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Goodbye Jesus

Little Do They Know...


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Id like to start a thread about all the stupid little tidbits of the Bible Christians ignore, interpret weirdly, or deny altogether, as well as how to refute or disprove their "truth."

 

My first:

 

https://books.google.com/books?id=X7i7BwAAQBAJ&pg=PA170&lpg=PA170&dq=king+rehoboam+penis+contest&source=bl&ots=nTg1qcITgn&sig=kSbmr054Y6ZLQfAcDnnLf7tnrFg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwixlrKAo-HPAhWFsFQKHb1fCPUQ6AEIPzAG#v=onepage&q=king%20rehoboam%20penis%20contest&f=false

 

King Rehoboam has a fucking penis size contest or some shit with his father apparently. And Christians say that penises are vulgar and tend to not speak about them. ????

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Yay.. just as I was going to create a Woo woo thread... but this is just as good.

 

You want some sexual woo woo, here is some woo woo (And one of the verses that made me start thinking)

 

"Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. Then the Lord said, "My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, because he also is flesh; nevertheless his days shall be one hundred and twenty years." 4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown," (Gen. 6:1-4).

 

What do Christians have to say about... son's of god having sex with daughters of men and producing Nephilim? Well a bit of woo woo but ultimately 'we are unsure' is the line taken

 

https://carm.org/what-are-nephilim

 

https://gotquestions.org/Nephilim.html(2nd to last paragraph things get exciting)

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Reading Christian apologetics is sometimes like listening to nerds talk about Dungeons and Dragons, only the latter makes much more sense.

 

Edit:

 

A bit OT, but GotQuestions is such a great source of amusement!

"It is entirely possible to create great biblical movies with appropriate degrees of artistic license. Sadly, Noah is not such a movie. At best, it is a fictional retelling loosely based on the biblical account of Noah."

 

Oh my! Please, make it stop! trt19ROFLPIMP.gif

 

http://www.blogos.org/gotquestions/Noah-movie.php

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Yay.. just as I was going to create a Woo woo thread... but this is just as good.

 

You want some sexual woo woo, here is some woo woo (And one of the verses that made me start thinking)

 

"Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, 2 that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. 3 Then the Lord said, "My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, because he also is flesh; nevertheless his days shall be one hundred and twenty years." 4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown," (Gen. 6:1-4).

 

What do Christians have to say about... son's of god having sex with daughters of men and producing Nephilim? Well a bit of woo woo but ultimately 'we are unsure' is the line taken

 

https://carm.org/what-are-nephilim

 

https://gotquestions.org/Nephilim.html(2nd to last paragraph things get exciting)

Did the Nephilim ride unicorns and T-rexes too?

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Well Abijah, the Bible states that they were mighty men who were of old, men of renown. So we can assume that they did mighty deeds and were well known. Riding unicorns? hmm I'm afraid there is no empirical evidence that the Nephilim rode unicorns I'm afraid.

 

However the question we should be asking is.... where were the mighty WOMEN who were of old, WOMEN of renown..... or did this sons of god x daughters of man woo woo only produce males?

 

I'm very sad if so, cause a giant woman slapping a giant man would be awesome! :P:D

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1 Kings 11:1 "But king Solomon loved many STRANGE women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites..."

Uhm, to each their own?
 

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Yay.. just as I was going to create a Woo woo thread... but this is just as good.

 

You want some sexual woo woo, here is some woo woo (And one of the verses that made me start thinking)

 

"Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, 2 that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. 3 Then the Lord said, "My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, because he also is flesh; nevertheless his days shall be one hundred and twenty years." 4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown," (Gen. 6:1-4).

 

What do Christians have to say about... son's of god having sex with daughters of men and producing Nephilim? Well a bit of woo woo but ultimately 'we are unsure' is the line taken

 

https://carm.org/what-are-nephilim

 

https://gotquestions.org/Nephilim.html(2nd to last paragraph things get exciting)

Did the Nephilim ride unicorns and T-rexes too?

 

 

This sounds like the beginnings of some WEIRD word porn you can grab over Amazon..."Taken by the T-Rex" and other fine literary masterpieces. :D

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Oh dear...... :P

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Song of Solomon is pretty erotic. Some Xians say its porn & I think that's pretty funny. Porn is in the Bible, well yeah in lots of places actually.

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