Non-Traditional Weddings

[Orbit]

Has anyone else done a "spiritual-but-not-religious" wedding ceremony? What did you do? I'm getting married in May to a likeminded man and wondered what others have done.

[Eugene39]

Not sure if this will help answer your question or not. It was not my wedding, but last fall, I was privileged to attend a pagan hand-fasting. It started with "closing the circle" to each of the directions, then there was something about air, fire, water and earth. They did their vows and a ritual with a cord. Then they "opened the circle" at the end. It was really neat and is the only wedding that I've ever attended that didn't have something about the Father, Son and Holy Ghost; vows forever before God, blah, blah, blah. 

[Margee]

Congratulations Orbit! I am so happy for you!

 

My girl just got engaged and is already in the planning stage. Watching her is so much fun. I hope you enjoy every minute planning your own wedding! She  personally justs wants a big party to celebrate. She picked The Holiday Inn to be married and have reception She is my sister's daughter, but I brought her up from age 14. She is going to get married on my sisters birthday this fall. No preacher at all. Just a justice of the Peace. But she wants the whole princess thing. Lol The white wedding dress, the cinderella shoes, maid of honor etc.... She is having a 'stand up' eating type of buffet...But no church for her....she heard me talk too much and formed her own beliefs.

 

I'm so happy for you! I wish you the very best. Have lots of fun planning hon! Let us know how it's going? ((hug))

 

[Deidre]

This might be a helpful read, Orbit. Congrats to you!!

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-johnson/how-to-create-a-spiritual_b_2951011.html

[older]

I wasn't cleared to post here so I sent this to Orbit via a p.m. Now that I'm cleared, I'll post this here for others who may be interested.

When my sister got married I got one of those on-line ordinations to some fake church For a fee, they'll give you any title or certificate (suitable for framing!) you want. Since then I have done four weddings. Below are the vows that were used for one of them. The main idea is that the couple is making a pledge to each other, not following some deity or spirit, or trite script, and that this pledge is confirmed and supported by all those who are there to witness it, not just some dude in a robe. (Also, IMHO, while light heartedness is fine, such a ceremony should be taken seriously and not be turned into a circus clown act.)

I've removed the names and inserted blank lines. Feel free to use all, part, or just the ideas.

-----------------


________ and ________ have asked us to be here to witness their union in marriage. And we will offer our love to them on the first day of the many happy days they will spend together as husband and wife.

We recognize that marriage is a sacred compact, entered into with purity of heart and spirit. ______ and ______ are here today to pledge their love for each other and to affirm their commitment to honor and cherish their life together.

Most of the valuable things in life have to be worked for, and that includes a strong marriage. After 23 terrific years of marriage, I’d like to offer you a bit of advice.

• Grow together, not apart.
• But at the same time, allow each other the freedom to grow and be an individual.
• Learn the art of compromise. Be flexible and patient.
• Don’t expect perfection from each other.
• Never go to sleep angry.
• Be friends as well as lovers.
• Love your spouse even if your spouse can’t love you back.
Love is not conditional.
• Save time for each other as well as yourself.
• Have sense of humor. Laugh together. Be silly too.
• Finally, say “I love you” at least once each day.


________, are you ready to make a pledge to this man?

[woman makes pledge]

________, what is your pledge to this woman?

[man makes pledge]

Friends and family, let us commit ourselves to support this man and this woman as they endeavor to build a new life between them.

Let us help them prevail in what is often the most difficult of life’s tasks: to create a bond, a home, a family where love and faith are the abiding principles and serve as a haven against an often chaotic and indifferent world.

Today is a day of gratitude, faith and courage. Gratitude to the mercy of the currents that brought these two people together, faith that their union will always be a source of comfort and joy to them and to all who know and love them, and courage in the recognition that today is only the first step in a long journey, a journey that will require commitment, determination, forgiveness, honesty, love, and a light and quiet heart.

Let us all join hands. _________ and ________, we have all witnessed your pledge, we support you, we love you, and we all declare you husband and wife.

[older]

And some unsolicited advice: The most important item you have together is time. It is the one thing that, once it is gone, cannot be replaced. All this talk about quality time is bunk. An hour does not equal a day, a weekend does not substitute for a week, nor does a week substitute for a month. And if children enter your life, there is no going back to catch that grammar school pageant or gymnastics meet or band concert. The one you skip because you think you can go again next year is gone and, although you cannot imagine this now, the days and years really will go by quickly, just like the old folks say. So guard your time together jealously and watch for those insidious time thieves that endeavor to steal it from you. Set aside a regular time that is just for the two of you and keep it special. Don't let anything else intrude.

 

Best wishes to both of you.

[Ellinas]

Never seen such a ceremony, unfortunately, so I can't really help.  Nevertheless, congratulations.

[Orbit]

Congratulations Orbit! I am so happy for you!

 

My girl just got engaged and is already in the planning stage. Watching her is so much fun. I hope you enjoy every minute planning your own wedding! She  personally justs wants a big party to celebrate. She picked The Holiday Inn to be married and have reception She is my sister's daughter, but I brought her up from age 14. She is going to get married on my sisters birthday this fall. No preacher at all. Just a justice of the Peace. But she wants the whole princess thing. Lol The white wedding dress, the cinderella shoes, maid of honor etc.... She is having a 'stand up' eating type of buffet...But no church for her....she heard me talk too much and formed her own beliefs.

 

I'm so happy for you! I wish you the very best. Have lots of fun planning hon! Let us know how it's going? ((hug))

 

Thanks Margee! I'm really excited about it, we get to design the ceremony to be exactly how we want!

[FreeThinkerNZ]

Congrats to you both!

 

I've been to many different kinds of weddings, but one I really liked had the bride and groom walking each other down the aisle, since they were both on their second time around.  It was a nice touch, I thought.

 

Music, the spoken word, and nature, would be a part of a wedding ceremony for me.

[older]

I was a wedding photographer for a while and saw a lot — bridezillas, mother-of-the-bride-zillas, brides so drugged on tranquilizers that they didn't know what was going on. Fortunately, the majority were great people and fun to work with.

 

The best weddings were the small ones where the dozen or so guests were only those who mattered a lot to the couple. These ceremonies were close, personal, and human; not shows intended to impress or pay back social obligations. The most moving was a second wedding, the groom having two young kids from a previous marriage. It was the bride's first marriage. All four of them stood together at the altar and pledged their love for each other, and I could tell this was for real and was one that would last.