"but I'm A Nice Guy!"

[-Demona-]

For the "nice guys" who make phrases like "But I'm a nice guy" their mantra, and constantly whine about not getting laid over the course of many many years, read this. And this. And learn to shut the fuck up about how "nice" you are.

 

That is all.

[HuaiDan]

I say balance and moderation in everything. The people who generally write something like this have spent their bitter little lives wondering why the people they hate are getting laid and not them. Over-reactionary.

Think about it: if you were getting laid, would you spend your time on the internet writing diatribes like this? Would you even care why other people aren't getting laid? I certainly wouldn't. I'd be out getting laid.

 

I mean just look at this neck-beard MF. Doesn't surprise me a bit.

[Guest Shiva H. Vishnu]

I'm a bastard.

[-Demona-]

I think you just misinterpreted the articles entirely, HuaiDan. They're both from guys who've had "nice guys" whine to them about not getting laid. They're not the guys doing the whining about not getting laid.

[HuaiDan]

No, I understand. They're overreactionary. Now that they've "found the secret" and are finally getting some, they have to get online and tell everyone "god I'm so sick of these losers...thank god I NEVER used to be like them."

[Clearview]

No, I understand. They're overreactionary. Now that they've "found the secret" and are finally getting some, they have to get online and tell everyone "god I'm so sick of these losers...thank god I NEVER used to be like them."

 

 

You talk about getting laid an awful lot. Constantly, in fact.

 

 

[HuaiDan]

I mentioned it three times in my first post...isn't that the topic of this thread?

 

After all, I do consider myself to be somewhat of an authority on the topic.

[bob]

I didn't get laid a lot in my younger days. I guess by the time I got married (at 21) I had been with 4 different ladies over the previous 6 years. That was a long time ago (mid-late 70's) and I was a nice guy. I knew guys who were having sex with more women and more frequently than me, but the idea that I had to be an asshole to get more never crossed my mind. Why?...because I was a nice guy. Treating people decently was not a choice for me. I was nice. I could not have pretended to be a bastard, for sex or anything else.

[Thackerie]

... I could not have pretended to be a bastard, for sex or anything else.

 

Good for you! Women who reject nice guys and prefer bastards are immature drama queens and are not fit for relationships anyway. They might be OK for a one-night stand but, really, that only amounts to mutual masturbation and an inantimate object (or whatever's at hand) works just as well for "getting off" but avoids drama and aggravation. In other words, if you ended up with a "nice girl" who can love, appreciate, and respect you for being a decent guy, you certainly didn't miss out on anything.

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

I didn't get laid a lot in my younger days. I guess by the time I got married (at 21) I had been with 4 different ladies over the previous 6 years. That was a long time ago (mid-late 70's) and I was a nice guy. I knew guys who were having sex with more women and more frequently than me, but the idea that I had to be an asshole to get more never crossed my mind. Why?...because I was a nice guy. Treating people decently was not a choice for me. I was nice. I could not have pretended to be a bastard, for sex or anything else.

 

Same goes for me. I'm just a nice guy. I can't do the stupid "be a dick to get a chick" bullshit. If that's the kind of girl she is (likes being treated like shit), she's not the one for me. I like a girl that appreciates being treated like a queen and in turn wants to treat me like a king.

 

I didn't get any action at all in high school. I was a very quiet, introverted, sociophobe. I never complained about it. Oh wait...yes I did. I remember a few times seeing the hottest girl in school being treated like shit by her boyfriend and cry about it. I hate seeing women cry. I told my best friend how she'd never cry again if she was with me.

 

I went in the Navy after high school and finally started hanging around with some major extroverts. That helped me come out a bit, and I started getting some ass. I was occasionally a dick to a girl, but I felt so bad about it all afterward that I just couldn't keep doing it. And when I WAS a dick to the girl, that was the end of the relationship (I ended it).

