Jump to content


Photo

Letter From Joyce Meyer


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
29 replies to this topic

#21 blackpudd1n

blackpudd1n

    Mother of all Pudd

  • ★ Gold Patron ★
  • 4,598 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:The east coast of Australia, in the state of NSW :)
  • Interests:Cats. Particularly two, called Bruce and Wednesday :P Feminism. Learning. Honesty. Heavy Metal. Doc Martens. Reading. Talking. Mental health issues. Daria.
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :Atheist and proud :)

Posted 27 March 2012 - 01:34 PM

Hmm, I had 3 "likes" and they have disappeared. I'm worried I may have offended someone with my post or broken a rule, so I'm removing it. Maybe I should move it to the sex forum. Posted Image


Hey 2H,

I lost the ability to see reputation points days ago. No-one's posts have any points, even when I add one, the next time I come back to the thread, any points I've given are gone. I can't see my own points, either. It's very sad, living in a points-less world.

It's a forum issue :)
  • 1

"He believed to the end exactly the same things he started with. It seems to me that a man who can think straight along for forty-seven years without changing a single idea ought to be kept in a cabinet as a curiosity."- Jean Webster


Support Ex-C

Keeping this site online isn't free, so we need your support! Make a one-time donation using the "Donate" button above, or click here to choose one of the recurrent patron options.

#22 2Honest

2Honest

    Skeptic

  • Regular Member
  • 430 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Texas
  • Interests:writing, reading, learning, family, campfires, creative expression, music, good food, yoga
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :Bazinga!

Posted 27 March 2012 - 04:58 PM

*
POPULAR


Hmm, I had 3 "likes" and they have disappeared. I'm worried I may have offended someone with my post or broken a rule, so I'm removing it. Maybe I should move it to the sex forum. Posted Image


2Honest, I think there is something wrong with the system, because all my "likes" on all my posts have disappeared. If you notice, your reputation points are not affected and if you click the 0 (zero) next to your post, you will see that you now have 4 "likes". Now put your post back Posted Image


Oh ok, cool! I'm glad I didn't offend anyone. I was kinda shocked if that was the case - didn't think the people around here were such prudes. ;) Here's my original post....






Ok, here's my "revised" version of your letter. (I may have too much time on my hands.)



Dear Treasured Friend,

My aren't you looking sexy today!

What makes you the kind of person who glorifies God is living a life marked by nipple rings and a nice badunkadunk.

You can read your Bible all day long, but until you actually start shakin’ that ass, it won't make any difference in your life.

God has given you "all things", plus a life of workin’ that body!

What is “workin’ that body”? It simply means to go the extra mile, to exceed the requirements. It's always so refreshing to be around someone who's hot and easy -- they're constantly surprising you through over-delivering.

You might be thinking, Joyce, I don't know if I've got what it takes to live that way. I understand if that's what you're thinking, but you must remember it's not about what you can do on your own (I mean really, what fun is that?!) -- it's about a willing heart that's open to degrading yourself by doing it with anything that breathes! The promise is, God will never ask you to do something He hasn't already given you the ability to do. And what he wants you to do is have a 3-way with me and Dave! That’s right! Don’t let this fantastic opportunity pass you by!

Dave’s dick is so small when no one else is watching. I’m waiting for something BIG to happen, so please start right now by giving your best! Come on, back that thang up! If you do the best with what you have, you can be confident God will give you more. More! More! Yes! More! That's a promise you can stand on in His Word.

Dave and I experienced the incredible power of a 3-way in the past and can attest to its life-changing, bed-shaking benefits! You can find this power, too! God is making it available to you today! We have a very “special” way of saying thank you for your response to our invitation (it may involve whips and chains, but shhh don’t tell anyone!)

In addition, if you agree to try some of our favorite positions, we'll send you the Sex Toy Superpack, Sodomy, 3-Ways for Dummies, plus my daily Kama Sutra cards.

Dave and I are so grateful for you and believe a renewed commitment to some kinky and twisted banging with a couple of old shriveled fundies will bring great and rewarding promise to your life!

Your faithfulness and generosity glorify God...

