wakafaka

Relapsing Back To Christianity

13 posts in this topic

I have decided over the last few years that god dosnt really exist .I grew up in a strong Christian family and its seems that every time that I feel like I break away from being a Christian bad things happen to me like god is punishing me for not beliving,Needing some encorugement to break this way of thinking.

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Welcome.

Everything got better for me so it's not god you know.

 

Make sure that you're changing how you make decisions etc as you deconvert. If you have bad learned thinking patterns, you'll need to change those.

Just deconverting doesn't fix things. It just sets you free to make the changes based on reason rather than magic thinking.

Hang in there

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There is no punishment from any gods. Even the Bible says that rain falls on both the just and unjust. In today's vernacular, shit happens.

 

Brainwashing is a bitch!

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Humans have excellent pattern recognition skills.  Often they are too good.  Some see a picture of someone on a piece of toast, or an animal in a cloud.  That's fine.  However, many go beyond this and causally attribute the observation to something else.  For example, with the picture on the piece of toast, some might say that it resembles some god and that it must be a message from that god to not do something, or do something, etc.

 

When my wife and I bought a newer car for here to drive, all of a sudden I noticed how many of that brand/model of car were on the road.  Was that because all of a sudden many other folks bought that same brand/model and were now driving them?  Of course not.  It was because I was more apt to notice these cars becuase of my recent experience with buying one.

 

Your statement, "it seems that every time that I feel like I break away from being a Christian bad things happen to me like god is punishing me for not believing" is likely an example of pattern recognition gone awry.

 

I suggest you study the following concepts with a focus on how you might distinguish them when they appear in your day to day life:

 

causation

correlation

coincidence

non-sequitur

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I have decided over the last few years that god dosnt really exist .I grew up in a strong Christian family and its seems that every time that I feel like I break away from being a Christian bad things happen to me like god is punishing me for not beliving,Needing some encorugement to break this way of thinking.

 

So, God is punishing you for not believing in him? Seems harsh for such a supposed loving God.

 

Try taking a look at your life's good and bad moments and whether you were a Christian at that time or not. Certainly you had some bad moments as a Christian? (I got divorced while I was a Christian) So you feel that God might be  punishing you but of course it's hard to tell for sure because the almighty God has a still small voice? (Contradictory ideas about God placed together and underlined) Maybe God could communicate better. As a Christian I heard a lot of "I think God wants me to do X." Is that the best God can do? I have to chalk that up to imagination, not communication.

 

Your post sounds like one of the fear mechanisms to keep you in the fold. IMO religion is a psychological phenomenon. It's a battle within yourself caused by different emotions and concepts.

 

But you know, why do you have to make a decision that God exists or God doesn't exist? Some people call themselves Christians and never pray or go to church. If it helps you feel better to accept that there is a God then forget about him, that might work.

 

Bottom line, shit happens whether you believe in God or not. You can react to it in several ways. How did you react to bad stuff while you were a Christian?

 

Bad thing happens: Christian might say "Praise God! He's testing me! I'll be strong for him."

Bad thing happens: Non-believer might say, "I'll get through it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I'll be strong for me."

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Much in the same way it was when you were a believer, you have to trust yourself and the way you think.

 

Christianity taught you to trust in a being that you couldn't experience with any of your senses. You had to merely "believe" and it essentially became true to you over time. As pointed out by sdelsolray above, you began to attribute things as being part of God's plan and interaction in your life. You relied on everything but your brain in order to be a Christian.

 

Now you are doing the opposite. You are relying entirely on your brain and the way you think and experience your senses. You are essentially re-wiring your brain and that takes time. Your brain likes to be comfortable in what it thinks and believes, and right now in this process, you are making it uncomfortable. It wants what it knows and can work with, and to be comfortable. You have to trust the process in your leaving the faith you have held in your life. It gets easier. Your brain becomes more comfortable and you start to see things much more clearly and its refreshing.

 

There is a lot to unpack in what you are leaving. Things constantly remind you of the faith you left. People remind you of the faith you left. You desperately want to be a part of that community. I know, because I miss parts of it. A lot, at times. But I cannot possibly go back to Christianity now that I know what it really is. Just a worldview. Just a religion. Nothing more.

 

I like to point out to myself that I, as a mere human, can easily best a so called divine, perfect being in my ability to prove my love to everyone, and to "save " them. Christianity teaches that God loves everyone so much and that he wants what is best for us. But yet his very bible is vague and skewed by thousands of years of being in human hands. His very "instruction manual" is old and antiquated and doesn't translate to our current world very well at all.  He is completely absent in this world apart from the lives of his followers. If I truly wanted to share my love with "my creation" I certainly wouldn't be invisible in the world I created. I certainly would make it very clear what I want from my people. I would not leave it vague and easily misunderstood.

