Dryden Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Long story short I was born into a fundamentalist christian church. My experience look like the documentary "Jesus Camp". The church was a mega church that also did the whole televangelist thing. I met my former wife there and worked at the church for years. I went to Bible College and changed my stance on doctrine and followed a pastor to become a missionary. I've lost everything. I've given thousands of dollars through out the years to these organizations. I won't blame my failed marriage on leaving the religion but it had a great impact. My sole purpose in life was to become a pastor and preach the God news. I had PTSD coming out from the last church I was in. I couldn't function at all. I've been in therapy for almost a year in dealing with the symptoms and trying to undo the constant guilt I have over everything. I've read a lot and watched a ton of documentaries trying to figure out my church experience which I now would describe as a cult. Religious trauma syndrome would fit my bill exactly. I'm mad all the time and I feel spiritual raped by these people. I just wish I could let it go and move on but it's always there in the back of my head. I'm also having a difficult time trying to figure out a career path or really making any decisions at all. Currently I don't have any marketable skills to get a job that pays a livable wage because I sought ministry work or served my life away at the church. I'm almost in my mid thirties and I can't support myself. When my wife left I had to move back in with my folks which I am grateful for but I feel like I won't every leave this place because I can't seem to things going. I feel so lost and all I want is to be happy again and have a life.. Can I ever get to a place were my past religious experience doesn't effect my present? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 I'm mad all the time and I feel spiritual raped by these people. I just wish I could let it go and move on but it's always there in the back of my head. I feel so lost and all I want is to be happy again and have a life.. Can I ever get to a place were my past religious experience doesn't effect my present? We've all been there, Dryden. Although it sound like you received a double-dose. Not your fault, man. Being born into a fundy family puts you behind the 8 ball from the time you're in diapers. If were to give you advice, I'd say to flush the pondering. It's not worth your time. You may not recognize it, but you're well on your way to leaving religion behind already. If you get stuck on some issue from your past (like hell, for instance) - learn about it from a non-religious perspective. Figure it out. Since it was just human beings who invented it, you can put the pieces together yourself and be able to discard the fear eventually. The man behind the curtain is just a little whiny dude. Not the big fire breathing character on the screen. And do something. Take a job that pays less than a livable wage in order to develop some usable skills. Don't just flip burgers though. Think about something you have an aptitude for and aggressively pursue it. If it takes some training, do whatever you have to do to get training. You're still young. And it's a pretty long life. Don't be in this same place 10 years from now. Welcome to ex-christian, by the way. Make yourself at home and look around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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