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Goodbye Jesus

The Bluegrass Skeptic

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TheBluegrassSkeptic

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blog-0848309001350574328.jpgSo, my kids like reading about Zeus, Osiris, and even the Japanese Kotoamatsukami. With this, I thought, well, why not rewrite the biblical stories a tad? My kids ended up LOVING this one better than the previous. Especially because I discount the importance of the mystical creator in the end, and show the creator put trust in the creatures to handle themselves without him.

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Once upon a time, in a faraway realm that none had seen or had the scope to imagine, there was a being. In this place beyond understanding, this being was quite uninvolved and uninteresting. This entity was very, very boring. Nothing to be done, nothing to see or hear. Just constant nothingness as far as the eye could see.

 

Before our existence materialized from the vast encompassing nothingness of what we today suppose would be space and time, this being just was. No histories were lent to its doings. No happenings. No thoughts. No emotion. It. Just. Was.

 

And at some point, in this being's existence, an awareness awoke. We cannot say what time or place, for without a history, there cannot be time attributed to it. With it existing in a place that is unfathomable to our mere mortal consciousnesses, it is hard to say what, if any circumstances , prompted its awareness. Yet at one moment, it became aware. Most surely this thing felt creative because at this exact moment, our beginning began.

 

"First," thought this creature, "let there be space and planets." With a blink, there was suddenly a new realm, called space, that appeared with stars, galaxies, and icy comets. In the midst of all this wonder, a little round planet formed from spare space dust and gas; very dark and motionless. This being instantly found inspiration in such a small muse and decided to make it more magnificent than any other planet in the galaxy. So, knowing such stillness and shadows would not do, this being again set to create something else even more spectacular. In front of our planet, a giant, fiery star of heat and fire came forward by mixing in bits of comet, bits of left over asteroids and a lot of extra gas that was built up from all the commotion of sudden existence. And by making this Sun, the creation of night on one side of the planet and day on the other happened! Since the sun was so bright, even at night, while one half was in darkness, there was still light as the Sun's rays illuminated a distant moon in the distance. All that was left was to put the tiny world into a steady motion so that all the planet could enjoy the beauty of night and day. Thus the orbiting solar system was formed.

 

 

Like any good artist, while observing what was created, a realization popped into the mind of this magic like creator. The little planet now had night and day, but was nothing but water! Vastless, empty, cold, and very, very dark water. Thinking that while water was beautiful to look at, a little variety would definitely be in order, with a simple thought, massive mounds of land rose from the depths of the azure oceans. Ripping through the surface of the waves came forth mountains; the land pushed the water down, creating the sky. And as water receded from the summits of these mountains, plains were formed, and many rivers sliced through the valleys to allow for plant life to begin to grow. And at the end of the day, when the birth of sky,dust, and dirt had settled, this being sat back and admired the work that had been wrought.

 

 

Much work had been accomplished in four days, but still, there was a sense of something missing. Land, water, sky and plants. Still, this world seemed empty. The sky seemed empty during the day because of the Sun's blinding light, so birds were made in all varieties and colors to please the eye and stand out in the glaring rays of sunlight. The oceans too needed more use. The vegetation had spread across the sea floor and so fish were created to help maintain the growing fields of seaweed in the ocean bottoms. And then a thought occurred, for the being grew weary on this fifth day. Instead of constantly making new creatures, why not let the animals interbreed amongst same species? More types and colors would occur naturally and save creative power for better things? Further than that, why not let happenings in the weather, food and even star dust from space have an effect on what comes forth as life? Variety is a good thing! And with that fantastic thought, the mystical being made it so, again taking a break and enjoying what was wrought.

 

 

On the morning of the sixth day, it was time to tackle the idea of creatures on land. Land was a special place. Anywhere you walk, you can feel the dust between your toes, the long grass tickling your shins, and the bushes and trees brushing your hands. While observing all the activity that was hustling and bustling in the skies and waters of this art project of a planet, a sudden thought occurred. The rustling on the land was only that of leaves and grass. And with that realization, every kind of creature for every kind of terrain began to appear. Monkeys filled the trees, ants burrowed into the ground, horses filled the plains with their bodies paced at majestic gaits. Every kind of creature that could be imagined sprang forth. Not all survived that were created. Some fell off the mountains, other drowned in the rivers when trying to cross, but the being who created them planned this to allow for young to replace what has died. Also, some creatures that were created for land, were just a bad idea in general. But, all creatures were designed to improve if given enough time. Some would find ways to camouflage, others would find ways to improvise tools. Those that were meant to survive, would find a way. When all was said and done, this mysterious being who only days ago had no inspiration or inclination to BE, became further inspired to CREATE.

 

 

Lunchtime rolled around, and after an afternoon of watching and being amused, a spark of further wonderment popped into the thoughts of this omniscient planet builder. If it weren't for the creatures, this would be a rather boring place to look at after awhile, and it occurred to the entity that a short walk through the forests and plains was in order because a view from space could simply not do justice to the appreciation of such a breathtaking place! So down came the creator, and while on this walk through the many lands created, and while observing the beautiful blooms of irises, and the striking flowering of the lotus, there was a warm feeling of contentment and pleasure rushing through this creature's soul. The guffawing of the donkey gave such a rush of pleasure that the being couldn't help but say aloud, "Isn't this wonderful? Isn't this marvelous?" And with much dismay, there crept in the realization that no one responded. Instantly, knowledge of what was missing became clear. Intelligent life was no where to be found. How could one appreciate what there was to be had if not intelligent enough to realize how good it was to begin with?

 

 

Certainly it was impossible for the creator to create more intelligent beings. Creators cannot create creators. So, looking around on the planet, much thought was put into which creature would best develop more appreciation for its surroundings? Observing the tiger, at first, because of the adept movement and ability to hunt, it was quickly discarded because it played with its food. Fish were out of the question because they could not survive on land, but land creatures could swim in the seas. Definitely a land creature would fit the bill, but which one.

 

 

And while sitting there, carefully evaluating all the creatures available for potential, a small monkey fell out of the tree nearby. Watching it with captivated interest, the monkey's group members called out to it, reached out for it, and even came down to find out what was wrong and help it back up the tree. Nimbly walking across the land, easily harvesting food for its group, and most certainly could cross water if necessary, the mysterious being decided that potential for appreciation and development lay within the hominid species that was created some days ago. On top of that, seeing the basic foundation for such behavior was already apparent in this species, the being decided to not worry about such things since they would most certainly take care of themselves, and went back to space from whence it came, observing and enjoying the spectacle of the little planet below that is now called Earth.

 

To this day, no one knows for sure how we were created. Some say a magical being did it, some say it was the mixing of different elements in space, and others say we were slugs that crawled off an asteroid millions of years ago. Some say it was a little of all three! What do you think?

 

 

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I just wanted to reiterate this is a rework for my kids. They are 85% atheistic in their views at this point, but they love mythology and understand the ridiculous nature of it. That was the whole format for this as well.

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