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Oh god no, don’t encourage him…

Wow thats cold. I have to say. I have had a few of the ministers from the gospel assembly that I was close to contact me over the years. One of which unfortunately is seeing things but still trying to believe the Bible is true. To the point he is getting sucked in to the flat earth fanatics. Its sad honestly.    But I guess they gotta get kudos for atleast checking in from time to time and try to "win me back to the lord". It was honestly like a real life lions den debate one time. But he's a good guy. Just brainwashed. 

Good one prof, thanks for making me laugh. It's little things like this that brightens ones day. 

This would not have been a likely scenario.  I kept my struggles more or less to myself.  Keep in mind, in my church, behavior was paramount.  The correlation to that was "keeping up the image".  I appeared to be just as strong and determined in my faith as ever until the very last moment, at which point I simply disappeared from the church altogether.  I've only ever set foot in the church 2 or 3 times since then.   Of course, not a single person from the church ever once reached out to me once I left.  You know, like jesus would have done.  Not even the men in the ministries I was involved in.  Everybody just seemed to accept that I was there one Sunday and then never seen or heard from again.

When this happened did the church already know you were losing faith? I kind of wonder what he was going to say. I imagine that if the pastor gave him a heads up about your troubles with the faith that he probably would have given you a "message from God" to sway you in what he felt was the "right" direction.    I really like what you had to say to him tho. That really stopped him in his tracks lol.        There were a couple times that I felt there God gave me something to tell an individual. One time it was when my wife and I first met. She had been through a bad relationship. And she was still hurt. And I felt that she was walking in darkness and having a hard time finding her way out but that God was going to make a way.    But I knew what she was going through. So that wasn't really a prophesy. But I felt compelled to tell her that. Like you said. I was just kind of reading her by her actions and knew she was having trouble. So really it was just me giving her some words of encouragement. Not really a "message from God". But I didn't see it that way then.    DB

Myrkhoos,   Thanks once more for the insights into how the EO church functions.  In can truly say that I'm bemused and mystified by what you describe.  As I mentioned before, should and EO Christian arrive here I will probably step well back and not engage them in debate.  Their brand of Christianity is so far removed from what I've experienced as to be an 'alien language'.   Thank you,   Walter. 

Of course you don't think this is true Ed. You don't follow the Bible to the letter. There are rules and descriptions of how a Christian should present themselves to the world as believers.      Your belief seems to be based more on feelings than the letter of the law so to say. I stated before if I had a lax interpretation of the Bible as you do, being a Christian and dealing with biblical fallacies wouldn't have been much of an issue for me. And that's good for you Ed because that allows you to live your life as you see fit without worrying about the danger of going to Hell.      But if I were still a Christian lurking on this site. And I came across the lions den and saw how you spoke sometimes. And how you believe. I would call you a luke warm Christian. And I would lump you in the category of one of those that God will spue from his mouth in the judgment.    Rev. Ch. 3 15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. 16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. 17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: 18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.   Or that Jesus would tell you to depart.   Matt. Ch 7 21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.   I'm not trying to tell you that you need to live differently. Im glad you have a lax stance on biblical rules and regulations. I put myself through hell at times trying to make sure I was going to get into heaven. (Pun intended 😆) The bottom line is your belief allows you to live. Mine didn't. Try to be in a church that thinks you need to be sinless after salvation. And then start studying everything that can be a sin or send you to hell. Its like walking on egg shells.   The ones I've seen come here that are probably true Christians don't last long. They try to re-convert us with whatever hair brained revelation they have seen in the bible. And when that doesn't work they leave. To continue living in their emotional/faith driven delusion of life.    DB    

@austinrohm that is a very high commitment church from the way you describe it.  I would be very anxious in a setting like that because there is no way for a non-believer to take a quiet corner and just be there to support their believing spouse. It sounds like your wife is still hopeful that you will return to becoming a committed believer too.  It might be kinder to give her a clear answer and tell her that you don’t believe anymore and cannot attend the church any longer in pretence.     She will be really upset I am sure but her faith and her children’s faith cannot be built on what you do.  She has to develop her own independent faith and a sense of self respect that is not based on your standing.  No one gets married with an absolute assurance that their spouses will always believe or that life will be perfect.  Reassure her that you are committed to the marriage but won’t be pretending you are someone you are not, including to the children.  At least she already knows that you have doubts and will not be totally blindsided.   Hopefully, things will eventually settle down again once she comes to terms with the  disappointment.  Honestly, the anxiety of not believing anymore but not yet out is worse than the fallout when you take the courage to step away.  I hope that your marriage will survive this difficult time.  It’s unfortunately possible that it won’t.