 

I'm still quiet and relatively introverted, but not as much of a sociophobe any more. I just need lots of alcohol to coax me out of my shell. I've been married (to the wrong woman) and am now in a monogamous relationship with a very good woman, one who likes and appreciates being treated well and likes to treat me well.

 

I hate Tom Lykus.

[white_raven23]

Here's some more stuff on this very thing.

 

"Nice" really isn't.

 

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

Here's some more stuff on this very thing.

 

"Nice" really isn't.

 

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

 

 

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

[-Demona-]

There are some guys who are genuinely nice, and I know that. But "nice" isn't all they are. They have other personality traits that stand out as well.

 

The "nice guys" I was referring to in the starting post are the ones who have the personality of a cardboard cutout and then blame women like me for not finding them interesting. The ones who insist that they're nice, and wonder why I won't go out with them. The ones who say they'll treat me right, acting like my dating them is a foregone conclusion and they're just haggling terms of the sale. As if my affection can be bought. The ones who are completely ungrateful about being friends with me and want to get into my pants wherever, whenever they want.

 

In other words, the ones who say they're nice over and over, but treat women like prostitutes, and echo the false cliche that "nice guys finish last". The guys who all they are is this cloying and utterly fake "niceness". It's them that annoy me.

 

As for genuinely well-mannered guys who'll open doors and pull back chairs, and gives honest respect to the woman he's with? I could use a little more of that.

[white_raven23]

Here's some more stuff on this very thing.

 

"Nice" really isn't.

 

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

 

 

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

 

Which lady? The lady who created the site I referenced? Or me?

 

Because if you want to know the truth, I spent enough years being a "nice" girl....it works both ways. I was insecure, and I allowed myself to be defined by whatever guy I happened to be with. That life-stage is (mostly) over. I realized the total mistake I was making, and getting tromped on as a result.

I can only say mostly over though, because sometimes I catch myself worrying that I will fall for a "jerk" again.

 

I'm certainly not a "bitch" as of yet. I have a few good friends who have been very supportive of my evolution into "my-own-person", and though I still occasionally check, they assure me that I'm not a bitch yet. Which I think is good, because I equate "bitter" with being a bitch......and I don't want to be bitter. Life is too short. There's better things to do.

 

I'm still a bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to the dating scene though. Is it just me, or do a LOT of people equate "second date" with "going steady"? The clinginess is upsetting to me, because I'm still a bit of a wuss about getting guys to cut that out, while at the same time trying not to hurt their feelings.

 

I know somewhere in the back of my mind that guys who do that, get all grabby on a second date, do not deserve to have their feelings spared, but.....old habits die hard. I still catch myself being "nice" in situations where a hand feeling me up in public probably deserves a bigger response.

[Guest Shiva H. Vishnu]

Girls just assuming that I am a bastard (for obvious reasons) and then discovering I'm really a nice guy underneath, has gotten me laid plenty of times. You girls love to try and polish that turd when you see a little corner of a diamond poking out of it. Bless you for it.

[AgnosticBob AtheistPants]

Here's some more stuff on this very thing.

 

"Nice" really isn't.

 

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

 

 

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

 

Which lady? The lady who created the site I referenced? Or me?

 

 

Not you Raven. You haven't given me enough to go on to make an educated decision about you yet.

 

Yeah, the lady that did the site you referenced. She's making blanket judgements about "nice guys" the same way she says "nice guys" make blanket judgements about girls who date jerks. Sure, there are plenty of "nice guys" that are spineless, quivering jellyfish, but there are "nice guys" who stand for what they believe in too. Like I'm a nice guy, and if a girl wants to be treated like shit, she can go find someone to treat her like shit. I'm not doing it. I have no desire to be with someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to demand that others respect them too. It's taken me a while to get to this point, but I'm here now.

[woodsmoke]

For the "nice guys" who make phrases like "But I'm a nice guy" their mantra, and constantly whine about not getting laid over the course of many many years, read this. And this. And learn to shut the fuck up about how "nice" you are.

