Non-Redneck Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 For those new to the deconversion process, the thought of stupid things that you've done as a Christian may come back to haunt your mind. But don't fear, we've all done stupid things as a Christian. You're not alone! One thing I remember doing was flipping open to a page in the Bible and the verse being something about demolishing idols. I had gone to a Vineyard-style retreat recently and was looking for messages from God in the Bible (which was a topic in the retreat). Based on that verse I took my "idol" of rock music (100 CDs or so) and destroyed them all. Yes. Destroyed them all. Every last CD. Such a waste of money. I suspect I must be getting better because before I would be pissed off at it. Now I'm laughing at myself and thinking what a fool I was and am making sure that I don't repeat the same mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Luckily, I never did anything drastic other than maybe alienated some people by being smug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necrosmith Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Been there, done that. I also preached to everyone at the pizza place I worked at. Embarassing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagnarus Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I came close to donating my life savings, Other than that probably the dumbest thing I did was give up a year of my life to learn how to proselytize and kill my soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndies Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 dont feel too bad. i did the same thing back in the late 70's and 80' (b4 CDs) and tossed out some really good cassettes because i was brainwashed into thinking rock n' roll was evil. so retarded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ephymeris Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I tithed a large amount of money for a specific reason...I could have used that money but instead the heads of my church greedily sucked it down and then blew the cash on themselves. I was really hurt and angry but above all, embarrassed. I never wanted the church congregation to know I gave the money so I couldn't really blow the whistle without feeling like a hypocrite(the preachers, however, knew it was me doing the giving and why) Anyway, still embarrassed over that whole deal and how it went down... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Donating to the 700 club all my babysitting and birthday money....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I have probably given a small fortune to the church over a period of years as a fundy. I starved myself almost to death to make sure I supported the church. When times got really bad, when I asked for help in return, the church said they were too broke to help. With around 200 members, where did the money go? Who knows? People who were not Christians brought food to my house and invited me to eat with them. They knew I was working for God and helped me out, yet Christians treated me like scum for asking for food. The atheists did not. They fed me and helped me fix my car and put tires on it and never asked for a dime back in return. Just a little kindness can go a very long way with me. I would have to say that that also had a role to play in my deconversion a few years later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TedGresham Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I could write a book about my Christian life and the title would be, "Stupid Me!" Actually, though, I was not being stupid, I was following my faith. Hind sight, being perfect, we can see how stupid many things we did were. But that's because we've turned the light off. (As opposed to "seeing the light.") ALMOST everything I did as a Christian was done because of the flawed logic that is the basis of Christianity. Looking back, there are a few choice moments. At age 15 I quit my first job because my boss would not let me off to go to a youth service. (I told him to go eat a frog, too. That wasn't very Christian of me, was it?) I quit my NEXT job for about the same reason. Me and god had a tough relationship. Sometimes I did stupid things because I thought god had walked away from me and didn't love me. I got so depressed when I was in the military I took some prescription pills and changed the whole course of my life. Not for the good. I think I was a budding atheist for a very long time but just would not admit it to myself. That god was NOT there is obvious now because there was not one to be there but all those years on one hand I gave up and threw away all kinds of things and parts of my life to evangelize and "serve god" while on the other side I knew there was something really, really wrong somewhere. The second stupidest thing I did as a Christian was to trust people because they were supposed to be Christians. How many times did I put confidence in a Christian or a group of Christians to ACT like Christians. They never did. I got screwed, got my heart broken, got trampled. I just got up and dusted off until the last time when I'd had all of Christianity I could take anyway. The most stupid thing I did, though, was badger my wife to be a better Christian. I would point out how she was not "living up" to what god expected. In a few unkind ways and a lot of little ways I made her feel small and insecure. We were so in love and the "perfect couple" once upon a time. I killed that. Nothing is worse in Christianity than judgmentalism. Nothing. Looking down the nose at others is the ultimate stupid and hateful thing anyone can do. For all the idiotic beliefs, rituals, sacrifices, what have you of religion, the conceited