Stop the ride I want to get off

[Mythra]

I just wanted to post to let you guys know how much I've appreciated this forum in the past month. I've been hanging around here for some time just reading and learning that there are a lot of people just like me who chewed and chewed on Christianity, but couldn't quite swallow.

 

I've just bailed on christianity after being in and out of it for the past 25 years. Most recently I was a praise and worship music leader in church (Southern Baptist) and it's a bit of a struggle finding my feet now. But I am finding new strength within myself that I didn't know I had. This website has been such a - how should I say - blessing? godsend? miracle? dammit, now I have to find a whole new vocabulary.

 

My spiral away from religion happened pretty quickly. I started to find one discrepancy after another in the bible, along with stuff that was just plain absurd. For instance, my wife went and got a little tatoo on her foot. I was all freaked out, and was getting ready to hammer her, because I was sure that there was a verse in the bible about not making marks on your flesh. Lucky for me I looked it up before I came down on her. This verse comes right after the verse that says "you shall not trim off the corners of your beard". Where do you go from there?

 

I think the biggest reason I left was because I never ever had a prayer answered, unless I was praying for something that I already knew was going to happen anyway. Jesus said whatever you ask for in my name, I will do it. Christians have a way of wiggling out of every single problematic verse, every single discrepancy or contradiction. I know all of the patterned responses by heart. (you need to pray in accordance with God's will)...

 

But, that isn't what Jesus said. He said, anything you ask in my name I will do it. If that isn't true, which I found out it isn't, then why should I believe Jesus when he says that I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will never die..

 

It's really hard to be up at the front of a church leading music, when you are being hammered by doubts. You are obligated to put on such a committed face, you can never let it show that you're stuggling with things. It got to where I was never really sure what were my own thoughts, what was coming from God, and what was coming from Satan, trying to lead me astray. (You know he does go around like a roaring lion, looking to see who he can devour)... One Sunday, while the preacher was saying that God would put a curse on you and your children if you didn't tithe, I spiritually crashed. I felt like I was completely losing it. I packed up my music gear after service, told the Pastor I was done. I left and haven't looked back. It was scary at first, but I'm doing o.k. I never did buy the hell thing anyway. What kind of god would that be?

 

So anyway, I've been reading lots of things, learning, and I feel freer than I have in years. (I thought it was Jesus who was supposed to set you free) - never seemed that way to me. I felt stifled and smothered when "walking with the Lord". I looked at everyone through the colored glass of "saved or unsaved"..

 

Anyway, happy to be here. I have enjoyed reading the forums.. Now if I can just figure what the hell Mr. Spooky is talking about. Either he's really really bright or I'm really really not.

[pitchu]

I packed up my music gear after service, told the Pastor I was done.  I left and haven't looked back.  It was scary at first, but I'm doing o.k

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Bring your music gear here, Mythra, and let's have an Infidel sing-along!

 

Loved your post and your attitude.

[Japedo]

Welcome to the Forum Mythra, and thank you for sharing your anti-T. It took a lot of courage to walk away from your Music position.

 

Many wonderful people on this site, and many different points of view, I think this is one of the best places on the www.

[Guest JP1283]

Thanks for your post Mythra! Glad to have you here in ExC Land.

[♦ ficino ♦]

Welcome to these forums, Mythra. I've noticed how many people leave Christianity because of noticing the contradictions and inanities in the bible. I'm glad that you're brushing away the cobwebs. Thanks for sharing your anti-testimony.

 

Has your wife made the same decision?

[♦ ficino ♦]

Sorry that this is off-topic, guys, but I just want to sympathize with people's reactions to postings made by, for example, Mr. Spooky, AND at the same time to chime in that, while I've studied a lot of philosophy, he's studied a lot of different philosophers (e.g. his teacher Searle) plus much more science. So, Mr. Spooky is one of the people I learn from. Plus... he's way hot!!

 

See yaz later

[Mythra]

Thanks for the warm welcome. My wife always thought I was overboard on religion anyway. She was raised a Lutheran, and she believes in God, as long as you don't take it too serious. So, I'm still testing the waters to see how she is going to react to my complete turn of events. She sees some of the books I'm reading (like The Incredible Shrinking Son of Man or The Book Your Church Doesn't Want You To Read), and she just rolls her eyes...

 

We'll probably get along much better now than when I was a fundavangelist (a word from one of the books I'm reading) christian. At least I don't feel the need to convert the world now to think exactly like I do, and condemn them when they don't.

