Did Leaving Christianity Supercharge My Sex Drive?

[ExMachina1]

Hi all, been going through the motions with my deconversion. Don't get me wrong, I dont intend to ever go back to the faith, im done. But man, trying to reconstruct my perception of reality and get those religious thoughts out my head is HARD. So, I'm struggling. I do intend to get counseling.

 

Whatever the case, I have a question about something I've been trying to figure out.As we all know, Christianity is very sexually repressive. For all my years as a Christian I felt sexual urges but did my best to repress them and felt guilty whenever I watched porn and masturbated. To cope with he fact that I was disobeying God and doing these bad things, after I did the deeds I'd tell myself I was dreaming and I never actually did anything. Yes, I would tell myself this and tried to believe it.

 

Of course as I grew older, it got much worse. I needed to release sexual urges but I knew it was wrong. Now, After deconverting, I went crazy. I had sex with whoever and whenever. I got myself into all kinds of sexual situations. Thing is, it hasn't stopped I crave sex so much that my desire to fulfill my goals in life has been inhibited; I want to have sex all the time. It's all I think about.

 

Now, the desire for sex and lots of it is normal, but whenever it overcomes ylur life goals and ability to think productively, it becomes a problem. And that's where I find myself right now. Is it safe to say that this is the doings of my Christian conditioning? A sort of Freud-esque unleashing of my repressed sexual desire. To some extent?

[dangitbobby83]

Probably. 

 

Your best bet is to see a secular therapist that deals with sexual issues specifically. 

[violetbutterfly]

I'm kinda drunk right now so pardon my answer...but I can relate. I repressed so much before...I'm sort of in my own personal sexual revolution right now.

[Margee]

Hi ExMachina. I'm so happy that you are going to talk (hopefully) to a secular therapist about the freedom you are feeling right now.

 

I am no expert at all but I do know when the shackles of religious rules were broken away from me, I didn't know what to do next. This 'freedom' will really test who you are once you understand that you probably do not have to answer to any gods. I would say you are fairly normal. But here's the thing. Now we get to make choices and it's important to make good choices because we can still suffer the consequences of our actions. One rule for me is that no one should get hurt. So make sure all the girls you are having 'your freedom with' are OK with the fact that you are not really looking for a serious relationship. Most girls that I know, want a true relationship after having sex with someone. Maybe not the younger girls today? but from when I grew up, he was 'ours' forever after sex and there was a lot of hurt when a boy 'moved on'.  So whatever you are doing make sure no one is getting hurt including yourself. And use protection!! That's is just my 2 cents worth.

 

I'm glad you are getting free. It's a wonderful feeling!!

 

((hug))

[Voice]

A couple of things, Ex.

 

I was the opposite. Being repressed I passed up some of the best women in the world, celibate. I've always had a supercharged sex drive. It was insane being so fucking horny. Took a good 10 years for me to get back into having partners.

 

This would be a great topic for the sex & christianity forum.

[Jedah]

Well religion in general teaches that you are a scoundrel/slut if you don't wait till marriage, so with that repression lifted it's pretty understandable when you realize that wanting sex is normal and not some horrible satanic whatever.

[Voice]

Jedah, that one is a fucker.

 

Turns out I'm addicted to sex also, now that I've learned to appreciate a good partner, partners. There are some good people out there.

[GuyGone]

Sex addiction is recognized as an issue by people outside the church - that is, it's not necessarily related to past religion.  Any obsessive behavior that affects your ability to have stable relationships or keep a job or that controls your live is probably unhealthy.  One thing the church is right about; constant use of pornography will keep an addiction/obsession alive and growing.  It's the old thing about the tree you water being the one that grows.  I'd agree with the decision to talk to a therapist and get to the root of the issue.

[Guest Les]

When I left God, I became dissociated. When dissociated and disoriented (fr fr), I did crazy things and felt wacky ways. My sex drive was flying off the hinges and I even gave my body up a few times.

 

Simple answer: your mind feels deprived in a way so it makes up for the difference by wanting lots and lots of sex or something like that.

[miamia]

Wanting lots of sex is normal for healthy people who are well nourished, fit, and guilt free. I think about sex constantly. Some dont, some do. The longer you feel this urge the more manageable it will get. Dont get sick and take care of any children that result. Humans are not wired for monogamy either, monogamy is a survival skill. learn about sex in history, other cultures, read read read. Become interested in the mechanisms of sex, it's history, and so on. Arm yourself with information so you can live a quality life, and have some of everything.

[Voice]

Wanting lots of sex is normal for healthy people who are well nourished, fit, and guilt free. I think about sex constantly. Some dont, some do. The longer you feel this urge the more manageable it will get. Dont get sick and take care of any children that result. Humans are not wired for monogamy either, monogamy is a survival skill. learn about sex in history, other cultures, read read read. Become interested in the mechanisms of sex, it's history, and so on. Arm yourself with information so you can live a quality life, and have some of everything.

 

miamia I like the way you think.

 

Direct the urge toward something healthy for you.