What Started Your Deconversion?

[HoustonHorn]

Although I'm not quite ready to call my experiences a deconversion, it's getting close. For now I suppose a "period of doubt" is probably closer.

 

What was the trigger for y'all to start going away from Christianity, or religion in general? I've got it narrowed down to two. 1) A preacher that said all people are inherently evil. I just can't accept that. 2) People telling me that I have to believe a specific interpretation of a Biblical verse.

[Ouroboros]

I'm not sure what started it. I think it was more like a process of compiling events, experiences and thoughts that eventually lead to me loosing my faith. The day when I lost it, my whole body and my whole mind was in unison, that God doesn't exist, while my emotions still wanted a God to exist, but I knew s/he/it didn't.

 

I can relate to preachers saying stupid things, or that it was impossible to really for sure know how the Bible was supposed to be interpreted most of the time, but that really didn't take it away. Not completely at least. Maybe all small doubts just built up to the Big Doubt?

[LosingMyReligion]

1.) The Bush Administration

 

2.) My sexuality

 

3.) The bible makes no sense whatsoever...

 

4.) The insanity of believing that supernatural forces are responsible for every waking occurence.

[Thurisaz]

What was the trigger for y'all to start going away from Christianity...

 

Inasmuch as I was a christian before (largely just nominally, like the vast majority of Germanx ), my deconversion speed went from zero to overdrive when I started to read the Poetic Edda. Heh, if I ever had a "religious revelation" then it was this very evening. Was careful enough to force myself to contemplate the situation for a few days, then kissed jebus goodbye for Thor

[thunderbolt]

I came to a point where my theology shifted, I lost my fear of hell, and along with that came the freedom to question EVERYTHING. I basically got sick and tired of 30,000 denominations all claiming to have the “truth” and that they alone by some act of God are worshipping the right brand of Jesus. I.E. – the ambiguity of god’s message pushed me over the edge. His silence was killing me slowly ...

[greygirl]

I never had a big period of soul searching or anything like that. I was raised in the church, and believed it as much as a child is able. I grew up going to church every Sunday, and saying my prayers and if you'd asked me if Jesus was my lord and savior, I would have said yes. And then one Sunday when I was in my early teens, I was sitting in Sunday school, listening to the lesson, and thought "This is a load of crap! They expect me to believe this?" And then it was over. I told my mom that same day that I didn't want to go to church anymore, and she didn't force me. I didn't have any real problems until the kids at school realized I wasn't going to church anymore.

[Gobbler]

For me, since I was teaching this crap to young people, began to question what I was teaching. Also asking myself, "Why does it have to be like this?" As far as how a supposed diety who created this vast universe would require worship from lowly human beings or why he/she would give a shit in the first place! Making us like we are and then punishing us for not being perfect and sending us to eternal damnation!

[chefranden]

Ezekiel 18

[Angel]

For me, since I was teaching this crap to young people, began to question what I was teaching.

 

That is what I believe started the ball rolling with my own deconversion. Mind you, I had a lot of bad experiences with others, but still held on to the faith. It was not until I started to teach children in Sunday School, REALLY looking at the lessons, it started to work on me. The bible became the bible's worst enemy. When I left church, I still had some faith, but it was weak. When I started reading more, looking up stuff on the net, I realized that I had been in a big, huge, lie....not only that, but I was teaching it. *UGH* That is something that I really regret...teaching the kids about hell and all that.

[Guest Emerson]

A number of things, as soon as I started believing in christianity, I also started to have doubts. I'd get books on it to justify what I believed was true and not a lie. My grandparents weren't christian, and I just couldn't believe that they would end up in hell because of that.

 

My best friend back in high school was bisexual and we both had a hard time with how that fit into religion, you see she was the daughter of a pastor! Why would god send anyone to hell for being gay? Its not harming anyone. Why would god create human beings gay and then send them to hell? That doesn't make sense to me. I didn't want my friend to go to hell and I really questioned the bible on that.

 

Most of all I hated feeling guilty of things that I liked. I hate feeling confused, lost, like I could never do enough to please god, it sucked so much. I finally got over it, but it was hard to break away, sometimes things will creep up like doubts but its not as common as it was before.

 

I love my freedom, the way that I feel now and the peace I feel, is what I NEVER had as a xtian. What a huge difference.

[Gobbler]

I love my freedom, the way that I feel now and the peace I feel, is what I NEVER had as a xtian. What a huge difference.

 

Isn't that the ironic part about it? We were supposed to have all this "freedom in christ" bullshit when we were christians. I was always fighting the flesh, principalities, or whatever else horseshit it says to fight against. A constant struggle. Never good enough in my own eyes. Now I realize I'm just human, therein lies freedom!

