Departing the Mainstream Atheist Movement: My Journey to Authentic Humanism
Entry posted by TheBluegrassSkeptic in Athiesm
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In a world marked by diverse belief systems and a spectrum of values, the atheist movement has provided a platform for individuals to embrace rationality, critical thinking, and secular ideals. For many, it's been a space to challenge dogma and promote open dialogue. However, my journey through the mainstream atheist movement has been tainted by an unexpected aspect: the insidious pressure on non-religious women to conform to certain sexual expectations. This expectation, combined with the disheartening experiences I faced, led me to step away from my involvement in the movement and my atheist podcast.
The atheist movement prides itself on its foundation of reason, science, and skepticism. However, this intellectual backdrop often masks an underlying issue: the expectation for non-religious women to be more sexually available than their conservative counterparts. This paradox intrigued me when I initially joined the movement. I believed that shedding religious beliefs also meant shedding oppressive attitudes about gender and sexuality. Yet, as I delved deeper, I realized that these harmful stereotypes were still pervasive within the very community that championed freedom from dogma.
My participation in the atheist movement quickly became tainted by the feeling that my sexuality was becoming an inescapable aspect of my identity within the community. This unexpected sexualization pervaded conversations, social gatherings, and even online interactions. It felt as though my thoughts and contributions were being filtered through a lens that emphasized my gender and appearance over my ideas. This was disheartening, as I had hoped that the atheist movement would be a place where my intellect and opinions would be valued without being overshadowed by my gender.
As I struggled to find my place in this movement, I encountered another distressing aspect: predatory behavior from fellow atheists. During moments of vulnerability, some individuals within my circle preyed upon my emotional state, exploiting it for their own gain. If I was experiencing financial hardships and asked for advice, the first suggestion was always along the lines of selling photos of my body or camming. Never did my male counterparts suggest I have a yard sale, pick up a second job or advise me on how to fight debt collectors. It always came back down to my body. This manipulation shattered my trust and made me question whether the movement truly valued empathy and human connection.
During my journey within the mainstream atheist movement as a podcaster, panel guest, and blogger, I came to the painful realization that I was not alone in my experiences. Conversations with other women in my circle revealed that many of them had faced similar instances of sexual harassment and objectification. Shockingly, some recounted instances where they were targeted by malicious rumors and gossip after refusing unwanted sexual advances at events like Nanocon. I knew the men they were accusing, and some even admitted they did it. This disturbing trend of using rumors about supposed sexual encounters as a means of control and retaliation against those who rejected advances highlighted the toxic underbelly that had infiltrated the community. Learning about these distressing stories reinforced my urgency to find a more inclusive environment for all atheists, regardless of gender.
It was evident that a profound transformation was needed within the movement to ensure that these stories of harassment and degradation became a thing of the past. But, how can I do this within a community that purports itself to prioritize reason and humanism and not allow toxic behaviors to flourish unchecked?
Breaking Away
The decision to step away from my involvement in the mainstream atheist movement and my podcast was difficult, but ultimately liberating. As I gradually distanced myself from the pressures to conform, I began to reclaim my autonomy and prioritize my well-being. Breaking away allowed me to rediscover the core principles of humanism – values centered on compassion, ethics, and a commitment to the well-being of all individuals, regardless of gender, belief, or background. I ended my podcast, even severing ties with three of its members. As news of Dave Silverman broke during this time, I was more assured in my decision to take a break and focus on a time of introspection. I delved into why I felt it was important for me to be part of the more visible side of atheism, why I allowed myself to be disrespected, manipulated, and sometimes exploited. I realized it was so my voice would be amplified, or so I thought. Maybe it was for a time, but ultimately, it was church all over again. A lot of drama and idol worshipping.
The important lesson I took away from my experience was that leaving behind the mainstream atheist movement wasn't an abandonment of my atheism or skepticism. Instead, it was a choice to embrace a more genuine form of humanism that respects the dignity and agency of all individuals. My journey has been one of self-discovery, growth, and finding solidarity with like-minded individuals who share a commitment to inclusivity and empathy. I strike up more conversations now than ever before, and I still kept most of my inner circle intact despite losing my podcast and not participating in community initiatives with local atheist groups.
I discovered genuine camaraderie.
My departure was a pivotal moment in my life. It was a step toward recognizing that enlightenment doesn't always include shedding harmful expectations and confronting predatory behavior. In fact, you may be so wrapped up in discovery that you don't see the red flags. While the atheist movement continues to be a platform for many important discussions, it's crucial to acknowledge and address the issues that tarnish its potential for inclusivity and ethical growth.
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