyFeline Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Primus, that whole schpiel reads like one long, droning, monotone Ben Stein speech... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 I had to laugh when she plugged Walmart, of all places, at the end... I work at Wal-Mart and I can tell you right now, it is the bastion of evil. First of all, Sam Walton is a god. He was incapable of committing wrong. He was a genius, an angel, a prophet, and the single greatest entity to ever walk the globe. To criticize Sam Walton is to defy God. When I was first hired, we had to sit through the "unions are EEEEBBBILLLL!!!!" video.....boy, was that fun. One thing I find posted a lot around the back employee area on all the inspirational posters is "Take their money". I'm not being cute or paraphrasing; that is the exact term they print. It's one of four essential steps every associate has to take. The other three involve customer ass-kissing to the point of personal humiliation. I do have to grin devilishly when I consider Wal-Mart's policy of "the customer is the boss". There is absolutely no effort placed on preventing shoplifting here. Even in training we're taught that if a customer has an item that sets off the alarm when they exit the door, it's OUR fault for not checking them out properly; just buzz the item out and that's that. So, Wal-Mart loses millions each year in the stuff stolen from them. Heh-heh-heh....... But the money is most important; you must be sure that every time you speak with a customer about what you sell, they HAVE to make a purchase in the end. Otherwise you've failed the company miserably. Even if you sell them some worthless impotent piece of crap that wasn't even faintly related to what they came in looking for, by all means, get them to buy something, anything. Company loyalty is insane. Every morning we have to "cheer". I am not making this up. We stand around and clap our hands like preschool students and chant about how great Wal-Mart is. We hold little parties for people who've devoted meaningless years to the company and make them talk about their nana's love and how much it reminds them of the love they have for Wal-Mart. As for Christianity and Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart is a fundie paradise. We have every Left Behind movie ever made and every LB book ever printed. Looking for The Bible Game? We have both PS2 and GBA versions! Check out our card department for great Christian greetings! Come to electronics and buy our Christian music! Oh, but don't go looking for a Catholic Bible or Conversations with God in our book department, we don't carry papist or heathen stuff here, sorry. That's also why we edit all our CDs and don't have a section for Marilyn Manson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 I had to laugh when she plugged Walmart, of all places, at the end... Why do fundies believe that your life is a total shamble without Jesus? They believe that your life is a total shamble without Walmart. Where would Jesus shop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 I'm with Zoe on this one. Beware the lovebombing. (It fooled me once, and it was devastating.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I had to laugh when she plugged Walmart, of all places, at the end... I work at Wal-Mart and I can tell you right now, it is the bastion of evil. First of all, Sam Walton is a god. He was incapable of committing wrong. He was a genius, an angel, a prophet, and the single greatest entity to ever walk the globe. To criticize Sam Walton is to defy God. When I was first hired, we had to sit through the "unions are EEEEBBBILLLL!!!!" video.....boy, was that fun. One thing I find posted a lot around the back employee area on all the inspirational posters is "Take their money". I'm not being cute or paraphrasing; that is the exact term they print. It's one of four essential steps every associate has to take. The other three involve customer ass-kissing to the point of personal humiliation. I do have to grin devilishly when I consider Wal-Mart's policy of "the customer is the boss". There is absolutely no effort placed on preventing shoplifting here. Even in training we're taught that if a customer has an item that sets off the alarm when they exit the door, it's OUR fault for not checking them out properly; just buzz the item out and that's that. So, Wal-Mart loses millions each year in the stuff stolen from them. Heh-heh-heh....... But the money is most important; you must be sure that every time you speak with a customer about what you sell, they HAVE to make a purchase in the end. Otherwise you've failed the company miserably. Even if you sell them some worthless impotent piece of crap that wasn't even faintly related to what they came in looking for, by all means, get them to buy something, anything. Company loyalty is insane. Every morning we have to "cheer". I am not making this up. We stand around and clap our hands like preschool students and chant about how great Wal-Mart is. We hold little parties for people who've devoted meaningless years to the company and make them talk about their nana's love and how much it reminds them of the love they have for Wal-Mart. As for Christianity and Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart is a fundie paradise. We have every Left Behind movie ever made and every LB book ever printed. Looking for The Bible Game? We have both PS2 and GBA versions! Check out our card department for great Christian greetings! Come to electronics and buy our Christian music! Oh, but don't go looking for a Catholic Bible or Conversations with God in our book department, we