Church Of God Raised

[par4dcourse]

So, I've been around the board a few months, enjoyed the lively convers, and decided that I should share my sordid tale with the group. GASP!

Actually, the wife's at her mums, decorating for xmas (oh, joy) and SNL is a rerun due to the writers strike, so I had some time on my hands. Here goes.

I was born a poor black child. Sorry, that's "the Jerk" . I was born a lower middle class wasp. I make Conan O'Brien look bronze. Dad's from here in dear ole Union Co,, NC. He went north to Dayton, OH during WWII to find work. Mom's from northern KY, a small town near Lexington, and did the OH work gig too. They met and it was amore.They had 2 kids right away and 15 years later, me, in 1958. (Can you say OOPS?)

They were decidedly pentacostal fundies, and settlled on chur ch of god since they couldn't find anything stricter. Actually, as through most of their lives, mom decided, and dad went along. I was indoctrinated from birth. Church every Thursday, twice on Sunday. NO exceptions. When I was a wee lad, this didn't seem unreasonable. As I grew, however, the problems developed. I'm a living example of DNA mutations. Both my parents and my siblings are high school (at best) dropouts. I'm in Mensa, scored in the high 1400's on the SAT's, and graduated college at 21. Needless to say, something smelled on the religion front early in my career.

I had pretty much figured out that it was bs by about 13. A late friend and I used to sneak out for cigs and trade porn along then. My problem was that I had no choice in the matter. Church was mandatory. Period. This wasn't so bad when my whole social life revolved around the church. Socials and picnics and pretty girls. OK. But then my social life became more focused on school, and all hell broke loose. Any girl I dated had to meet my mom, and that meant a church invitation, not to be ignored. No matter how I tried to explain (look, they're wierd. They yell and run and convulse, but they're harmless. Just sit for a couple hours and we're outta there), it didn't work. They would stay aboit 10 minutes, tell me to fuck off, and leave.

I had enough. If it was a choice between the church and sex, I knew where my loyalties lay (pun intended) and I told my mom that as of my 18th birthday, I would never again set foot in a cog again. Other than a funeral, I've kept that promise.The funeral was for the church pastor. Although I disagreed with his beliefs, I know HE truly believed them. He was caring, helpful to others, and displayed a character that I admired. That being said, I must admit to hating most of what came out of his mouth. The c of g has a system, like most denominations, where pastors are rotated through churches at regular intervals. Not so with preacher Hall. He became so enamored with Monroe, NC, and they with him, that he spent 35 years here, dying in office. I heard ALL of his sermons at least a hundred times each. My personally most hated phrase? "Beyond this veil of tears". And he could bust out in tears at the drop of a hat, and bring his own hat.

I've been diabetic since age 3 (I'm 49 now) had a major heart attack at 45, and have a lot of time to think now. I don't know if that's good or bad. The wife says she'd hate to be me because I'm such a cynic. I call it realism. I can get a case of GrandpaHarley's political correctness at times. (Love ya, gramps!).

It occurs to me that religion is a major excuse."god told me to do it" , "the devil influenced him". When you realize that supernatural powers don't exist, or at least don't influence our petty problems, it's just us, then we have to start taking responsibility for our own actions. I made some major blunders in my life. It wasn't the devil's influence, just some incorrect decisions. And when I made a few good decisions, that's just what it was: me making some correct decisions .It pisses me to no end to watch some pro athelete score, then give "glory to god." Why? Why does god hate your opponents? Did you give more? Or is the big spook just covering the spread? No, you just ran the correct direction, and outran the opponents. Thats what they PAY you for.

Relatives make a big deal that I survived open heart surgery. I say it was a great surgeon and well prepared staff. I'm a 45 yeat diabetes survivor because I always, always took care of myself, even at a young age. You can make almost anything divine if you try hard enough.

OK, I'm tired, and there's a special on the science channel about brain function, so it's adieu for now.

 

Ciao

[ShackledNoMore]

Nice to read your eximony, Par.

