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Goodbye Jesus

Here Again


bird28

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I was active on this forum a few years ago. I grew up in a fundie church but going to college in the sciences lead to a long journey here. But... A Christian man was interested in me and he went to a fundie church and I went back to the church and even married the guy (though he actually is more liberal than the church he goes to) now I am having serious doubts about religion again and now I'm married to someone that does not like those doubts... We have a good relationship but now I'm scared of ripping it apart.

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Welcome back.

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Welcome back, bird!

 

I hope you are able to work things out with your husband if your renewed doubts about Christianity grow and become more important to you. My only advice is to wait making any announcements to your husband about your view of Christianity until you have fully come to terms with it in your own mind. Maybe I'm wrong, but you sound a little lukewarm on the issue right now.

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Being unequally yoked is a bummer. I am fortunate that I was able to convince my wife to leave her fundamentalist roots & join a liberal version of Christianty. I was also fortunate enough to convince her the Bible isn't literally or historically true. I think church has become mostly a social thing for her now & I can deal with that.

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I already told him I was searching for the truth. He said "read the Bible front to back" then I said " I learned in college the earth is much older than the Bible says and all the animals could not have fit on the ark" he basically said he didn't know about that stuff and went quiet.

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Oh, and he ignores parts of the Bible he doesn't like, for example the parts about fornication being wrong, our relationship started with him getting in my pants, so I thought he probably wasn't a very serious Christian.

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My advice is to try not to focus on proving him wrong. As long as he doesn't interfere with what you believe, let him believe what he wants. If he's a liberal Christian, then you probably won't have too many issues.

 

My parents and siblings are all fundamentalists. I never bring up religion with them. If they bring it up, I will discuss it happily, but I do not broach the topic. It isn't worth the strife. My wife, on the other hand, is only nominally a Christian. She doesn't practice, but she does claim to have some sort of faith. It comforts her, and it doesn't bother me, so I don't try to dissuade her from her beliefs.

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A History of God, is an excellent book by Dr. Karen Armstrong. She is a former Nun. The book doesn't attack religion it simply presents the historical beginnings & evolution of the major religions that worship "God". It's an interesting read & very informative. She also writes to the general public rather than to other academics.

 

He might find such a book interesting if presented as a way to understand Christianity better. Just something to consider.

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I'm too bold sometimes, I asked him what would he do if I didn't believe anymore and he said he would stop talking to me...I thought he would be more tolerant. This is a pretty bad situation to be in :(

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I'm too bold sometimes, I asked him what would he do if I didn't believe anymore and he said he would stop talking to me...I thought he would be more tolerant. This is a pretty bad situation to be in sad.png

 

 

So your husband loves his imaginary friend more than he loves his wife.  I've met people who are like that.  Maybe you should cut your losses?  It's your life so it's up to you how much crap you are willing to put up with.  You deserve respect.

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Now he's saying I misunderstood him when I questioned him again... Now he's saying I should believe what I want... Just don't change him

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I'm sorry, that is a difficult situation to be in. If you stop going to church and joining in prayer will he be okay with that?

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Now he's saying I misunderstood him when I questioned him again... Now he's saying I should believe what I want... Just don't change him

 

 

Maybe he had time to think things over.  

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