don't carry papist or heathen stuff here, sorry. That's also why we edit all our CDs and don't have a section for Marilyn Manson. I chat on another forum, occasionally, and this fundie woman--whom I didn't know was a fundie at first--sent me a testimony... _____________________________________________________________ Hello LosingMyReligion(not my name on this particular forum), I love your Avatar. Fennec foxes are so adorable. My parents are from the Houston area. It is beautiful out there! I think we met each other for a special reason because God works in mysterious ways. God knew you when you were in your mother’s womb and he called you for a great purpose in life. God has given us all gifts and your gift’s seem to bring joy and kindness into people lives. You are very intelligent and creative it, and truly those are blessings from god. I am a Christian and I know the peace that you are seeking comes from building a relationship with God. Do not feel that you can’t build a relationship with God just because you are gay. God loves everyone and most of all he loves you! It is evident that God loves you because he took time out of his busy day to reach out to you. It appears that you have a loving heart and a receptive spirit. According to the Bible we have all fallen short of meeting the expectations of God. Everyone has broken as least one of the Ten Commandments. Since we all are sinners and have broken the law of God, we are destined to spend all eternity without God. However, God's love for us was so great, that he sent his Son Jesus Christ to the world to die for our sins. Jesus was crucified over 2,000 years ago and he was resurrected from the dead. Jesus took the punishment that we deserve on himself, so he could set us free! We are like criminals being tried for our crimes. But Jesus paid the fine for you and me. He saved us from an eternity without God. You just have to believe that God loves you and that he sent his son Jesus to die for your sins. If you pray to God tell him that you repent of your sins and that you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you will be saved and be a son of God! You will spend eternity in heaven with God after you die. I think that God has a purpose for your life, and everything happens for a reason. The Bible says that God orders our steps. At that very moment God ordered your steps to meet that woman at work, and he ordered your steps to meet your Christian friend! You are right about feeling that you were being tested by an evil entity when that man offered you drugs. Ephesians 6:12 says: For we wrestle not against flesh and blood (humans), but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. This means that there is a spiritual realm where wicked demonic beings are out to deceive people and cause them to fall by the way side. The Bible says that Satan roams around like a lion looking for people to destroy. This man that offered you drugs was just trying to destroy any positive progress that you have made in your life. In the spiritual realm, he also was trying to divert your attention away from seeking God. Just know that anytime God sends his messengers, angels, and good hearted people into your life to promote good things, there will always be a counter action from the realm of darkness. Satan gets joy when he sees someone moving away from the almighty lord Jesus Christ. Don't give up on Jesus Christ because he did not give up on you. When I gave my life to Christ I was the happiest person in the world, but then the enemy (Satan) did every thing in his power to make me fall by the way side. Read Matthew 13. The parable of the sower. So don’t give up on building a relationship with God. The enemy will try to fill your mind with all sorts of fears and guilt to keep you from the presence of God. Do not let anything stop you from building a relationship with Jesus Christ. Nothing can keep God’s love away from you, not your sexuality, or anything else. God opens his arms out to everyone. The only thing that keeps people from God is the fear that they create. I would recommend that you pray to God and accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your Savior. One of the best Bibles on the market is the Life Applications Study Bible. The great thing is that you can buy it at Wal Mart for about 25$. Just remember that God is real, and that you can do all things through Christ! Good Luck and God Bless. _____________________________________ I think that was every single Christian catchphrase rolled into one drawn out, long winded, speech. To make a long story short one of my co-workers asked me if I wanted to smoke weed with him. I said no, I am not into doing drugs. So I was wondering whether or not I should report him to my manager because he has a habit of being hi on the job... So, this Christian lady that I work with--who always tells me that I remind her of her grandson--told me that my mom should be really proud of me. I came out to be such a good boy and etc. She's really nice and I don't hold it against her that she is a Christian. Anyway, it came up in a conversation that I don't believe in Jesus. The lady's entire expression just changed. In fact, it wasn't good enough that I still believe in a god. It is just that I don't believe in HER god. We still talk but she constantly says she is praying for my beautiful soul. The forum is an advice forum and I just needed to vent all of that. I got some good advice, but that fundie e-mail just really burned me up...Then I laughed, because she is so programmed. But Fuckin Wal Mart is the nenearest thing I have to a god!