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Yes!!!   And do follow the link to the Guardian article that's in the piece linked to above. It's a great story.

Don't tell them you are going. Sign up for a creative writing class at the local J.C. (you're a good writer) and thus you'll qualify for the campus counseling center.

Hi Casual:   Your situation certainly sucks. You have been very strong in spite of being beaten upon emotionally but it still hurts. Weezer mentions an outside person who can listen and make suggestions on strategies toward some relief. Do give that some thought. Many of us have found it valuable and worthwhile.   And, of course, we are always here for you.

Casual, this is about personal stuff, so I am taking this to PM.

The Taliban have been condemned around the world as one of the most brutal and repressive regimes, inflicting a strict form of Shria law that has resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands and the loss of most civil rights.  The thought occurs, how different is the theocratic government of the Taliban from the biblical Jewish and Christian groups? The Taliban don't allow women to be uncovered, to teach, to work (barring providing other women healthcare) or to be out of their home unless escorted by a male relative.  This misogyny seems pretty extreme, but then when you compare it to the biblical teachings including women being covered, not teaching, having no authority, having no consent or choice and being valued less than men, there are a lot of parallels.   The Taliban kill gays, unbelievers or believers in other religions, as well as anyone they deem breaching public sensibility or committing blasphemy.  The bible tells us to kill gays, unbelievers, believers in other religions and lays out plenty of capital punishment crimes including victimless crimes and even thought crimes.  You could easily get to the same legal setting as the Taliban.   The Taliban have killed thousands once they took control, while Christian on Christian killing throughout Europe's history was constant.  The Taliban destroyed libraries, museums and thousands of ancient relics, while Christians destroyed Islamic temples, melted down holy symbols and destroyed anything "blasphemous".  Inquisitions and witch trials would not have been possible without the rulers being fully onboard with the church killing for any reason they deemed against God.     Even just imagining Jesus and the 12 disciples, these would have been middle eastern looking men, bearded, speaking regional languages and wearing the same flowing robes that people from desert regions wear.  They would have looked exactly like the Islamic people today, and nothing like any European person would picture in their mind.   Christians are willing to die for their God as they are so convinced they are correct, the Taliban are exactly the same, absolutely convinced they are correct.  It's all taught behaviour, but I would suggest that that same taught behaviour was the norm 2000 years ago, and in appearance, laws and attitude I doubt we would see any great difference between those we now condemn as horrific, and those the bible holds up as God's chosen people, lead to greatness by His word.

I just responded to it, but I would much rather get away from the parents before anything therapy related so they somehow don't weaponize me trying to heal against me lol

I've considered it, but I think a big part of my problems stems from all the pressure from my parents to basically be someone I'm not, which is taking a gigantic toll on my mental health. I'm just like, coping the best I can right now. I don't want to self-diagnose myself. I just go through periods of rumination and negative thoughts like any totally normal person ever!    Okay, but I'm gonna be honest, unless I get some like real long-term physical distance from family, no amount of professional help is gonna fix things if I'm constantly returning to the same environment that enables my toxic behaviors/thoughts. Hopefully this doesn't come across as some dumb excuse, but so far my biggest hurdle when trying to improve myself has been my parents, and myself, but parents are a pretty big reason as to why. My parents have been trying extra hard to hold onto that parent-child dynamic as of late, especially with sex trafficking apparently being on the rise, which could be true. But again, this feels really overbearing and helicopter parent-y and I'm not really coping well with it because it just keeps happening and I want to have a normal life and a shot at making friends no matter how paranoid my parents are.

Have you seen my post in your other thread?

Mostly emotionally I'm like kinda down. Idk much about physically, unless self-isolating to preserve my mental health counts as physical stuff, but I'm trying to get out with friends, which sort of works. It's a process.

Have you considered that you may be suffering from depression??  Get an appointment with a mental health professional, and tell them what you have told us!!