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Hairrowing Encounter


Beowulf
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So, do you have any plans to travel for the Fourth?

 

No, I’m was on vacation last week, and I’m heading to London in a couple of weeks.

 

I’ve never wanted to go to London or any other place in Europe. I’ve only been to the Holey Land.

 

(Vain attempt is made to disguise eye-rolling motion.)

It was wonderful. My husband and I went with our church group….. It was so inspiring, seeing where Jeezus lived and walking where Jeezus walked….We saw the Upper Room and we were even smuggled into Bethlehem.

 

Now wait a minute, what do you mean by "smuggled?" (Regret at having uttered them arrives about the time the words cross my lips.)

 

It was back in January of 2001….They were about to get a new Prime minister, or whatever you call it, and things was a bit unsettled….Our tour bus crossed a checkpoint, and there were three cars waiting on the other side for us. They loaded us into those cars. These was Fiats and Toyotas – tiny cars, but we all loaded into them. My husband and I were in the lead car with the tour guide and two other people. Then we tore out of there at 90 mph. Even going through those narrow streets we were flying along. There was no stop signs or traffic lights. My husband said it felt like we were in a James Bond movie.

 

OK

 

...Our tour guide was this borned again Ayrab. He must be dead now. He was old then, and not getting around too good. Plus its so dangerous living there, he must be dead by now.

 

Anyway, he was always on his cell phone. Here we were in the middle of the desert and everyone had a cell phone. Restaurants and places would call him and want him to bring his tour group to their place. There had been so many suicide bombings that business was bad, and they needed the customers…..Anyway, he took us to this restaurant he had arranged. They had a wholed turkey cooking on a rotiserrie out front, and it smelled sumptious. They would slice off however much of the turkey as they needed it, and put the meat in a pita bread for us. It was delicious.

 

Anyway, some other people from the town arrived. I went into the restroom, and the next thing I know there’s a banging on the door, and my husband says the tour group’s about to leave us. Seems there was now too many people there, and our guide didn’t want to make us a target.

 

We stopped by this place that cut diamonds. Business was so bad because of them suicide bombers that they wanted sell us just about anything, just so’s they could make a sell. I bought lots of bracelets for the girls in my Sunday School class.

 

Well, after that, we tore out of there again, just about as fast as when we came into the town. They had moved the bus, I guess so it wouldn’t be a target.

 

Sounds risky to me

Yeah, but the rest of it was nice. We floated on the Dead Sea. We were even baptized in the River Jordan. Our preacher baptized us. We had to rent these white robes and towels, and that water musta been five degrees below zero.

 

My husband says he’d love to go back and take our children. I wish I could go to Egypt, too, but you’d have to stay longer to see everthing. There’s so much Biblical stuff in Egypt, too. You know, Moses and the Israelites were there.

 

...and so the mostly-one-sided conversation continued as the scissors hovered over my ears without clipping anything. I must find a new barber.

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Actually, visiting Israel/Palestine is a very fascinting experience, even though you may think that the Holey Bumble is ignorant rants by angry people, and Jesus was way over his head when he began a religious movement. It is a beautiful country, even thouth it is ground zero for all of the most potent mind viruses ever to afflict the human species. I is so ancient and frozen in time -- probably because of the pubic curse of Abraham's nightmares that have been hanging over it for 4000 years.

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Actually, visiting Israel/Palestine is a very fascinting experience, even though you may think that the Holey Bumble is ignorant rants by angry people, and Jesus was way over his head when he began a religious movement. It is a beautiful country, even thouth it is ground zero for all of the most potent mind viruses ever to afflict the human species. I is so ancient and frozen in time -- probably because of the pubic curse of Abraham's nightmares that have been hanging over it for 4000 years.

 

My brother is a minister, and organizes tours to the "Holy Land". He tried to get me to go, and I declined because of the attitudes expressed by the above.

 

I would actually like to visit from an archeologic and cultural standpoint, but I'm not going to go with a bunch whose sole purpose is to "walk in the foosteps of Jeezus."

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Guest ShannonXero

Wow, what a barber. I think she wanted you to see all the "light" she was enjoying, or just "prove" to you that there was a jeebus, cause ya know, she walked in his exact footsteps! :lmao:

I think xians feel that they are persecuted so much, they need to show off in a way, or she was what they call... witnessing, in hopes you would see how much fun being a christian is. :Wendywhatever:

 

Either way, see, it pays to be nice sometimes, you could've lost an ear.

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