Hmm, I had 3 "likes" and they have disappeared. I'm worried I may have offended someone with my post or broken a rule, so I'm removing it. Maybe I should move it to the sex forum.
2Honest, I think there is something wrong with the system, because all my "likes" on all my posts have disappeared. If you notice, your reputation points are not affected and if you click the 0 (zero) next to your post, you will see that you now have 4 "likes". Now put your post back
Oh ok, cool! I'm glad I didn't offend anyone. I was kinda shocked if that was the case - didn't think the people around here were such prudes.
Here's my original post....
Ok, here's my "revised" version of your letter. (I may have too much time on my hands.)
Dear Treasured Friend,
My aren't you looking sexy today!
What makes you the kind of person who glorifies God is living a life marked by nipple rings
and a nice badunkadunk
You can read your Bible all day long, but until you actually start shakin’ that ass, it won't make any difference in your life.
God has given you "all things", plus a life of workin’ that body!
What is “workin’ that body”? It simply means to go the extra mile, to exceed the requirements. It's always so refreshing to be around someone who's hot and easy -- they're constantly surprising you through over-delivering.
You might be thinking, Joyce, I don't know if I've got what it takes to live that way.
I understand if that's what you're thinking, but you must remember it's not about what you can do on your own (I mean really, what fun is that?!) -- it's about a willing heart that's open to degrading yourself by doing it with anything that breathes! The promise is, God will never ask you to do something He hasn't already given you the ability to do. And what he wants you to do is have a 3-way with me and Dave! That’s right! Don’t let this fantastic opportunity pass you by!
Dave’s dick is so small when no one else is watching. I’m waiting for something BIG to happen, so please start right now by giving your best! Come on, back that thang up! If you do the best with what you have, you can be confident God will give you more. More! More! Yes! More! That's a promise you can stand on in His Word.
Dave and I experienced the incredible power of a 3-way in the past and can attest to its life-changing, bed-shaking benefits! You can find this power, too! God is making it available to you today! We have a very “special” way of saying thank you for your response to our invitation (it may involve whips and chains, but shhh don’t tell anyone!)
In addition, if you agree to try some of our favorite positions, we'll send you the Sex Toy Superpack
, 3-Ways for Dummies
, plus my daily Kama Sutra cards.
Dave and I are so grateful for you and believe a renewed commitment to some kinky and twisted banging with a couple of old shriveled fundies will bring great and rewarding promise to your life!
Your faithfulness and generosity glorify God...
As a teacher and as a sister in Christ (a little incest turns me on!), I urge you today to do the best with what God's given you, and I promise God will help you accomplish all that you can't do in your own strength. It’s like holy Viagra!
When you live this way, you show the world a higher level of living and there's no limit to what God can do in AND through your life! So come on, baby – back that thang up!
Doing all things (and we mean ALL!) in the power of Christ,
Dave and Joyce Meyer