I Feel Like A Christian Again

[rjn]

 

Some would argue that there was nothing special about the Jews, nor were they originally the chosen people. Their ancestor Abraham however, was handpicked by God, and his descendants continued the beliefs and traditions laid down by him. The Jews became a chosen people, rather than being one from the onset.

I have never heard that idea, but it sounds interesting. So the Jews aped Abraham, so that they could be chosen like Abraham. The Christians aped Jesus, so that they could be chosen like Jesus. (Right now I don't feel very inspired to be honest - just a grumpy atheist again.)

 

 

I found that stuff at a Christian site, so it's not as if I came up with it. It really changes nothing though, as far as theology goes, the end result is the same: the Jews were God's chosen people (now how arrogant isn't that?) and the Christians took up the flag with the new Covenant of Christ.

[hockeyfan70]

 

I'm at the beginning stages, so I'm kind of going through the stages of grief that Kubler-Ross talks about. Disbelief, bargaining, sadness, acceptance, etc. I certainly feel more free. But I also feel more alone, because my church was my tribe. Now they aren't. I think going through phases happens to some people, so don't sweat it.

Thanks, @hockeyfan70

I hope your adjustment is as smooth as possible. It is never easy, but some people seem to adjust quicker than others. @florduh had some very good observations in an earlier thread about what makes the adjustment harder or easier for people. Maybe I can find it and post a link.

 

 

I think it's helpful that I really have taken myself completely out of the Christian culture completely. Which is crazy because I was immersed in it for so long. Now my bullshit detector is working, maybe for first time.

[hockeyfan70]

Here is that quote I mentioned from @florduh about why deconversion is harder for some than others.

 

Once the average person is removed from being immersed in propaganda they can't help but start to observe and think. It's hard to leave religion when your family is caught up in the insanity. It's hard to leave if the religion feeds some mental dysfunction. It's hard to leave just because of inertia. Stronger personalities who are naturally logical probably have an easier exit. Education and intelligence help too.

http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/70593-what-makes-deconversion-easy-vs-hard/#.Vui-PI-cG1s

 

Cool. Thanks for posting this! I would consider myself pretty intelligent but I unfortunately make my decisions more with how I feel. (I'm an INFP). Which makes me wonder - do certain personality types help dictate whether you are religious or not? Like do people who make decisions through feeling gravitate more towards religion than people who make decisions through thinking?

[TABA]

Hockeyfan70:

"Which makes me wonder - do certain personality types help dictate whether you are religious or not? Like do people who make decisions through feeling gravitate more towards religion than people who make decisions through thinking?"

 

Oh I think that's true! Isn't it the case that women tend to be more religious than men? I think I'm not emotion-driven so much, and maybe this is why I shed religion relatively smoothly - so far at least...

[directionless]

Cool. Thanks for posting this! I would consider myself pretty intelligent but I unfortunately make my decisions more with how I feel. (I'm an INFP). Which makes me wonder - do certain personality types help dictate whether you are religious or not? Like do people who make decisions through feeling gravitate more towards religion than people who make decisions through thinking?

That is a good point. I think I might be INFP somewhat too. (I had never heard that acronym, so I had to look it up. Learn something new every day. )

[Shinzon]

Occasionally out of masochism i look up look up sermons and like christian living advice, kind of a nice haha moment every time where i go "how could anyone miss this!".

 

Point being, yeah fuzzy wuzzies are nice but what is real and what is just sentimental horshit. Determine that for yourself is my advice.

[directionless]

I don't understand what is wrong with me. I felt so good the last several weeks, and I also believed in God again (see post #1). Then it just evaporated in a day. I decided to go for a walk to get some sunshine, and I could feel it evaporating. By the time, I finished the walk, I was my depressed and discouraged old self again.

 

Believing in God or not believing in God is irrelevant. What I care about is living my life in a hopeful and positive way. I felt like I had something promising briefly, but it slipped out of my fingers. I suppose a Christian might say I grieved the Holy Spirit ... by going for a walk LOL. I would like to get back to how I felt before I lost faith in God again a week ago.

 

I'm trying to hold on to some of the realizations I made about my life and the bitterness I had felt for so long. Those realizations seem to be only words now. I seem to have lost faith in them too.

[dangitbobby83]

I don't understand what is wrong with me. I felt so good the last several weeks, and I also believed in God again (see post #1). Then it just evaporated in a day. I decided to go for a walk to get some sunshine, and I could feel it evaporating. By the time, I finished the walk, I was my depressed and discouraged old self again.

 

Emotions are fickle and can easily lie to us. They cannot be trusted as sources of truth because they change easily. 

 

You said you felt like you knew god again - christian god, of course. A hindu would feel the same thing, but apply it to Krishna instead. 

 

The only objective evidence that these feelings supply...is that they exist and your brain is capable of having them. There are other underlying causes to them. Getting the "feels" for Jesus is the same as getting the feels for Vishnu or Allah. The only reason you felt "jesus" is because christianity is the culture here. 

[Deidre]

No one can tell you what to think...it's a journey for some, and for others...it is a 'quick' deconversion. Just follow your heart...but when we are under stress, sometimes our decisions one way or the other, can be made without consulting any logic at all. So, it's wise to wait out the stress, before 'deciding' that you are this or that. Always follow the path, but with a clear head and calm emotions. Wherever it leads, I hope you find peace. 

[hockeyfan70]

For me, because it's been my whole life - my job, my career, my education, everything - it's very hard to disconnect right away. It does help that my former church are being total jackasses about everything.

[directionless]

No one can tell you what to think...it's a journey for some, and for others...it is a 'quick' deconversion. Just follow your heart...but when we are under stress, sometimes our decisions one way or the other, can be made without consulting any logic at all. So, it's wise to wait out the stress, before 'deciding' that you are this or that. Always follow the path, but with a clear head and calm emotions. Wherever it leads, I hope you find peace.

Thanks, @Deidre For me, it seems to be related to my mood swings. For example, today I woke up feeling terrible. I tried drinking water and snacking on various things. I noticed I had tremors as though I had too much coffee. I could only muse about a distant future where I might feel free to put myself out of my misery. I didn't get any work done at all. I had an appointment with a psychotherapist, and I was nervous about that - even though I have been going there every week for a year. Then suddenly on the drive home from the therapist, I felt very optimistic and I started getting things done. Then I began to have delusional thoughts that my therapist cast a spell or prayed for me after I left, but I haven't taken those thought too seriously. Mostly I feel pretty good now. I'm going to try to wake up at 4 am and ride my exercise bike tomorrow morning for the first time in over a month.

 

It is like a roller coaster. My faith in God seems to come and go. When I feel good, I can halfway believe that God exists, but when I feel bad then I can't.

 

I was watching "Hour of Power" and the young preacher said that everybody has a desire to worship or give thanks ... unless they are depressed. That is very true in my experience.

[directionless]

For me, because it's been my whole life - my job, my career, my education, everything - it's very hard to disconnect right away. It does help that my former church are being total jackasses about everything.

Wow, I didn't know you were that deeply involved. Sometimes I wonder what it might have been like to go to a Christian college and be surrounded by all those righteous people to encourage me to have been more righteous myself. I watch young Christian college students at a televised church service, and they seem like such sincere people. I admire them for having values and trying to live by those values.

 

I admire Jewish people too. The modern culture has no respect for tradition. Yesterday's treasure is today's trash. Everything changes so fast, and I can't keep up.