[Taphophilia]

I bought my first computer in 2000 and was on line. I had access to all this information, anything I wanted to know, I just typed it in and tons of webpages came up. Way too Cool!

 

I had always had a love of history, and googled Christian history. I kept reading about "Ancient Pagan roots of Christianity." I had never heard of such a thing. I was confused.

 

I started reading about it. Some books that outlined Ancient Paganism and Christianity were mentioned in websites. I went to the local library and requested the books through the lending library system. I was amazed. These books explained that I had been told to believe wasn't true.

 

I prayed and asked God to show me anything, even tinyest little shred outside the Bible or Christianity that supported that Christianity was true and that Jesus was the Son of God.

 

*crickets chirping*

 

Nothing, so I prayed harder. My very soul was on the line.

 

*crickets chirping*

 

Nothing again, where was God when I really need Him? So I prayed more.

 

*crickets chirping*

 

Ugh! God! Where are you!?!??!!!!!!

 

I started getting really pissed. He'd answered my prayers before, I was sure of it. Why wouldn't He answer this one?

 

He'd revealed Himself to me countless times before and spoke to my heart. I had witnessed for Him and He'd given me the right words to say, so I could bring others to Christ. Of this, I was certain! Now, when I really needed him to answer me, he wouldn't bother. I felt abondoned and alone.

 

Then something happened. I started seeing how ridiculous it all was. I started looking at Christianity from the outside looking in and I didn't like what I saw. I saw Christianity as nothing more than an ancient urban legend with a few more urban legends, like the rapture, added to it later.

 

I had believed with my whole heart in a lie, told to me by people who didn't know they were lying.

 

Taph

[LosingMyReligion]

That is the great irony of it all...

 

 

I joined this religion to have peace of mind...

 

However, Christianity nearly drove me to the brink of insanity.

 

I don't see why it is necessary to fight being human. Embrace and love who you are. The rest is just details.

 

And I learned that without reading a 2,000 year old rule book....hmph!

[RedFox]

At first, it was little things I learned in school or by reading stuff like the priests telling the Hebrews not to eat pork so they won't get sick and the idea of dogs eating Jesus' body. I started to deconvert when I read of the crap in the OT. I won't want to worship Jesus if he said he was of the same god as the OT god. Then I also read sites on how Jesus could be a myth.

[Ouroboros]

Nothing, so I prayed harder. My very soul was on the line.

 

*crickets chirping*

Didn't you know the crickets chirping was a sign from God? Didn't you get the PM?

[Lycorth]

Gods, where to begin...?

 

Part of what helped chip away at my stubborn Xian foundation was my long-standing interest in Asatru. Every time I was exposed to it as a young man, I felt more than a strong pull towards it. Years ago, I was always THISCLOSE to coverting to it, but my Xianity just hadn't run its course yet, so sadly, I was still wearing the cross and not the Hammer. But at least three separate instances of Odinic inspiration (if you will ) served to instill in me a healthy respect and undying interest in Asatru.

 

Life on my own droves quite a few nails into the Xian coffin. Seeing that my life didn't fall apart when I didn't run to church every time I was told to was a big help, and seeing how utterly useless and time-wasting Xian rituals and faith were turned me into a severely lax Xian. I probably went to Mass only about ten times or less in the two years I was living abroad. That's eeevil for a Catholic, hehe.

 

After breaking up with my ex, I nearly became Deist, and was studying that philosophy deeply. It influenced more and more of my outlook on myself and the universe as I struggled to cope with my breakup and the various issues in my life the "relationship" caused. But still, not enough.

 

My fiancee, however, was the last straw. She was a falling-away Xian herself when we got together, and her own leanings towards Paganism and freethinking influenced me a lot. It was the last bit of help I needed; in maybe a month after she and I got close, I ditched the cross forever and dubbed myself a Deist. I also began to look at my old flame of Asatru, this time from outside the Xian cult, and in short order I donned a Mjolnir amulet, eventually coming to consider myself a proper Odinist with a heavy freethinking streak

 

Xianity cannot be further in my past now

[Evelyn]

With me, I went back and forth from xian to ex-xian for years. If this web site or similar group had been around back then (I didn't look for a support group at the time), I might have stayed away, but I kept coming back for various reasons.

 

After drifting towards liberal xianity but being spiritually dead, or so it seemed to me, I began to explore Buddhism and liked what I saw. I knew, though, that this was not right in xian eyes. Then I got frustrated. I wanted to continue my Buddhist studies but felt stopped by xianity. However, xianity was no longer "doing it" for me. That and the Episcopal church ordaining a gay bishop, which I was happy about but soon realized that others in the general church (not the one I went to) were saying was not scriptural, made me decide that:

 

1) I was going to move ahead with my spiritual path because being frustrated was not the way to live.