pompous attitude is the one thing that makes it horrible and dangerous. I have repented of my Christianity. I have apologized profusely to my wife for my attitude. She has forgiven me. But the relationship we should have, we did have, is gone. The stupidest thing I ever did as a Christian was to be a totally judgmental ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Too many things to mention. The dumbest thing was that my whole attitude about life, school, and career was based on the belief that Jesus would come tomorrow, so I didn't care about things I should have, didn't study, and didn't work hard on success. Had I known and understood that the world works by natural order, I would have taken a whole different approach to it all and not wasted thirty years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Anything done in the name of Christianity is really pretty embarrassing, or should be. As for me: Pledged more money than I could afford expecting a miracle to help me get the money. I still owe the money I suppose... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roan7995 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I pestered friends in high school to read the bible. Gag. After that phase was over, they had the attitude of "What the hell was that all about?" lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FourDogBrewing Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I can't think of a single moment or action that I would be embarrassed of. In retrospect though I am sure I was too righteous and stuck up to perfectly good and normal people that I worked with etc... If I had to pick one thing, probably would be that very early on in my relationship with my wife, when we started dating, I think I treated her more poorly than I should have, and gave her a lot of crap because she wasn't as religious as I thought she should be. That is a regret that I am ashamed of, wish I had been more open minded and not so judgmental back then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Non-Redneck Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 The second stupidest thing I did as a Christian was to trust people because they were supposed to be Christians. How many times did I put confidence in a Christian or a group of Christians to ACT like Christians. They never did. I got screwed, got my heart broken, got trampled. I just got up and dusted off until the last time when I'd had all of Christianity I could take anyway. Yeah, that happened to me many times. Though I learned a valuable lesson from it. Be wary of Christians and never let your guard down around them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skepticaldude541 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Hmm.. I gave money a lot... Spent quite a bit on Christian books... But the stupidest thing I did was act like a self-righteous bastard and alienate even the Christian community I was part of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I would say the stupidest thing I did was during my time as a brainwashed catholic pro lifer. I was close to the influence of the type of people who condoned violence against abortion providers and clinics and ran those fake crisis pregancy centers (and this was a country where it was illegal to begin with). I was pretty young at the time (12 or so) so I didn't do anything major with them (luckily). My views changed very quickly in my mid teens when I heard arguments for the pro choice side, which I actually had never been exposed to. I'm still ashamed over the things I agreed with back then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
semilucid Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Let's see. I spent several years being paralyzed by the thought of hell. Rejected the idea of evolution and much of science. Made fun of some Wiccan kid at school. Scribbled over some drawings I had spent several hours on just because they contained naked people. And I made the mistake of responding to an altar call in a pentecostal church. The crazy one eyed pastor put some oil on top of my head and tried pressuring me into speaking gibberish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 The most shameful thing for me are the occasions where I preached to roomfuls of "unchurched" high school and junior high kids. I have a gift for public speaking, and I emotionally abused the shit out of those kids with it, even making some of them cry and freak out. I'm glad I never became a full-blown preacher. The most cringe inducing "shit fuck shit fuck god dammit" long-term thing would be me having kept my dick in my pants. So many blown opportunities. I can only imagine the extent of the head-fucking done by me disallowing myself from fucking. God damn it hurts to think about it. Not to mention the demons and other deep end kook Pentecostal bat-shittiness. I also cringe when I recall the times where we would be proselytizing on the Venice Beach boardwalk. God, we must have been so obnoxious to those people we were bothering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 There are a lot of regrets that I have, but not a ton of things I would have considered stupid. This morning, however, I was blatantly reminded of one thing that I know I was just as guilty of as my parents - that of giving a lot of lip service to ideas about preserving the environment, but in reality, basically doing absolutely nothing about. This came up after a thread on FB started by my sister commenting that she was wondering what religion and environmental science had to do with after one of her science teachers went on a rant for 50 minutes. Both of my parents chimed in commenting on how "we're supposed to take care of god's earth" and other such