It seems that once a month is a good interval for updates.

Life's been good. Yesterday was such a day, if I still believed in God I'd have thanked him for all the nice coincidences. I didn't miss a bus because a garbage truck appeared in its way before it reached the bus stop I was running late to. I've had the flu, and the local pharmacy was offering zinc pills for free because they're great for people with the flu. That kind of thing after another. At some point I noticed the silence in my head. The impulse to thank God is gone, but it's still so fresh a change that I actually notice it's not there.

In other news, I had my blood tested for some genetic disorders, and the tests came back negative. Of course it was negative for those that were searched only, but I had to know about those exact ones, and the rest are so much more rare and don't sound like me that I probably don't have them anyway. So that means I'm not in the group of people who have a hugely heightened risk to have some nasty complications and very sick children. That's very good. Of course those things can happen, but at least the risk is not extra high, you know?

I've also met my facial surgeon. He wants me to see a different psychiatrist to figure out I'm mentally stable enough to go through the years of braces, bite correction surgery, and braces again. I understand, it's for my best, but I do hope I will pass the tests. After all, I've gone through some huge physical problems before and have an idea of how it is when it affects your normal life. I lost my ability to walk some years ago, and got it back by persistently following my physiotherapist's and personal trainer's advice and never doing the things they precisely told me to avoid. These days my muscles know how to keep me in the right positions and I rarely get any leg pain. I can't run or jump, but that's no big deal - the point is I don't have to devote my days to thinking of my legs anymore because I once did so. I suppose it's largely similar with the facial surgery.

Which brings me to my next topic. I've been having a recurring dream of running. In the last dream I ran barefoot in snow and it didn't hurt, in the one before that I ran into a lake and started seeing the dream backwards in the dream-me's mind's eye, decided I didn't want to die, and got out. There have been other running dreams too. I don't know why. The dreams always feel good and I can go much faster than I could even before my legs got really bad. It's odd, I've had more experience of dreams where I become catatonic and just watch the dream, unable to do a thing myself.

Maybe I'm looking forward to a (the?) day when I can run again.