 

I want to ease your mind and let you know that what you are experiencing is completely normal. Its a part of the process. You aren't being punished. You are just developing a new way of thinking and seeing the world.

 

Everything you have ever learned about God has come from a human. Think about that for a moment. Everything. You have never seen him, heard him, felt him. He is all in your head.

 

Hang in there. You will be fine. It will take work, but I promise, its worth it to stay the course and be free from Christianity.

Edited by Storm
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Thanks everyone for the encouragement.I think that my main problem is that I learned to rely on Christianity for everything and was brainwashed to think that way.It was how I felt comfortable not having to take responsibility for myself.I will make it past this.

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It was always easier to just say the phrase: "It's all part of God's plan." or "I'm being tested." or my personal favorite: "God gives his toughest challenges to his best soldiers!"

Why would a God need to test you anyhow? Think about that for a while. Why would all powerful, all knowing, all encompassing God need to test you? He supposedly already knows what you'll do anyhow, he is the Alpha and Omega after all. It's asinine.

You said it best, it's a poison that brainwashes the mind. Cleansing that poison is what is important. Good luck.

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Thanks everyone for the encouragement.I think that my main problem is that I learned to rely on Christianity for everything and was brainwashed to think that way.It was how I felt comfortable not having to take responsibility for myself.I will make it past this.

 

Welcome To Ex-c wakafaka. The posts above are excellent. Keep reading the testimonies so you will know you are not alone. Coming out of brainwashing takes a good amount of time for a lot of us. Keep posting what you are feeling. Someone is always here to help you. So glad you are here with us.

 

(hug)

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well, USA got Donald Trump as president.

 

it shows there is no god,,,,,,

 

hahaha. joking

 

anyway, shit happens daily, and now you can't blame on god, and probably stressing you a little bit more, the coping thing of god is in control is no longer available,,,,

 

learn to cope, it gets easier each day

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Waka,

 

It gets easier. Truly!

And you get stronger (more apt to repel propaganda and indoctrination attempts) with each passing week.

 

I can now say that I can read Bible passages, hear the fundies clam that God is talking to them, and even listen to parts the most experienced and cunning pastors w/out "falling" back into the fold.

 

Each time I hear some xtian nonsense I think of, just exactly, how those individuals are brainwashed and how the mind works. In addition I think of how perfectly the xitan talk, not only shows how indoctrinated the person is, but how perfectly the indoctrination is tailored to how the mind works.

 

As you begin to repel the fundie nonsense concentrate on always thinking of how scientifically impossible the indoctrination is - in addition to how well it is tailored to take advantage of you. Keep doing this. It will reverse your brainwashing.

 

Hang in there and keep reading here....

 

--- MOHO (Mind Of His Own)

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What's messed up is that God is up there apparently punishing you, but you don't really know that for sure. Is it just coincidence or is it really because you doubted his existence? What kind of messed up father is that? What dad punishes his child but doesn't clearly tell them why? Just makes them sit in the dark, their mind in torment making guesses as to why they're being punished. 

That just doesn't make sense coming from a supposedly loving God. If God is going to punish you for something, he needs to get off his ass, come down, and make it crystal clear what he's doing and why he's doing it. Otherwise it's his own damn fault if you don't 'listen' to him.

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I made the conscious decision that I was no longer a christian when I was twenty-five years old. It probably took another five or six years to completely shed all of the fears and beliefs that I had accumulated over those twenty-five years, growing up in the church. The idea of a god watching and scrutinizing every aspect of your life takes some time to shake. It's a habit, like any other. 

What you need to try and focus on is recognizing those old habits when you do them. What you'll notice is that, at first, it can take hours or even days to realize that you've fallen into some old christian belief and let it dictate your behavior, so you shake it off, adjust your thinking about that particular incident and move on. Then it happens again, and again, and again... and that's normal. What you'll see is that, if you consciously acknowledge what you did each time you do it, that time between doing it and realizing you did it will start to shrink. After while, you'll begin to recognize the situations that lead to those incidents, and you'll start dealing with them or viewing them differently so that they stop happening all together. One day you'll realize that it's been weeks since it happened, then months, then years.

It's actually a rehab process. Addicts, people with anger issues and the like, they go through the same thing and to be honest, it's really no different. 

Just keep at it, you'll be fine. Don't get too down on yourself for it. We've all been there.

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