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Primus, that whole schpiel reads like one long, droning, monotone Ben Stein speech... Can anybody tell me if this lady is a fundamentalist nutbag? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Can anybody tell me if this lady is a fundamentalist nutbag? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? But.........but Ben Stein is awesome. Did you ever watch Win Ben Stein's Money? He's the only conservative I have respect for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I love how they always assume that they are the very first people EVER to give this speech to us. Like we could possibly go through life without ever hearing about Jesus, and aren't bombarded with Christian ideal and dogma day after day. And it always starts off simple...just love and accept Jesus and God and everything will be all right. Only after you're hooked do they start in on all the rules and the guilt, which lets you know you're never going to be good enough for Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofspong Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 You gotta admit that Wal-Mart is good...at least for some things. Where else can you get hygeine products so cheap? Well ok, Sams Club...but that place is like a high security military base. (dont have your Sams Club Card? get ready to have a death squad point assault rifles at you) Just never, ever buy music from Wal-Mart, it seems all they carry is the censored versions of the CD's. Also, I hear that being a cashier at Wal-Mart takes a year off ur life span for every week you're there.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 You gotta admit that Wal-Mart is good...at least for some things. Where else can you get hygeine products so cheap? Well ok, Sams Club...but that place is like a high security military base. (dont have your Sams Club Card? get ready to have a death squad point assault rifles at you) Just never, ever buy music from Wal-Mart, it seems all they carry is the censored versions of the CD's. Also, I hear that being a cashier at Wal-Mart takes a year off ur life span for every week you're there.... If there is a devil, Wal-Mart is it. I'll never shop there. Or Sam's Club, because Sam's Club is owned by Wal-Mart. Hiss, spit, I exorcise thee, Wal-Mart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beverly Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 well, e-mail is not so bad what really sucks, is when they get together and do that "laying on of hands" thing or the spiritual warfare thing or the "Sword of the Spirit" thing when that mentality starts to manifest outside of their pointed little heads that really sucks so watch out at work and try not to "get the holy ghost" and if you find yourself being "led of the Lord" tell him to go get a pente and leave you alone Beverly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted June 27, 2006 Author Share Posted June 27, 2006 Hijacking my own thread for a second... Did any of you, when you were fundies, ever do any love bombings or evangelization? Admittedly, I did. I not only sent e-mails expounding upon "Da Good News," but me and my church youth group would travel down to Galveston, during Spring Break, and "witness" to party goers. Oh my god, I cringe when I think about all that stupid shit I said. I should have gone down there and had a few Pina Coladas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 It sounds like this lady is completely and totally brainwashed. At least it's e-mail, and you can report it as spam and block her e-mail addy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Company loyalty is insane. Every morning we have to "cheer". I am not making this up. We stand around and clap our hands like preschool students and chant about how great Wal-Mart is. We hold little parties for people who've devoted meaningless years to the company and make them talk about their nana's love and how much it reminds them of the love they have for Wal-Mart. Typical. Corporate control-freaks who want your undying loyalty but will deny you insurance, realistic raises, dignity, and will fire you at the drop of a hat. It was much the same at (shudder) Kinkos when I used to work there. What genius decided forced company pep rallies would improve loyalty? You want loyalty? Then give us a real job with real job security, real benefits, and a real salary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 I work at Wal-Mart and I can tell you right now, it is the bastion of evil. I *almost* applied there a few years ago when I was looking around for a job. Thank gawd I never did, sounds like I would have slit my wrists a week into getting there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LosingMyReligion Posted June 27, 2006 Author Share Posted June 27, 2006 The Walmart Employees always look so...zoned out....LOL. It's like they have to be deprogrammed from having a personality the moment they clock in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 The Walmart Employees always look so...zoned out....LOL. It's like they have to be deprogrammed from having a personality the moment they clock in. Well it's really hard to get a job here. I was NOT a prime candidate, seeing as I could read, count, understand spoken language, had never been in prison and was not on crystal meth. Seriously though, a lot of the people who work here are great. But it is a box store, and the biggest of box stores, and you can't expect the majority of the employees to be shining examples of genius. Nor the customers. ESPECIALLY the customers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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