Ahh! Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 When I was in the 4th Grade, I prayed to Satan to beat the living sh!t out of someone I hated. My logic? God would forgive me for praying to Satan if I asked Him to, it would be Satan's sin, not mine, if he actually did it, and Satan would be more likely to harm somebody than God (I believed that for the longest time until I actually read the Bible.) Isn't a 9 year old's understanding of religion a great thing? Anyone else pray to Satan like that when they were younger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrisonjj Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 [quote name='Ahh!' date='Sep 18 2007, 12:24 AM' jesusfuckingchrist! Satan is as make believe as god! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lycorth Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Never prayed to Satan; did do some LaVeyan Satanic ritual a couple of times later in life, with about as much results as praying to an actual being named "Satan" would have done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahh! Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 [quote name='Ahh!' date='Sep 18 2007, 12:24 AM' jesusfuckingchrist! Satan is as make believe as god! Did you catch that I was nine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahh! Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Never prayed to Satan; did do some LaVeyan Satanic ritual a couple of times later in life, with about as much results as praying to an actual being named "Satan" would have done. Yeah, LaVey's magic, while entertaining, is about as reliable as a Magic 8 Ball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Wolf Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 No. It was strongly emphasized by my mom that I never talk, make a deal, or bet with the Devil. First time I heard the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia, I received a lecture about not making a bet with the Devil like Johnny did in the song. I was maybe 5 or six years old. Yeah, LaVey's magic, while entertaining, is about as reliable as a Magic 8 Ball. Well, LaVey Satanism is an atheistic philosophy, and the rituals are to please the 'caster' and no one else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Well, LaVey Satanism is an atheistic philosophy, and the rituals are to please the 'caster' and no one else. What, no signing your name in blood on old parchment under a contract in a language you can't read? I'm terribly disappointed! Casey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I remember one Boy Scout summer camp telling both God and Satan to leave my friend alone. He was having a rough time, and it was a time in my life I was trying to believe very badly. But I always felt in the middle, never on either side. Still that way, but I have better imaginary friends to chat with now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyb Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I used to feel sorry for Satan when I was a kid, and I would sort of try to send out telepathic messages to him and ask him to repent. I told him I thought Jesus would probably forgive him if he'd just give up the whole rebellion thing. It seemed to make sense at the time...lol...I was probably 9ish, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red_Pyramid Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 When I was in the 4th Grade, I prayed to Satan to beat the living sh!t out of someone I hated. My logic? God would forgive me for praying to Satan if I asked Him to, it would be Satan's sin, not mine, if he actually did it, and Satan would be more likely to harm somebody than God (I believed that for the longest time until I actually read the Bible.) Isn't a 9 year old's understanding of religion a great thing? Anyone else pray to Satan like that when they were younger? I loved the the literary character of Satan. But as I wised up and realized that God was far more evil, worshiping Satan seems more and more meaningless (should have just prayed to God, he's been that brutal to those that have had vengeance prayed upon them), not to mention the flaws of christianity and religion itself show that it's just untrue to begin with... It seems that either God is completely diabolical, or a darker force is actually in control of everything... Bleh the bible is just crap, written by man, reflecting his/her (mostly his, as it's almost thoroughly masogonistic) subjective flaws... End of discussion... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 "Get thee behind me Satan!" Is that a prayer? I've used that one as an adult when I thought Satan was interfering or tempting me unnecessarily. Strangely, I never get that type of temptation anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 Satan: He doesn't exist yet he's some inmate on a cosmic Death Row according to Christians and in terms of our morality- I'd say Satan's closer to our morals than the equally non existent God. Oh, the day we humans give up scapegoats/gods/esses/demons/angel/black/white morality completely, I'd shout you all bottles of Moet if I had the money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insanity personified Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 You did that too?? haha I used to pray to satan just out of curiosity, you know just to see what happens...and because in my mind it made me a rebel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 When I was in the 4th Grade, I prayed to Satan to beat the living sh!t out of someone I hated. My logic? God would forgive me for praying to Satan if I asked Him to, it would be Satan's sin, not mine, if he actually did it, and Satan would be more likely to harm somebody than God (I believed that for the longest time until I actually read the Bible.) Isn't a 9 year old's understanding of religion a great thing? Anyone else pray to Satan like that when they were younger? TBH, most adult Christians would follow that logic.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Wolf Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 Reading through this thread, I remembered how I use to be scared shitless of Satan. Hell, if he walked up to me now, I'd actually feel very comfortable in his presence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 About 20 years ago I once bravely held a Bible and a Satanic Bible together just to see what would happen. I expected some sort of glorious big explosion or annihilation event like putting matter and antimatter together or something, and I figured I would probably lose my arms as a result. Imagine my disappointment when absolutely nothing happened. I used to worship Satan occasionally when I was drunk, but I know that God forgave me and set me free through the Power of the Blood of Jesus! Hallelujah! Um, yeah... whatever... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 Hahaha- that moment was priceless, Jeff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 I have a buybull thumper inlaw that thinks satan is allways trying to get her. I guess because she thinks shes such a great xtian that she would be a big "prize"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Wolf Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 I have a buybull thumper inlaw that thinks satan is allways trying to get her. I guess because she thinks shes such a great xtian that she would be a big "prize"... Maybe. I'm fully convinced that since I am such an antagonist of Christianity and filled with the utmost hatred for them and the religion, they think I would be a trophy, and the person who converts me will get a few extra room additions to their mansion in heaven. Some Christians are like a group of vultures looking upon a dying animal towards me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 I have a buybull thumper inlaw that thinks satan is allways trying to get her. I guess because she thinks shes such a great xtian that she would be a big "prize"... Maybe. I'm fully convinced that since I am such an antagonist of Christianity and filled with the utmost hatred for them and the religion, they think I would be a trophy, and the person who converts me will get a few extra room additions to their mansion in heaven. Some Christians are like a group of vultures looking upon a dying animal towards me. Hatred is unhealthy imo. Hatred can lead to violence. Do back to them what they do to you, feel sorry for them. People being brainwashed and trying to brainwash you right long with them is good reason for anger, but a better reason for pity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Jeff Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Hahaha- that moment was priceless, Jeff! Thanks! What I ought to do now is make a movie for YouTube of me doing the same thing, but this time there would be a hugely glorious explosion with a blinding flash of Spiritual Light and the Power of God in the Bible would destroy the Power of Satan in the Satanic Bible, therefore proving that there really is a God and that He is more powerful than Satan! Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Couldn't you just have them cancel each other out, so we can all live in peace? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Reading through this thread, I remembered how I use to be scared shitless of Satan. Hell, if he walked up to me now, I'd actually feel very comfortable in his presence. I'm trying but can't resist posting this... A few minutes before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. "Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan. "Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone. "Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY... for all eternity?" persisted Satan. "Yep," was the calm reply. "And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan. "Nope." More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for the last 48 years." Due credit: http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Religious.htm Mongo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 The joke is great....but the deeper truth is telling. Here were very religious people, people who believed. In God's House. And yet, at the first moment of possible trouble, they run for their own lives. They don't stand up and fight for what they believe. They go and save their own skin. The only one who stays is one who has become so accustomed to being abused, even Satan himself is seen as just more of the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts