Death In The Family?

[mick]

You know I just felt like saying this one thing. I wrote a long letter to my pastor recently. (I posted it here somewhere) telling him why I was leaving Christianity.

 

He actually said one thing that really makes me mad. He said this is like a "death in the family". I really didn't care about it at first. But later I'm thinking, "hey, I'M not dead"? and "Hey, I'm still here, alive. It's still me. I just can't believe in the same invisible, unprovable stuff you do anymore." or the moral attrocity of it all. Weird, I'm dead now, because I will not embrace genecode, infanticide, baby slaughtering, etc, etc, etc. Anyway just wanted to share that out.

[Taphophilia]

A perfect example of how Christianity is such a death cult. Your eternal soul is lost, you might as well be dead. They are more concerneed with death than they are with life.

[R. S. Martin]

Oh yes, I was taught that if a person left the faith it was like a death. That pastor was not being original in the least. Just spouting "bright ideas" from the cult.

[Eponymic]

I just can't believe in the same invisible, unprovable stuff you do anymore." or the moral attrocity of it all. Weird, I'm dead now, because I will not embrace genecode, infanticide, baby slaughtering, etc, etc, etc. Anyway just wanted to share that out.

 

Indeed you are better off now. Fact is you can expect nothing but non-sensical, emotional based retorts most of the time from those still locked into a religious mythos. All you can do is put a little oil of truth on your back and let their comments slide on by, because it can eat you alive if you get pissed off at all the ignorance that gets spouted your way when you don't believe.

[R. S. Martin]

I'm reading the opening post again. Mick said:

 

But later I'm thinking, "hey, I'M not dead"? and "Hey, I'm still here, alive. It's still me. I just can't believe in the same invisible, unprovable stuff you do anymore." or the moral attrocity of it all. Weird, I'm dead now

 

My guess is you're feeling more alive now than you ever have. Keep your eyes on that no matter how thick the persecution. Don't "throw your pearls" to the "swine." And don't "give your treasures" to the "dogs." The xians see you as dead. Be dead to them if that is what they want. You know, and we know, that you are ALIVE.

 

Celebrate LIFE with those who love and respect you AS YOU ARE and for WHO you are. Mick, it's worth the cost of being true to yourself. There is no one else with whom you have to live 24/7 so intimately as you do with your Self. Make sure that Self is well loved, nurtured, and cared for.

 

A healthy Self meets all the requirements for heaven and any other religious establishment anywhere, i.e. it allows you to forget about Pascal's Wager because you qualify. It also makes you fully and truly human so that you are fit to walk the earth as a full-fledged human being wherever you are. A healthy, well loved and carefully nurtured Self enables you to enjoy life in the way that only humans can.

 

Happiness is not material luxury and social status. It is being at peace with one's Self. Just stay away from those people who decide your value and your right to exist based on what you think happens when you die.

 

They are toxic. They will never accept and respect you for who you are as you are. They grovel in the dirt and think it pleases some invisible friend. Let them. They have proven that they will never accept anything you can offer. They said you are dead, invisible, not there. Nobody. Nothing.

 

Find and enjoy real flesh and blood friends who value you AS YOU ARE. Give those people the gift of who you are. This is how I cope. Former friends and family have become dead to me. Maybe there will be a resurrection, maybe not. What matters is who I am and how I feel about myself as a person. I think that is what matters for everyone.

 

Some people, esp. xians, reject the idea because they imagine it corrupts a person with boastfulness and egotism and self-centeredness. They are hopelessly wrong. I've been there done that. I know. A loved and nurtured self does not feel the need for self-promotion. A happy person does not feel driven to prove they are good enough. They just know they are. There's more important things in life. As the say:

 

LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING

[twincats]

RubySera's right. Plus, the alternative is to have them trying to "resurrect" you in the faith, however much of that you can stomach.

 

Sometimes, some of the 'family' will be able to accept you on your terms. You might be surprised, even though you may have to endure them trying to re-convert you for a while.

[godlessgrrl]

Y'know, though, to a Xian, nonbelievers really are dead.

 

Not dead in the sense of physically dead, lying in the ground being food for worms, or reduced to a small pile of ash and bone kind of dead. Not dead in the sense of "put up a headstone and have a eulogy" dead. Not in the sense of "no more oxygen to the brain" dead. Not like that.

 

But for the Xian, life doesn't really end at the physical death. It goes on afterwards. And for the Xian, what one's afterlife is like depends wholly on two things: a person's beliefs & behaviors, and the mercy of god.

 

To a Xian, there are definite choices to be made in life that will have an impact on the quality of your afterlife. Make the right ones, and your soul will live forever, chanting endless praises to god in a heaven of eternal bliss. Make the wrong ones, and you'll either be toasted alive for eternity, or be snuffed out of existence forever (depending on your POV).