[I Broke Free]

You are obligated to put on such a committed face, you can never let it show that you're stuggling with things. 

 

 

You were not alone Mythra. You were surrounded by false “faces” every Sunday. Welcome to our group. We, just like you, finally pointed at the Emperor and pronounced him NAKED!

[Mythra]

[Then, whichever constructed voice matches most closely to your own desire, is the one you believe is speaking.]

 

Thank you, Madam for your insights. You make Christianity sound like legalized schizophrenia. (come to think of it, that's kind of what it feels like)

 

I read someone else's testimony about the first time they woke up (from sleeping) and realized that they were the only one in the room. No angels, demons, saviours, devils or gods. I've experienced that too.

 

I like it.

[Mythra]

I'm glad you didn't do it, thankful. Christianity preaches selflessness, while at the same time holding out the carrot of "eternal rewards". WELL DONE, THOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT... what a load

 

To ditch your family and mess up everyone's lives for an unseen creator, in search of storing up "treasures in heaven" seems like the epitome of selfishness. I know, I did it. And I feel like a shit for it.

 

If there is a god, (and right now that's a big IF to me)

He doesn't give a rat's ass whether we believe in him or not.

 

Some people see apparent contradictions in the bible. To me, there is no apparent about it. Every way you look at it, the book turns into nonsense if you aren't afraid to look at it critically.

[Guest marktaylor]

I'm glad you didn't do it, thankful.  Christianity preaches selflessness, while at the same time holding out the carrot of "eternal rewards".  WELL DONE, THOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT...      what a load

 

To ditch your family and mess up everyone's lives for an unseen creator, in search of storing up "treasures in heaven" seems like the epitome of selfishness.  I know, I did it.  And I feel like a shit for it.

 

If there is a god, (and right now that's a big IF to me) 

He doesn't give a rat's ass whether we believe in him or not.

 

Some people see apparent contradictions in the bible.  To me, there is no apparent about it.  Every way you look at it, the book turns into nonsense if you aren't afraid to look at it critically.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Hi Mythra,

 

Welcome to the forum.

So, how are you going to spend eternity? Oh! Me first? Well, I thought I'd be dead for a couple of thousand years (Just like Jesus) and then wing it. How about you? Pretty much the same thing? Guess it's too late to find a religion that actually works? I heard that atheism stuff is pretty rad. Yeah, but don't you have to say things that make sense, I'm a little out of practice. And who the hell are we going to talk to? SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

 

Don't freak out fella, I'm always this way when there's nothing on the tube!

 

I'm in a weird mood tonight. I hope you took the above as a light hearted and slightly crazy way of saying hello. And if you didn't, well then... hello!

[MrSpooky]

Anyway, happy to be here. I have enjoyed reading the forums.. Now if I can just figure what the hell Mr. Spooky is talking about. Either he's really really bright or I'm really really not.

 

LOL, sorry, some of the stuff I talk about in regards to philosophy can definitely be a bit esoteric. I still feel like a newbie when I go through the field, though, so we're ALL learning here. Heck, I learn something new about philosophy quite frequently.

[MrSpooky]

Sorry that this is off-topic, guys, but I just want to sympathize with people's reactions to postings made by, for example, Mr. Spooky, AND at the same time to chime in that, while I've studied a lot of philosophy, he's studied a lot of different philosophers (e.g. his teacher Searle) plus much more science.

 

Pshaw. This coming from someone who's a genuine philosophy major instead of a novice like me. ^___^

 

 

Plus... he's way hot!!

 

You know, I don't recall putting my picture up here.

[Guest aexapo]

Thanks for the warm welcome.  My wife always thought I was overboard on religion anyway.  She was raised a Lutheran, and she believes in God, as long as you don't take it too serious.  So, I'm still testing the waters to see how she is going to react to my complete turn of events. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

It is amazing that those of us from the fundy-costal wings of Christianity seem more likely to dump the faith completely than those from the "not-so-serious" faiths. Among Baptists and Pentecostals alike, God, Satan, Heaven, Hell are all black & white issues -- no grey in between. You're either on board, or your not.

 

I think the polarized viewpoint helped me reject it wholesale -- and I retain that same attitude: it has to be ALL right, or ALL wrong -- Christianity can't have it both ways.

 

And if it somehow still is, I would still refuse to worship a god that has in the past condoned or commanded slavery, genocide, murder, war, killing of children, etc. If there is a Great Judgment day, I'll have to prove another "bible prophecy" wrong . . . I will neither bow, nor confess.

[Ouroboros]

WELCOME! Mythra.