 

That is all.

 

The first one, I can agree with. It hurts slightly to read it, as I've always been somewhat of a "nice guy" myself--in fact, Agnostic_Atheist pretty well described me in his earlier post describing himself.

 

The second one, however, I take some issue with. The guy seems to label anyone who's not a fierce extrovert with impeccable fashion sense and an interest only in "cool" things as a "nice guy." Being a geek, introverted or enough of an individual to realize you don't have to kowtow to the flighty perceptions of popular culture is not synonimous with being the kind of person described in the first link.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Awwwwww, fuckitall...

 

Was gonna stay outa this thread, but damnnit, my advise, FWIMBW to any of the goddamn nancyboys who GOTTA play like they are *nice* is simply this...

 

I subscribe to the Dirty Harry School of Shit. Simply stated, "A MAN has gotta know his limits"

 

So you want to catch eye of the cool little sweetie down the road, in class, or somewhere you've seen her. How the fuck up and grow some nuts? Look her in the eyys, talk to her, not her goddamn nipples, and for fucks sake, act like you've got a goddamn nutsack.

 

I hate the excuse of "Oh gosh I'm shy" or worse, "She'll say NO!"

 

Fuckin' A, don't go after the girl with bangin' her on the roadside intended.

 

It 'taint hard to try and make conversation. If you can't handle talking to *girls* then guys find someone older and female whom you can have a conversation with and not get tounge tied..

 

Learn damnnit. You want something? Quit being a new_waved_pussy_boy and show some fucking hair and gumption.

 

If alls ya can muster is being able to say is "Hello", its a start.

 

Try it.. Break your self imposed limits. Get out of the mode of *silly little beta male* and learn to expand on your talents, learn something besides little cutsie platitudes and shit_fer_brains_garbage that will turn her off you like stink on teeth...

 

OBTW.. It 'taint cool to look like and smell like you just bailed outa the locker room after a shit eating contest.

Honest sweat and work is OK, but unwashed body and fucked up teeth that need a firehose and sandblasting aint'a gonna cut it.

 

Clean up, look and smell more appealing than a Rottie's ass, and look the lady in her eyes. (you'd fuckin' better remember her name and eye color if you want anything *next*)

 

Got no guarentees, but you won't win if you don't first try..

 

k, one_high_mileaged_old_fuck, L

[Ms. K]

I got really, really tired of guys who were weaselly jackasses trying to get in my pants, and when I said no, whined that it was because they were "Nice Guys" and "Nice Guys" can't get girls.

 

No, it's because they were emotionally blackmailing piece of excrement who didn't deserve my time.

 

Being a genuinely nice person is one thing. Being manipulative in an attempt to get your way with someone else is quite another. And the people that I take exception to are THOSE kinds of "Nice Guys", which is why it's in quotes.

 

I can be, on occasion, a nice person. I won't try to manipulate someone's emotions to get the response I want out of them. Not my way of doing things at all. And it's just a sleazy thing to do.

 

If you're being a spineless jellyfish? You deserve to be walked on. Grow a fucking backbone already!

 

If you're an emotionally manipulative piece of shit? Fuck off and die already. Nobody needs to put up with that kind of bullshit.

 

If you're a genuinely nice person, but have a hard time striking up a conversation with someone you don't know well, or really like? Learn how. The world will not stop for you, believe you me.

[HuaiDan]

Fuckin' A, don't go after the girl with bangin' her on the roadside intended.

 

Wiser words never were spoken. I've always had my greatest success when I wasn't out looking for it, just out to have a good time. When fucking is all you have on you're mind, you probably won't unless you're willing to pay cash for it.

[godlessgrrl]

I think there's a distinction between a nice guy and a Nice Guy™; and it's the latter that Ms. K and EternalDarkness are talking about.

 

Decent male human beings are great. That's not what anybody is objecting to, and it's not what Nice Guys™ are.

