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Something Goes, Something Comes

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yunea

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My new glasses arrived on Monday. If I was still religious the way I used to be, I'd meditate on the coincidence in how in my old glasses the left lens was so wrong, I wasn't really using the eye and thus not seeing properly without knowing I wasn't, and now that I've gone through all the deconversion and all the changes it's brought, I also got these new glasses and the world looks physically quite different because I use both my eyes again.

 

Staircases look the weirdest. The craziest thing is though that it's easier to climb them without stumbling now.

 

It's funny. Though it's not like my deconversion itself brought my new glasses or anything like that. Money did, and me getting slowly over my depression, and becoming more able to do long overdue things like that.

 

One of my pet snails died on Sunday. He was one of my Cepaea hortensis, thus a quite small snail, but it made me sad anyway. Even the little ones are their own individual characters. I didn't really believe it until I saw it myself. I'll always remember this very snail because he taught me the most lessons about it when I was a snailkeeping newbie.

 

I've been getting some requests about what to blog about, and I promise I'll consider them. There are also many memories and many, many thoughts that I wish I could put into words. It'd also help me with some of the things about my deconversion that I need to work on to continue living as healthy as possible.

 

It's the surprising situations where I notice it. I got a phonecall the other day, and things about the worst that happened came up in the conversation, because I was called by the police. I burst into tears when I heard myself saying those things.

 

A part of me still wants to pretend it wasn't real and just get on with life, fill it up with so much work that I don't have the time to think about those memories, but something within me shifted so dramatically as a result of all that happened, I can't pretend I haven't changed without feeling that I have.

 

Writing that made my words dry out.

 

See you later, dear Blog.

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yunea, I'm sorry your pet snail died. sad.png

I'm glad your new glasses have improved how you see your world. smile.png

I like the way you write. Please keep blogging.

 

Human

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