 

So good to see more people coming on board.

[Mythra]

aexapo-

I agree with you. I could never take just the parts of the Bible I liked and ignore the rest. That seems to be what a lot of Christians do..

 

Some call it the buffet approach to Christianity

 

I would read books by Philip Yancey or Max Lucado (who are both wonderful Christian authors) , but they always focus strictly on the grace side of god, the loving wonderful god who cares so much for us.

 

And if that's all that the bible was, I'd still be a Christian

 

But I could never get it out of my mind, that this is not totally what the biblical representation of god is. It's only a small part. There seems to be a lot more of gods wrath and anger and judgement than love.

 

No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I prayed and struggled, it never seemed to be enough. The Bible just keeps raising and raising the bar. It's a never ending struggle. It had me tied up in knots.

 

Maybe that's why people with the "polarized viewpoint", as you say, are more likely to leave. They actually READ the bible, and try to do it. Many people who call themselves Christians, and even Catholics, have no idea what all is in the bible. If you ask them if they are a Christian, they look at you, like, "well, yeah, of course, isn't everyone"? You know, just to be on the safe side. That's why I think polls showing how "christian" the u.s. is are bunk. Most of the people I know are this kind of christian.

 

Why would anyone who had this kind of religion struggle with it or feel the need to abandon it? It's not inconvenient at all, so why ditch it?

 

I just couldn't do it. I used to get up at 3:00 in the morning, every morning so I could spend three hours praying and reading the bible before I had to get ready for work. I took it really really seriously.

 

Oh, well. I guess now I'll take apostacy really really seriously. From one obsession to another.

 

just some random thoughts.

[Guest aexapo]

aexapo-

        I agree with you.  I could never take just the parts of the Bible I liked and ignore the rest.  That seems to be what a lot of Christians do..

 

Some call it the buffet approach to Christianity

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

this made me think of some of the other blatant hypocricies among Christians -- particularly those who don't read the Bible. Our schools seem so sensitive that they're ever ready to ban such books as Huckleberry Finn, or Heather Has Two Mommies, but why are those willing to keep Bibles in school libraries (or return them)? If kids WERE ever inclined to pick up the "good book," how could the school librarian explain such stuff as "he who spilleth his seed," or Righteous Lot's incestious affair with his daughters?

 

If anything should be banned, the Bible should be banned -- mostly because it is racist, sexist, hate literature.

 

Instead, they treat the Bible like their drunk uncle who was once arrested for being "improper" with children -- they ignore the parts the don't like, or use that blanket statement "things changed when Jesus came."

 

So, apparently, Jesus not only cleansed us from our sins, but he also cleansed the Bible.

[Mythra]

God in the OT is almost too strange to take seriously. But even in the New Test. I would read things like, "if we say we have no sin, we call God a liar", and it would be like, o.k., I get that. Even Christians sin. So ask forgiveness and move on.

 

Then a few sentences later I'd read, "If we say we belong to God, but go on sinning, we call God a liar". At that point, it would be, "now, wait a f--ing minute here"... (only of course, I wouldn't actually THINK the F word)

 

Or, "anyone who does not forsake all that he has cannot be my disciple". I never EVER met a christian who forsaked all that he had on account of JEsssus.

[Ouroboros]

Some call it the buffet approach to Christianity

 

It’s also called the "Salad bar" Christians.

[spamandham]

One Sunday, while the preacher was saying that God would put a curse on you and your children if you didn't tithe, I spiritually crashed.  I felt like I was completely losing it.  I packed up my music gear after service, told the Pastor I was done.  I left and haven't looked back.

 

Balls (assuming male), guts, cohones, and cudos!

 

You're my new idol.

 

Welcome aboard!

[Mythra]

Balls (assuming male), guts, cohones, and cudos!

 

You're my new idol.

 

Welcome aboard!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Thanks, man. I felt like a real dick leaving their music program in shambles, but it was to the point where it no longer felt like a choice. I felt like I HAD to get outta there. I couldn't contribute to it anymore. The church I was in was a real fire and brimstone, BE YE PERFECT AS I AM PERFECT church. Who can live up to that shit?

 

I could see the effect it was having on some of the teens there. I felt the worst for them. One girl even thought she was possessed by a demon and asked to be exorcised.

 

Let em make up their own minds for fuck's sake. Their parents made em go, even though they were 15, 16, 17 years old. I hope my leaving inspired some of em not to swallow the whole enchilada without questioning anything.

[Ouroboros]

Exercise is better than exorcism.