 

2) My deep-down belief and/or value that gays are normal people didn't match what some scripture or doctrine said, so why am I in this church? See ya, I'm outta here!

 

I could also say that I finally gave in to my doubts about xianity after fighting them for years.

 

As a side note, after this defining point, I lost interest in Buddhism for some reason. I looked at Wicca for a while but it was too complicated. I'm somewhat interested in goddess spirituality, though that has cooled a bit. I classify myself as agnostic, not quite atheist. My views about the existence or non-existence of a god or supreme being are still evolving.

[SunNSand4me]

1. Osama bin Laden - the more I learned about radical Islam after 9/11, the more similarities I saw with fundamental Christianity and the more I realized our world would be far better off without any holy dogma

 

2. The bible - inconsistencies, inprobabilities, grandios myths

 

3. Christians - 'nuff said

 

I could make a long list, but those are my top three

[Taphophilia]

Nothing, so I prayed harder. My very soul was on the line.

 

*crickets chirping*

Didn't you know the crickets chirping was a sign from God? Didn't you get the PM?

 

That was one theory, but then I discovered it was really tinnitis.

 

"Tinnitus, "ringing ears" or ear noise is a phenomenon of the nervous system connected to the ear, characterised by perception of a ringing, clicking, or chirping sounds."

[JGJ@ReligionisBullshit]

What did it for me was attending a Methodist College for 2 years with 4 classes in religion and 2 in philosophy. Reading and studying the Bible, summarizing every chapter, would have been enough but when you add world religions, philosophy, and the history of Jewish traditions and customs it kinds of nails the coffin closed.

[godlessgrrl]

I know exactly what it was that got the ball rolling.

 

It was in 1997 when I was still a somewhat-conservative Xian. My paternal grandmother had been diagnosed with lung cancer in 1996, shortly after my first wedding; she had chemo and it bought her an extra 8 months or so with us, but in spring of 1997 it metastasized to her liver and she died within 3 months, a week after Mother's Day.

 

During some conversation or other my devout fundy mother mentioned that while she hoped it wasn't true, she felt that because my gma had never said the Magic Jeezus Words™ that she was most likely in hell. I don't remember if I answered her or not, but I remember feeling puzzled... my grandmother was probably the only person who loved me unconditionally; she certainly loved me far better than my own mother ever did, and it made no sense to me that a deity that was supposedly one of pure love would send the only person who really showed me genuine love would be consigned to the flames because of a technicality.

 

In that moment I first questioned the Hell Doctrine - and then it was all downhill from there.

[Mike D]

9/11 was the beginning of the end for me. Previous to 9/11 I thought the majority of the world was Christian and that Islam was just some small minority fringe cult. When I found out that not only was the majority of the world not Christian, but that Islam had over 1.5 billion followers, I started to question how this could be possible if there was really only one god and one "true" world religion. That pretty much started the ball rolling for a 3 year long quest for what was really The Truth. And I ended up an atheist.

[Rosa Mystica]

Here's a brief list of what ultimately shattered my faith:

 

1) Dating an ex-Christian

 

2) My OCD/anxiety

 

3) My depression

 

4) Exposure to both Catholic and non-Catholic viewpoints on boards like CF

 

5) Increased disillusionment with Catholic doctrine, sacraments, and the Bible

 

6) Eternal Hell belief. This shattered any hope I had of the Christian God being compassionate

 

7) Moving out of my parents' home, which gave my mind a chance to decompress from their influence.

 

8) The fact that I had not resolved my first crisis properly (lasted from ages 18-21)

 

9) The fact that from a young age, I've questioned *everything*. Enough questioning was bound to undo everything.

 

Is this list long enough for ya?

[hatepirate]

Actually, what I would call my 'tipping point' was a 2 hour debate between Dan Barker and Jason Gastrich (This one to be exact). After listening to it, all I could do was sit there and think about what I'd heard. Then I went to the Freedom From Religion Foundation's site and read many of the readings on there. That pretty much started my deconversion.

[insomniac]

Although I'm not quite ready to call my experiences a deconversion, it's getting close. For now I suppose a "period of doubt" is probably closer.

 

What was the trigger for y'all to start going away from Christianity, or religion in general? I've got it narrowed down to two. 1) A preacher that said all people are inherently evil. I just can't accept that. 2) People telling me that I have to believe a specific interpretation of a Biblical verse.

 

my deconversion was gradual over a period of maybe six months, but the final straw was my brother lecturing me on how to live my life 'for god,' implying that i owe everyone something somehow. I hate xianity's guilt trips...it skews morality so much. but i dont remember what triggered my six-month phase...being away from parents was a factor i think.