crap - yet neither one of them does a damn thing about the environment, hell, they both insist on using it up about as much as any other good midwester christian. And I know I was the same when I was still a christian. Sure, I gave it lip service, but never actually did anything about it. So, there is that one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking26 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I did many things as a Christian that I regret and now think were stupid. I was doing open air evangelism starting at age 15, went door to door several times in Bible College, but I think the worst thing was that I never got a useful college education because I thought it was god's will for women to be wives and mothers. I think probably the most embarrassing thing was probably my clothes, I wore long dresses every day for a long period of time due to some OT verse about women wearing men's clothes being an abomination. They weren't even "nice" long dresses, most of them were second hand......ewww. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I did MANY stupid things during my deconversion (and it was a very, very long deconversion). One night I was having trouble getting over the second step of a twelve step program (Step 2-Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity). (by the way, I never got through that step). Anyway I was up in the hills of central-eastern CA during a bad lightning storm and I wanted to test god, just to see if he was real. So I walked out in the middle of this storm with my hands in the air yelling "God, if your there then prove it" while lightning was striking around me, within 100 yards at times. Anyway I lived through it. Some may say that God answered my prayers by letting me live. I think I was just a lucky dumb-ass. I guess I'm just a Lucky Atheist now who makes slightly better choices for testing a make believe friend. Looking back, another stupid thing I did as a christian was PRAY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight-mindwanderings Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Stupidest thing I did. Well, I was 16 when I deconverted so its hard to say if anything I did before then was stupid because of Christianity or because I was that age. But one thing I know Christianity is to blame for is me being entirely submissive. Submissive to my parents, to all adults and especially males. Even my younger brother ended up being able to dominate me unless he was acting violent against my youngest brother and then I would step in. I don't really want to go into the horrible things this led to, but you can see that this attitude is completely self destructive anyhow. I was obsessed with being godly and for me that meant being submissive and obedient. From a material standpoint, I threw away any clothes I wore that got me attention from the opposite sex. I had a weird back and forth within me because I liked pretty clothes and they really did look good on me. But for some reason being noticed for it would make me feel very sinful. I am glad that I always had non-christian friends and I never evangelized. Part of why I didn't evangelize is because I was female and so not supposed to teach the gospel anyway but that whole submissive thing had to be beneficial some time. I also didn't give very much money ever but again, never had any to give before I left. I am glad that my parents were poor but still smart enough to not try to tithe. They gave maybe $5-$10 a week and not always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apostate Nate Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Like many have stated already, I'm guilty of proselytizing to people I shouldn't have and alienating myself from others because of my self-righteous attitude. But there's also a particular event from my childhood days that comes to mind: When I was eight years old I used to spend hours per day making Creepy Crawlers at home. I would then sell them at my elementary school for a nickel a piece. Over the course of a month I managed to collect about $20 in coins as a result of my sales. Rather than using the money to cover my operational costs for my "business" or spend it on some sweet toys, I put it all in a zip-lock bag and placed it in my church's offering plate one Sunday morning. Granted, I don't particularly miss the money now since I hadn't really given up very much, but it's the principle of the matter. About a week after I had given the money away I realized that I could've put that money to much better use. Thankfully, it taught me from an early age that I should be more careful about to whom I should give my hard-earned money. It was therefore the first and only time I've ever made a donation to a religious group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 One twinge of shame involves all the "attention whoring" I engaged in. I had an "awesome testimony" (allegedy, Jebus healed me of severe mental illness; in hindsight nobody knows what the fuck was going on) and I was always conniving for opportunities to "give" it in front of a crowd so that they would kiss my ass afterwards. I guess it was because I felt like I was otherwise a complete substandard nobody, and that my "awesome testimony" was the only way I would get any appreciation or praise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smellincoffee Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I spent a lot of money on crappy books and music, not to mention helped financially support a lunatic with my "tithes" from my allowance. 'Thank God' I was too wordly to start tithing from paychecks when I got my first job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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