 

The "right" choice, of course, is to be a Babble-believing Xian. Which leaves annihilation for anybody who doesn't fall into the right demographic - and that'd be nonbelievers.

 

So if you don't believe, to most Xians, you may as well be dead, since they firmly believe their deity is going to snuff you out for good at the end of your life. They don't care that much about who you are in the here and now, they care more about what happens in the afterparty. If you're not going to be there, you might as well be worm food now.

 

Shitty way to look at things. The poor suckers miss out on so much.

[LosingMyReligion]

This is the onething that I've always hated about Christianity. They have no appreciation for right here and right now. They live only to die(if that makes any sense). When I was in church I spent the better part of the late 90's waiting for the rapture to come on the eve of 2000. When that didn't happen I went into a depression.

Anyway, the way I live now is so much better. To quote a line from my favorite musical, RENT, "No day but today." We don't know if there is an afterlife. So why not make the most of the life that you know for certain that you DO have?

[mick]

Gwenmead wrote

>>So if you don't believe, to most Xians, you may as well be dead, since they firmly believe their deity is going to snuff you out for good at the end of your life. They don't care that much about who you are in the here and now, they care more about what happens in the afterparty. If you're not going to be there, you might as well be worm food now.

 

Shitty way to look at things. The poor suckers miss out on so much.

 

Wow. I know I have thought about this angle before, but still, the way you put it here really is powerful and ,yes, shitty. It is completetly on the mark. I am married to one who is so fundy right now it is astonishing. I think she is actually going more crazy because I have "fallen away". She is like a Word of Faith, Name it Claim type now. She is telling me that dead people are going to start coming out of their graves in droves soon to prove God is real. She thinks that blind people SHOULD heal THEMSELVES essentially through faith, and if they don't they "blocked" it somehow. EVen when I was a believer I didn't believe like this.

 

ANyway, it makes some sense that they wouldn't want to care too much about someone who is either going to be destroyed or go to Hell. (their viewpoint, onbviously) Man, it does suck though. Christianity is one of the shittiest things that could have ever happened to this world.

 

Its funny, I was taling to a an old Christian friend last night who is being quite respectful about my choice. He says its not up to him its up to the Holy Spirit to cvhange my mind. I didn't say it, but I was thinking "Look, there will need for there to be an entirely new replacement Bible for me to beleive again. If the God of the Bible IS real, and he came to me, and this point I'd demand an apology.

[1oddmanout]

Thanks for having forum to 'share' these experiences. Like many others, I found a home in the xian faith in prison, and when released, spent much time with xians of all flavors, having tasteful discussion over the differences, but still felt like a family. However, when i decided to come out as gay, and attend a gay church, i suddenly was 'shunned'. One particularly strong and faithful lady said that I can't even email her anymore. I'm dead to her. So much for love.

[Panther]

Theres nothing worse than being "dismissed" from someone's life, especially in a quick manner. Especially when you haven't done anything wrong.

I told you about how my mother did this to me and my child (her only grandchild). It has been seven months now and it still hurts. What she said was "you and your daughter (she's eleven for cripes sake!! ) are now dead to me."

I struggle with taking it personally when I KNOW I shouldn't. Even though it's someone else's twisted mind, it's so hard not to feel hurt to the core.

It feels like ANY time spent with them in your life was just wasted time for them, as though it meant NOTHING.

I mean, it was all over so quick I felt as though we had been shot out of a rocket with no warning or landing gear...you know?

 

I'm going to give you advice that I have a hard time following in this instance, LOL, don't let it get to you. If you could be just wiped out that fast, the relationship was not valuable enough to begin with.

[riverbank]

You know I just felt like saying this one thing. I wrote a long letter to my pastor recently. (I posted it here somewhere) telling him why I was leaving Christianity.

 

He actually said one thing that really makes me mad. He said this is like a "death in the family". I really didn't care about it at first. But later I'm thinking, "hey, I'M not dead"? and "Hey, I'm still here, alive. It's still me. I just can't believe in the same invisible, unprovable stuff you do anymore." or the moral attrocity of it all. Weird, I'm dead now, because I will not embrace genecode, infanticide, baby slaughtering, etc, etc, etc. Anyway just wanted to share that out.

 

Bloody hell, my old pastors certainly didn't react like that. They didn't appear to give a shit. That was quite disconcerting aswell. At least your pastor DID CARE that you left Christianity. At least give him that. Considering I was the longest serving member of my pastors church, apart from their family, and had known them for 15 years, I was almost amazed that they didn't even bat an eyelid.