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Cellphone Convo I Just Had With My Mother


Guest Shiva H. Vishnu
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Guest Shiva H. Vishnu

Ring!

 

Me: Hi Mom!

 

Mom: (after a few seconds and with the glee of a schoolgirl) Hi Jeremy! It's your Mom!

 

Me: Mom, I know it's you. When you call my phone says "Mom" in a bright color display. (I've told her this a hundred times before)

 

Mom: Oh! *laughs for a minute* Well, I just had to clwl you and tell you that I was just in the grocery and it was like......

 

(I can tell she's had a few drinks, She's a cute and jolly drunk, even if extraordinarily dippy)

 

Me: Mom, are you drunk *chuckling*

 

Mom: What! (indignant) No! I was just in the grocery and it was like I was in another world.

 

Me: So, you're not drunk.

 

Mom: (still indignant) No way! I'm just trying to tell you that I was in the grocerry and......it was like......I was in another world, you know?

 

Me: I guess, but what do you mean? Were there a bunch of strange looking people there?

 

Mom: It's like.....have you seen the latest star wars movie (giggles from a memory of the movie apparently).

 

Me: Um....yeah.

 

Mom: It was like that.

 

Me: There were a bunch of people dressed like aliens there?

 

Mopm: No?! I mean, it felt like I was in another world.

 

Me: Mom, are you on acid?

 

Mom:What!!? No.

 

Me: Have you been drinking, seriously?

 

Mom: I've had like four beers. (she weighs about 100 lbs). I'm not drunk. It was just so strange, like I was in a star wars movie.

 

Me: Was there something different about the way people dressed? Were there a bunch of carnies, or goths or punks or renaissance festival workers.....? WHAT?

 

Mom: It was like I was in another world *sigh*

 

Me: Did anyone behave abnormally? Were there alot of foreigners? What?

 

Mom: You're making this way harder than I wanted it to be.

 

Me: I'm just trying to understa......'

 

Dropped call.

 

I love my Mom.

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Isn't life fun? :eek:

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Please. Someone tell me I'm not alone in my cute/diabolically ignorant mother syndrome.

 

My mom used to do stuff like that sometimes...but mostly it was with her trying to remember movies and coming up with these WWWWEEEEIIIIIRRRD explanations of plot-lines.

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No, I think that both your mothers are on drugs other than alcohol. ;)

 

Don't worry, my mom is too. :D And I'm cool with it.

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No, I think that both your mothers are on drugs other than alcohol. ;)

 

Don't worry, my mom is too. :D And I'm cool with it.

 

Well, my mom was an alcoholic but she was just screwed up in the head.

 

Eccentric person, though, and she was a great mom.

 

It's probably pretty safe to say that ALL mothers are weird.

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It's probably pretty safe to say that ALL mothers are weird.

 

<_< Hey!

 

*sigh* my mom can be kooky and she doesn't drink or take drugs...but the grandkids LOVE it and her. Well, I love her too but I swear, when we were visiting and she smacked her food (and I really mean smacked) it drove me INSANE! However, I feel a little guilty because she devoted every waking hour to the children and I when we visited for 10 days. She flubs song lyrics, i.e.; thought that Huey Lewis and the News were singing "I wanna new truck" instead of drug, thought that Rick Springfield was singing "I wish that I WAS Jessie's girl", etc. Mutilating jokes is up there too. Wouldn't trade her for anything though. :HaHa:

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Since I am a mom and I know I bug my kids. Here is a little story from the other day:

 

A guy friend about 16 is sitting at the patio table with my daughters. I start talking to the kid.

 

"So, what school do you go to?"

 

"Calvary Christian Academy."

 

"Really?"

 

My daughters eyes get very large and have the look of fear in their faces.

 

"Mother, don't" (They call me mother when it's important)

 

"Don't what?"

 

"We know what you are going to do!"

 

"Really, what am I going to do."

 

"You know exactly what you are going to do. Please, don't talk to our friends about that, Please, mother, don't even talk to our friends at all."

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...........

"Really, what am I going to do."

 

"You know exactly what you are going to do. Please, don't talk to our friends about that, Please, mother, don't even talk to our friends at all."

:twitch: That's it?!? You tease! What happened next? Don't leave us hanging! :vent:

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The kid told me that he'd gotten a football scholarship to the school and hasn't gone to the school yet. He said that he wants to be an attorney and is hoping that by going to this school he can get a football scholarship. However, because he has a scholarship to the school, he is required to go to the church every Sunday and Wednesday.

 

I told him to forget about learning science, because they were going to teach bullshit science.

 

He said he really didn't believe everything about Christianity but the Bible was the best book he'd ever read (he'd only read some of the New Testament) I said, "If the Bible is the best book you've ever read, than you have read very few books."

 

I had him come in the house and showed him some sites. Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth, etc.

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Jeremy! That sounds like a convo my daughter and I would have, lol! And, I don't drink or do drugs..though she accuses me like..ALL the time.

 

Mom's are supposed to be weird, right? :grin:

 

But, I'm neither "cute" nor "diabolically ignorant", but I can play the role as needed..

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Pretty funny story Taphophilia :HaHa: Now let's just hope that this 16 year old kid doesn't have an angry parent coming to your door to scold you for "putting ideas into his head", :HaHa:

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