As a teacher and as a sister in Christ (a little incest turns me on!), I urge you today to do the best with what God's given you, and I promise God will help you accomplish all that you can't do in your own strength. It’s like holy Viagra!

When you live this way, you show the world a higher level of living and there's no limit to what God can do in AND through your life! So come on, baby – back that thang up!

Doing all things (and we mean ALL!) in the power of Christ,

Dave and Joyce Meyer
  • 11
Fundamentalism makes people crazy. It is a mixture of beliefs that do not make sense, causing the brain to keep trying to understand what cannot be logical. - Marlene Winell

#23 Denyoz

Denyoz

    Mental Transmuter

  • ☆ Silver Patron ☆
  • 955 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Québec, Canada
  • Interests:Metaphysics
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :The All

Posted 27 March 2012 - 05:36 PM



Hmm, I had 3 "likes" and they have disappeared. I'm worried I may have offended someone with my post or broken a rule, so I'm removing it. Maybe I should move it to the sex forum. Posted Image


2Honest, I think there is something wrong with the system, because all my "likes" on all my posts have disappeared. If you notice, your reputation points are not affected and if you click the 0 (zero) next to your post, you will see that you now have 4 "likes". Now put your post back Posted Image

Oh ok, cool! I'm glad I didn't offend anyone. I was kinda shocked if that was the case - didn't think the people around here were such prudes. Posted Image Here's my original post....


Actually, I was surprised when I first read it, didn't think you had this kind of language in you. But that's what makes it even more funny! I give you one more point for reposting it.

So... in your story, I'm the guy with the big dick, right? (say yes and I give you an extra point)
  • 0
Let's evolve.

#24 mymistake

mymistake

    might be the Antichrist

  • Regular Member
  • 11,054 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Interests:family, support, meditation, peace of mind, moving on as forgiveness, deprograming, laughing at the Bible
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :"I enjoy mythology but I'm not religious about it"

Posted 27 March 2012 - 05:56 PM

I once bought a book from Joyce Meyer Ministries and ever since then, I receive requests for money from her. Today, I received a two-page letter, too long to rewrite, so I give you my shortened version:

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Deny,

Blah blah blah bullcrap...

The Lord spoke to me and told me to tell you what to do.


Let me guess. It was not a hand written note. It was typed out my a machine. Looks like somebody over and JM ministries doesn't have a problem with bearing false witness. It's only one of the Ten Commandments. Then again a lot of the con artists are unbelievers. They don't drink the kool aid. That stuff is for the marks.
  • 0

/\/\.  /\/\.

There's an elegant solution to most Bible problems.  The Bible is the word of ignorant men who couldn't agree with each other.


#25 florduh

florduh

    Not Right in the Head

  • Super Moderator
  • 15,263 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:St. Pete, Florduh
  • Interests:Food.
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :my doG

Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:14 PM

Hmm, I had 3 "likes" and they have disappeared.

You're not alone. I have a theory, but it's probably just coincidence after all...



House: "So, you're a faith healer. Or is that a pejorative? Do you prefer something like "divine health management"?"


#26 Deva

Deva

    Heathen

  • Moderator
  • 8,541 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Florida
  • Interests:Birding, art, reading, keeping salamanders, reptiles, giant millipedes and plants; cooking, and cultivating a good heart.
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :None

Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:15 PM

Joyce Meyer, the prosperity gospel bullshitter par excellence!! I stand amazed that anyone would think this woman is worth the time of day. Yet, I see contrary evidence on Facebook!

Some folks need a cheerleader, and she is it - except she really just wants your money.

2Honest - I am not normally one who applauds sexual imagery, but I have seen much worse on this site, and actually it is fully justified considering the subject. There are not strong enough words to condemn these religious charlatans who live a wealthy lifestyle at the expense of poor people.
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”― Albert Camus "All my life people have been working to enslave me, but all I ever wanted to be was an eagle flying in a clear blue sky" - Deva

#27 Positivist

Positivist

    Dog Is My Co-Pilot

  • Regular Member
  • 1,905 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Interests:Ecocentrism, animal welfare, environmentalism, music, good food, good friends.
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :Be good.

