I agreed to go to marriage counseling, and I continued to go to church. It took almost a whole week before we started talking again. We had a few blow up fights, but we did start talking. I think in the midst of those fights, we might have been more honest than we have ever been before.
It took months, but things did return to normal. Laura began to see that I was still pretty much the same. At least, I think she did. Religion was still difficult to talk about. But, I think we began to be more open with each other. And, things seemed good again. In fact, better, because we started being a couple, again.
It’s now almost a year since I wrote that letter. I don’t go to church anymore. Again, I stopped seeing a purpose to it. Laura has really opened up, and I feel close to her. Sometimes, I feel defensive when I talk to others about not believing in God. I try not to be, but it’s still hard. I anticipate accusations that I never really believed or that I can’t be a moral person without God. Part of me still needs to work on that.
On the other hand, I don’t need anyone to agree with me anymore. I feel that as long as I can be open and honest with others about what I believe and what I don’t believe, and maybe have an interesting conversation as to why, then that’s good enough for me. And, as long as I have my wife and kids who love me, then nothing else in life really matters. I know that sounds a little cliché, but it’s actually true. My wife doesn’t agree with me. She probably never will. But, she still loves me and that proves what an incredible woman she really is.