A forum to discuss how ex-Christians have dealt with family members, replaced the church as a place of community, reactions of your family, friends, church, acquaintances upon learning of the de-conversion, or anything else relevant to the Ex-Christian Life.
The bulk of science does not support belief in a deity, or does it? This is an open discussion area to hone your skills at supporting and understanding the various positions. Feel free to post any links of value in this important topic.
This section is confined to serious and formal debate. New topics will not appear in this section until approved by a moderator. For best results, contact a moderator before attempting to post a new topic in this section.
Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon. - Winston Churchill
Thanks, that's good to hear! I will be patient. I am prepared to be in therapy for as long as it takes, and I expect that afterwards it will still go on. Good to know that you have made such progress, that gives me hope!
Yes, I do feel much safer now. I have a nice place to live, I have a good job (so I can afford a therapist), I am completely independent from my parents and have a good network of friends. I can afford to face this now. This forum is also great, it's good to write my thoughts and questions down and to read what you all write, and I find it inspiring. A post such as yours really helps me, so thanks for taking the time to write it!
I am going pretty far outside of my comfort zone right now, once I see that something is important I can be quite bold and push myself there. But the challenge then is to create a 'habitable order' in the chaos that I confront, to use Jordan Peterson's words, meaning that I find it challenging to actually become comfortable and confident with a new mode of acting. I am the warrior type, always willing to fight for what's good, but never finding rest. My new innovation is actually to carry a comfortable shell to retreat in every now and then!
By this I mean that I am learning to take my own needs seriously, and to love and respect myself. Even after 5 years I now discovered that I still viewed myself as worthless and bad, and that my role was to save the world and to make other people's lives better. I am so happy that I let go of that.
Perhaps the fighting mode was my comfort zone. I was being busy all the time, which prevented me from feeling and thinking about all of this mess inside of me. Now (thanks to my ex-date; to be honest I am quite grateful for it, even though it is hard) Pandora's box has been opened, all of this mess is out and I no longer can pretend like nothing is wrong. Confronting this is quite painful. I try not to approach this with my warrior mindset, but more in a calm way. It's strange territory to be in, for sure.
I have no idea! I see no proof of extraterrestrials, gods, spirits, or any of the other usual suspects that may possess 'higher consciousness'. Therefore, I do not believe it.
You see people believing in all sorts of strange beings for the reason that they 'feel' like these exist, or that they have had an 'experience'. Therefore, this is not an argument for me. Apparently the human brain can produce a broad range of emotional and mental phenomena and people are easily fooled to believe that these experiences must be related to the religion they happened to belong to.
You know I just want to say that I find it fascinating to see people still believe and argue for the same strange points that I used to argue for. I don't mean this to offend, but it really sends the shivers down my spine when I encounter people like this. In a way I want to save them from their ignorance, I really feel it's sad to see people like this, on the other I really dislike wasting any more time on religion and I want to focus my energies on building my character and a beautiful life, which has already been delayed long enough because of me spending a lot of time and energy on this imaginary scheme that I have been manipulated into as an innocent kid.
I don't know why I wrote this. Just saying that I respect anyone who is willing to spend time discussing these things, I don't have the patience anymore, it's too sensitive for me. And I also love my religious fellow humans. And I understand you, having been there. I hope many make it out, but I prefer that you are happy and good people, which has little to do with religion.