Posted 27 March 2012 - 08:03 PM

{Dave and Joyce Meyer's Horny As Hell Ministries letter}

LOL!!! Love it! I "liked" it and you have 7 likes! I hope they stay!

Speaking of doing "all" things, maybe you could flex that pen of yours in the direction of Christian erotica novels! Clearly, you have the talent! You could have the main character a "Joy Smeyer" and all kinds of crazy shit could go on. Not sure if the 3-ways-for-Jesus etc. should happen before or after they get "saved", though..... Posted Image
  • 1

POSITIVISM
A belief system or philosophical orientation that is realist in its ontology, objectivist in its epistemology, and empirical in its methodology.
FOLLOW THE EVIDENCE


#28 NeverAgainV

NeverAgainV

    only human

  • ☆ Silver Patron ☆
  • 798 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Midwest
  • Interests:Art, Movies & Music. NPR. 1970's & 80's. Comic books & graphic novels. Learning how cults manipulate & thought reform.
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :Love? I hope there's more than this..

Posted 27 March 2012 - 11:57 PM



Dear Joyce,
What the hell's wrong with your face?

She accidentally hit herself with her bible Posted Image


I've seen that smile before...

Joyce

Oh here it is:

Joker


That's just too scary!!Posted Image Posted Image
  • 0
That plain little turtle below in the stack, That plain little turtle whose name was just Mack,
Decided he’d taken enough. And he had. And that plain little lad got a bit mad.
Dr. Seuss - Yertle the Turtle
http://tossandripple.blogspot.com/2011/11/yertle-turtle-by-dr-suess.html
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr. Seuss

#29 2Honest

2Honest

    Skeptic

  • Regular Member
  • 430 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Texas
  • Interests:writing, reading, learning, family, campfires, creative expression, music, good food, yoga
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :Bazinga!

Posted 28 March 2012 - 11:13 AM

Actually, I was surprised when I first read it, didn't think you had this kind of language in you. But that's what makes it even more funny! I give you one more point for reposting it.

So... in your story, I'm the guy with the big dick, right? (say yes and I give you an extra point)


Haha yeah, it was fun tapping in to my "evil side". Muwahahaha

As far as who had the big dick - well, my points still aren't working so I'll just leave that one alone. Posted Image


2Honest - I am not normally one who applauds sexual imagery, but I have seen much worse on this site, and actually it is fully justified considering the subject. There are not strong enough words to condemn these religious charlatans who live a wealthy lifestyle at the expense of poor people.


Thanks, Deva. It was actually cathartic writing it. This letter really hit a nerve for me, I guess. What I wrote was just a joke, but it was also symbolic in a way. These people take advantage of others and "screw them in the ass" and it makes me ill.



LOL!!! Love it! I "liked" it and you have 7 likes! I hope they stay!

Speaking of doing "all" things, maybe you could flex that pen of yours in the direction of Christian erotica novels! Clearly, you have the talent! You could have the main character a "Joy Smeyer" and all kinds of crazy shit could go on. Not sure if the 3-ways-for-Jesus etc. should happen before or after they get "saved", though..... Posted Image


The points didn't stay! Oh well...

I'm taking this as a prophetic word about my purpose and destiny in life! I'm gonna go get started on those novels right now! hehe

Edited by 2Honest, 28 March 2012 - 11:13 AM.

  • 0
Fundamentalism makes people crazy. It is a mixture of beliefs that do not make sense, causing the brain to keep trying to understand what cannot be logical. - Marlene Winell

#30 LivingLife

LivingLife

    Meet Harvey, my imaginary friend...

  • Regular Member
  • 2,553 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:South Africa
  • Interests:Discussing religion with woo woos I suppose discussions not the word rather showing them teh errorz ov their wayz
  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what? :FSM

Posted 28 March 2012 - 11:24 AM

The points didn't stay! Oh well...

They are there, it reflects "0" (a bug in the new software perhaps) but if you click on the zero you can see you have 9 reps and who gave them to you.
  • 0
Cold is the lack of heat, darkness is the lack of light, atheism is the lack of ignorance


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users