 

I'm curious: did you parents resent your intellect? My mother isn't stupid, but she always resented my relatively stronger academic talents and success. Of course her resentment was unofficial and and displayed itself subtly, but it was quite strong, especially after she realized I had thought through the religious premises I had been handed.

[Skiergirl24]

Hey there, and thanks for posting. I had to LOL about your being forced to take girls to church as part of a "date." Oh man, I'm so sorry! You are right about DNA mutations! I had a friend in High School who was in the AP classes with me, yet both her parents had below average IQs. Crazy how that stuff happens! Although, sometimes education level doesn't correlate with IQ - it depends on the situation. I grew up in a Catholic home with 2 very intelligent parents (mom had her PhD and was a teacher and Dad worked in finance and banking regulation). Both of my parents were very intelligent people yet still believed. My mother (who died in July) was a brilliant woman who questioned everything, read voraciously about the Bible, the Gnostics etc. She had her doubts about some things but was a firm believer and a very spiritual woman. Dad grew up in a house where Mass was every Sunday, rain or snow, in sickness and in health! He actually thought it was a sin not to go to Church - my mother broke him of that stupidity! Both my brother and I are intelligent as well. Yet I am the only one who is skeptical. My brother says he has doubts but tries to put them in the back of his mind because he "doesn't want to believe God does not exist." I am the only agnostic in my family - the black sheep so to speak. It is hard because both my brother and Dad are very bright, but they still believe all the nonsensical rantings and ravings of the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church (lol). Anyway, I can sort of relate to you.

[par4dcourse]

I'm curious: did you parents resent your intellect? My mother isn't stupid, but she always resented my relatively stronger academic talents and success. Of course her resentment was unofficial and and displayed itself subtly, but it was quite strong, especially after she realized I had thought through the religious premises I had been handed.

 

No, it's more like we existed on two very different planes. There was one Larry at home and another, completely different one away. Mom was an excellent homemaker (still tries at 82). Dad dropped out before high school, yet he was an excellent machinists and could do complex math in his head. He could also build beautiful wood pieces from imagination. I'm sorely lacking in both skills. Both encouraged me to learn all that I could, just go to church in the meantime!

 

Skiergirl, I'm tempted to make some generalizations about intellect being in an inverse ratio to religious fervor, but that's not always the case. Let's just say that deep thinking and religious theology don[t mix well for the most part. I dearly love my parents but I so wish that I hadn't had that crap pounded into me at such an impressionable age. I was a junior in high school before I was allowed to have hair below my ears!

[R. S. Martin]

Skiergirl, I'm tempted to make some generalizations about intellect being in an inverse ratio to religious fervor, but that's not always the case. Let's just say that deep thinking and religious theology don[t mix well for the most part.

 

Given what I know about advanced degrees and religion and intelligence, I find it really seriously difficult to agree that even in generalizations it is realistic to say that deep thinking and religion don't mix. Throughout the ages we've had some seriously deep thinkers who were deeply religious. Today we have thousands of very highly educated and extremely brilliant brains who are also very devoutly religious. Some of them are my teachers. Some of them wrote the texts I study from. I'm in theology.

 

I think religion is one of humanity's ways of expressing/understanding reality. I can see that you got a different message when your parents made an issue about such a minor item as the length of your hair. I lived most of my life in a horse and buggy community so I know something about rules around dress codes and hair styles. However, I've been around for a while and I know there's far more to religion than hair styles and dress codes and other religious rules and rituals. Maybe I can best show what I mean if I copy what I wrote recently. It's what I call a humanist parallel of Jer. 31:33 and 34. I will copy the verse from the Bible, then my parallel.

 

Jer. 31

 

33 "This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel

after that time," declares the LORD.

"I will put my law in their minds

and write it on their hearts.

I will be their God,

and they will be my people.

 

This is how people will understand reality in that day. It will be in their minds and in their hearts. They will know reality and they will be in touch with reality.

 

34 No longer will a man teach his neighbor,

or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,'

because they will all know me,

from the least of them to the greatest,"

declares the LORD.

"For I will forgive their wickedness

and will remember their sins no more."

