“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
Once upon a time, there was a girl who stopped believing in love. She was cynical about marriage, and thought that it was everyone’s problem, but her own. She and her father had so many problems between the two of them, that they seemed insurmountable, at times. The girl had once left faith, but then she returned to it…and it all felt different than before. Better.
Someone told the girl one day about ‘loving from the inside out.’ She thought about it, and wondered what on earth does that mean? It seems that it’s all about loving yourself first, before you can love anyone else. Until you master this, you will never be interested in loving someone else. Hmmm…seems rather simple to figure out, no? So, the girl set out to love herself, and it ended up being harder than she would have anticipated. See, much of what we dislike about ourselves comes in the form of voices that have demeaned us perhaps during our childhood, or maybe in a peer group. Maybe we experienced an abusive relationship, and those negative voices from an ex are still rolling over and over in our minds. Ever notice it’s easier to churn negative thoughts about ourselves in our minds, than it is to stir up positive ones? Hmmm….
The girl came to a rightful conclusion that her childhood had some healing to do, and that carrying around that broken little girl was just becoming too exhausting. Everywhere she went, and every relationship she had, that broken little girl…was on her back. Ever carry someone around, forever? Lol Well, imagine it!
Her father apologized to her time and time again, for his harsh treatment of her as a kid, but she could never bring herself to forgive him. Until one day, she prayed about it all. And then, she let it go. Into the great abyss… she let it all go. And she decided to approach her dad, and see if he wanted to take a cooking class with her. He said yes, and was delighted to be included in his daughter’s life, again. He grew tired of throwing money her way, concluding that his wealth wouldn’t erase the challenges that had welled up between him and his daughter. No, this time, he would have to step up…and just listen to her. Love her. So he did. He just loved her and an amazing thing happened one day…the girl forgave her father. She started listening to his frustrations over life, and realized that he too struggled, just like she did…with the mysteries and trials of life. He was her father, but that didn’t mean he was infallible.
So, there it was…a repaired relationship, and that broken little girl just upped and walked away. She smiled back at the girl…and waved goodbye. It was at this moment, that the girl finally found herself…her real self…and she loved what she found. She decided to stop dating for a while, and just enjoy this new life that had emerged out of nowhere. Loving from the inside out, started taking shape in her life…and she was radiant. People around her saw it in her life, and would remark that she seemed different. That she seemed….happy.
Then one fateful day…he returned. The love of her life whom she thought was gone forever, overseas…he left for a job a few years prior, and here they were after all this time, eyes locked when they saw one another again. The love was still there after all this time, how could that be? She was always so cynical and jaded…how could this love still be here before her? But it was. He asked for her hand in marriage, and it was as though everyone around them had frozen in their places. The girl said yes, and they felt like the luckiest two people alive, at that very moment.
The girl learned to love from the inside out. She loved herself and now she could extend that love to someone else. If love is meant to be, it will return to you.
I’m that girl. And I learned to forgive, to let go, to love from the inside out, to take chances, to live a life better than I ever imagined. If you want to love others, love yourself first.
Love from the inside out. <3