 

Decent male human beings are honest, civil, and treat themselves and others with respect. They have good self-esteem and don't blame others for their problems, or make others responsible for fixing them. Sometimes they might act like a jerk, but y'know - everybody has a bad day. It's part of being human.

 

Decent human beings of any gender stripe know that people don't ultimately love you for what you do, but for who you are. And they aren't threatened by that.

 

Yeah, sometimes people do go for genuine assholes, for a lot of very complicated reasons that don't have anything to do with you, or me, or the phase of the moon. Decent human beings know this, too. Decent human beings also know that the world isn't divided into Nice Guys ™, Assholes™, and Women™ - it's not that simple.

 

I don't have much tolerance for Nice Guys™ either. I find them whiny, clingy, immature babies, focused on getting rewarded with sex for their good behavior. I mean jeez, how fucking annoying is that? I have sex if I feel like having it, not if somebody wheedles me out of it. Anybody that reduces sex with me to a matter of bartering is a dickweed anyway. Sex with me isn't a commodity.

 

It's that bartering mentality that lies at the heart of the Nice Guy's™ m.o. That's what's a pain in the ass, because in the end it really isn't much different from what an Asshole™ is out for: getting laid at any cost, and with no real consideration for their partner.

 

Anyway. Some late-night insomniac rambling. Thanks for reading.

[HadouKen24]

I'm a nice guy, but that hasn't kept me from getting laid.

 

No, my introverted, bookish ways have done a fair enough job of that. That, and simple bad luck. Being able to be nice when the situation requires it, is one of the few things I have going for me.

 

Though rumors get back to me that girls have said I have a sexy mind. Alas, my genitals are at the other end of my torso, so I doubt it'll help me much.

[Onyx]

I'd have to be honest on this.

Sometimes I feel and act like the cloying guy.

Most of the time I'm pretty brash and defying the conventions of the days.

But I didn't really think of myself as a "nice guy who deserves sweet love made now to me" (that would make me vomit)

What ever it is, it's simply good old me.

I'm not a namby pamby cardboard kind of person, naturally.

 

I hate and rarely use the word "nice' I associate nice with spineless guys and girls with merely good manners and robotic thoughts.

If I had to describe a superlative thing, it will be with "Awesome' "Fantastic" "Great" "Good" and any other words like that.

If I had to use that word nice, it'd be used sarastically.

 

Anyway, I'm a bit shy, mortified, actually.

The gay situation being what it is and the ambigousness of sexual orientation makes it hard to seduce a guy. I want to tell that guy he's hot to his sexy face but what if he hit me in the face and call down the smack on me?

For this reason, I'm pretty sick of the homophobia and machoism.

I just wish it was easy for me.

For all the problems the females have to face, I wish I was a female sometimes so I can't be laughed at for liking a bit of dey johns. (BTW I'm not a trannie)

 

My conclusion, I'm neither nice ™ or asshole jerk ™ I'm me.

Got a problem with that?

[godlessgrrl]

My conclusion, I'm neither nice ™ or asshole jerk ™ I'm me.

Got a problem with that?

 

Not in the least.

 

I like Decent Human Beings™.

[woodsmoke]

I'm a nice guy, but that hasn't kept me from getting laid.

 

No, my introverted, bookish ways have done a fair enough job of that. That, and simple bad luck. Being able to be nice when the situation requires it, is one of the few things I have going for me.

 

Though rumors get back to me that girls have said I have a sexy mind. Alas, my genitals are at the other end of my torso, so I doubt it'll help me much.

 

Heh, now you're speaking my language. As true for me as for the man who wrote it.

 

That being said, don't discount the compliments to your intelligence. If anything, act on them*. At the least it's an expression of interest, maybe even a subtle invitation; and what have you got to lose? I know through experience, our private, lonely hobbies will always be there for us.

 

*I know, I know; easier said than done doesn't begin to describe it.