 

No more will one person have to teach another about God because God is nothing but another word for reality. All will exist on an equal level; there will be no great ones or least ones. All will accept themselves and each other as they are. All concept of sin and wickedness will be no more.

*****************

The reality is that sickness and other kinds of misfortune are rife on this planet. I applaud you for standing up for your convictions and living life your own way despite limitations. I keep being amazed at the many people we have on here who, in the face of serious ill health and death, remain unbelievers where god is concerned. This is one more piece of evidence that THE CHURCH GOT IT WRONG!

[ShackledNoMore]

Not that there don't exist brilliant believers and stupid atheists, but I always speculated a negative correlation between intelligence and religiosity just from casual observation, and some articles I've seen seem to support that.

[Skiergirl24]

Skiergirl, I'm tempted to make some generalizations about intellect being in an inverse ratio to religious fervor, but that's not always the case. Let's just say that deep thinking and religious theology don[t mix well for the most part. I dearly love my parents but I so wish that I hadn't had that crap pounded into me at such an impressionable age. I was a junior in high school before I was allowed to have hair below my ears!

 

Studies have shown that there is an inverse correlation between intelligence and belief in God. Of course, a correlation is not cause and effect. There are other mitigating factors. Many people cling to religion out of fear. Many people have "easier" lives and have no reason to question their faith - they have not lost a loved one tragically, never been raped, never witnessed a murder etc. My mother was brilliant, but she grew up with a strong sense of faith (she was a nun before she met my father hahaha - I am serious). She could debate any topic pertaining to God and had intelligent, novel insights. There are some very intelligent Christians, and some very intelligent Atheists. I have always said I have never met a stupid Atheist. I've met plenty of dumb Christians though! Still, not all Christians, nor those who believe in God, are stupid.

[Skiergirl24]

Regarding the negative correlation..... As I said, there are other mitigating factors. For example, I always found it interesting that the poverty-stricken immigrants of the US had a strong sense of faith. Now I hope I do not come across as racist because that is NOT my intent! Many of the Puerto Rican, Hispanic, Mexican immigrants wind up living in project housing, working menial jobs, struggling to get by. I am sure part of this is due to the language barrier. These people are very spiritual and have a strong sense of faith. Are they all dumb? No, of course not! They live their lives one day at a time - struggling to get by. I am sure many of them have no idea who Richard Dawkins is. They do not infiltrate scientific and educational arenas so the individuals they come in contact with on a daily basis are not educated, deep thinkers. They do not have access to top notch educational programs, they cannot read scholarly journals...they wouldn't know where to start! Christianity is all they have ever known and they may not even know there are millions of atheists out there! Of course there are exceptions...and I know I am making generalizations here.

[par4dcourse]

I guess my choice of words was poor, no surprise there.

I considered my parents talented in their own way. Its not intelligence of religious zealots I question so much as their inability to look past what's been taught. The bible says it, etc.

There was a scene in "House" last night where Hugh Laurie tells a magician who is reluctant to reveal any secrets "If the 'wow' goes away when the secret is revealed, there is no 'wow'." That was an ah-ha moment for me. Xtians are scared that if someone explains a miracle without "God's will" involved, it may not be a miracle at all.

I think poverty is involved too. The less you have in this life the more willing you would be to believe in an afterlife of great wealth. We weren't dirt poor, but not opulent by any means.

It occured to me that I need to add one post script. The biggest regret of my life thus far is that I wasn't allowed to pursue a music career. I taught myself to play several instruments around the beginning of high school, partly because I loved music and partly because rock stars got girls. Real ones. Well, that went over like the proverbial fart in church. I could play anywhere I chose, as long as they didn't do anything "ungodly"there. Since everything besides eating and church-going was ungodly, it kinda limited my exposure. I'm not making excuses, I pursued music after my churchgoing days, but by then I had my own family and had missed 10 years of industry connections. I did the weekend warrior gigs for several years, and had moderate success as a lyricist, but I always wondered what would have happened if I had started at 16........ah well, life's too short for what ifs!

[decafaholic]

lol, I appreciate your title. I was raised Assemblies of God...it's an unusual childhood, that's for sure!