Wittyusername Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 Three services a week, twice on Sundays, special services etc. All my time was spent with these people who I thought of as my brothers and sisters. It has taken time and support from here to see how not even one of them gave enough fucks to even text me to find out how I am, or even find out from me what happened or why I stopped coming to church. I would not be surprised if the pastor whom I confided in did a mini sermon about the sheep and the goats round about the time the Sunday school teacher (me!) left our small church . I had a lot of support from you guys on this site. Someone here said 'these people were never your friends'. It hurt, but as I have been finding lately, the truth will set you free. It's been almost a year, I think, and recently I was chatting online with an acquaintance about a Christian organisation we were involved in. When I said 'I see myself as agnostic these days' no more messages came through and it's been a week. It still hurts even though I understand these people don't want to be infected with non-belief. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted November 26, 2016 Moderator Share Posted November 26, 2016 Happens to us all Witty. My family were primarily concerned at the negative impact my atheism had, and has on them. Its possibly because we are directly threatening their nice little beliefs... that can't stand up to even semi rigorous thinking. I wouldn't be surprised about the sheep and goats sermon as well. Or the "separation of the chaff and the wheat" or "many are called few are chosen" Christians will find excuses for you leaving: You didn't want to submit to god, you didn't want there to be a god, you want to do immoral things, the church hurt you and you are blaming god etc etc etc. They bring out every bullshit excuse except the real one: I examined my beliefs in God, I tried to find reasons to believe in God, but in the end there is no evidence for God, so why believe in something for which there is no evidence? Time will heal the hurt, and finding friendships outside of the church community will help. And there is Ex-C... very important when you are in an isolated town in an isolated country in which there are no local groups of interest.... :/ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConsiderTheSource Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 RE: "sermon about the sheep and the goats round about the time the Sunday school teacher (me!) left our small church." You will soon understand that Christian are at the master level when it comes to passive aggressive attacks on you. Sucks. Sucks big time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted November 26, 2016 Moderator Share Posted November 26, 2016 I went through this Witty. I'm so, so sorry. It stinks likes puke. I sent a kind, loving letter and never even got one phone call after I completely supported his church and was in the ministry there. Most of the ladies stopped talking to me who I called my friends. I never heard from any of them. I'm quite sure he had a sermon and read my letter to the congregation... probably to do with satan getting a hold of me. It gave me so much pleasure a couple of years ago to run into him face to face and he and his phony wife asked me to come out to their place for supper and have a nice 'chat'. He was not used to being rejected because he thought he was the 'king'. I looked at him with a smile on my face and said very firmly (but sweet,) ''We no longer have anything in common - I am an atheist''.....and I walked away leaving him stunned. I must admit, I had a smirk on my face and felt great satisfaction. He was a con man and I no longer fell for his type of bullshit. But it sure hurts when you leave. Soon you will heal. Keep posting my friend. (hug) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wittyusername Posted November 26, 2016 Author Share Posted November 26, 2016 Wow Margee, I envy your guts. One negative message that has been reinforced in me through my culture, family upbringing and religious upbringing is that I should be passive, don't contradict those in authority, don't answer back. I don't think I would have had the guts to say that to him but I am trying to grow the guts now. A few months ago I bumped into our pastor in the post office. I was syrupy sweet and cheerful (atheism is not misery) . Oh hello, nice to bump into you! I hope you're well! I was on the way to donate some items to the charity shop but offered them to him instead.He was polite but acted like he was in a hazmat suit. He did not offer to meet or chat or anything which hurt. If I thought someone was going to hell and I could persuade them surely I would take action. (Thinking about it, no- I was not involved in evangelism - that was the job of the pastors and other people - what odd thinking!). I think time does heal. It is not such a blow when I think about it now. I'm just glad I am not around people anymore who don't actually give a shit about me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 Years ago, I stopped going to church after I started to have doubts. Around the same time, one of my roommates also stopped going. I didn't hear a peep from anyone in the church about my absence, but my roommate, who was making good money and was a regular tither, actually got a 'concerned' visit from the pastor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wittyusername Posted November 26, 2016 Author Share Posted November 26, 2016 Hey Vigile, I was a tither but followed the 'let not your left hand know what your right hand is doing' philosophy. A sour part of me hopes that their small budget was affected but new people may have joined and plugged the hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 Very sorry to hear this, Wittyusername, and sorry not to be surprised. Many of us have had the same experience. My parents did as well when they pulled out of the staid, mainline Presbyterian church years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Years ago, I stopped going to church after I started to have doubts. Around the same time, one of my roommates also stopped going. I didn't hear a peep from anyone in the church about my absence, but my roommate, who was making good money and was a regular tither, actually got a 'concerned' visit from the pastor. I love this story about people who follow the guy who said "Blessed are the poor" and "there's something more than gold." Witty, so sorry about your hurt. I just can't believe it. These people believe in standing up for their beliefs, they praise martyrdom, they exalt truth. Yet they flee from anyone who asks honest questions about the real-life basis for their beliefs, they refuse to discuss the physical and scientific evidence for any arguments but their own, they won't even hang around to be "martyred" as in losing face in an argument. If their faith is so strong, how can they get "infected" by associating with an atheist? My own family uses a strange combination of passive aggressive shunning behaviour. All of it is hurtful because it says "You're not good enough." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted November 28, 2016 Moderator Share Posted November 28, 2016 I love this story about people who follow the guy who said "Blessed are the poor" and "there's something more than gold." "Blessed are the poor" But I'll build a million dollar house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 I love this story about people who follow the guy who said "Blessed are the poor" and "there's something more than gold." "Blessed are the poor" But I'll build a million dollar house. They do sing about street paved with gold and mansions for the blessed. Maybe they're getting their two lives--earthly and heavenly--confused. Or maybe they think "blessed" actually means "wealthy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LogicalFallacy Posted November 28, 2016 Moderator Share Posted November 28, 2016 I love this story about people who follow the guy who said "Blessed are the poor" and "there's something more than gold." "Blessed are the poor" But I'll build a million dollar house. They do sing about street paved with gold and mansions for the blessed. Maybe they're getting their two lives--earthly and heavenly--confused. Or maybe they think "blessed" actually means "wealthy." Or blessed are the poor only applies to the poor... if you are wealthy... you are still blessed. Thusly my children it does not matter if you are rich or poor you are blessed. The bible does teach capitalism by the way. Don't believe me? Look up the story of the master who left his servants with talents. They were each rewarded according to how much they returned on capital. The one who buried the talent and returned it without any gain, due to the time use of money the actual value had fallen, so he was executed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.B. Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 Pssh... that's nothing. I got preached about ON TELEVISION when I left a church once. We had been attending one of these B-level prosperity-message churches that had a regional TV broadcast of its services. I had the gall to refer to the pastor's wife as "sister" so-and-so rather than as "pastor" so-and-so, because she was a pastor of the church along with her husband. When we left that church some time later, we happened to have the local channel on when their broadcast started. Lo and behold, the sermon that morning was about the offices of ministry in the bible and how if one is a pastor, people should ALWAYS, ONLY refer to them as pastor Whoever because it's biblical. They were a bunch of charlatans and crooks to begin with, but the bullshit egotism was just too much, hence our exit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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