Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I met Rico 14 years ago when I was in a christian cult. A church friend of mine introduced me to him because he thought I'd be better equipped to convert him. He was way too smart for me to convert him, but we did become lifelong friends in the process. Rico had muscular dystrophy, a rare kind. Most cases of MD live to their late teens. Rico had been told he had as little as a year to live since he was 15. He made it to 36. When I met Rico he was 6ft tall and about 130 lbs, maybe less. He could walk with a cane. The vertebrae of his ceck were fused together so he couldn't turn his head, and a childhood illness had left him with only the ability to whisper. But, he had the greatest, most generous and loving attitude of anyone I know. As the years went on he became wheelchair bound and emaciated and only someone familiar with him and listening very closely could discern his speech. A few years ago he and a friend set off for Burning Man. Little did I know he wasn't coming back. He had never really had a family of his own and on his journey he met a girl who took him in to her family, so he moved to Tallahassee Florida. I was so happy to see him finally be happy and have all the support that he needed. He visited me once, a couple years ago, and we had a great time. We've kept in contact through email and IMs, but I always kept promising I would come visit him. Now it seems I'll finally be going to visit him, for the funeral. His girlfriend Rachel told me this morning that he had been sick for a couple of weeks, and then just collapsed. By the time the ambulance arrived there was irreperable brain damage and the took him off life suport this morning. He emailed me last week asking for words of love and I dropped the ball. I could have told him how very very much I loved him and always will, but i responded with a single flippant sentence. I know he knew I loved him, but holy christ, I don't know if I regret anything I've ever done in my life more that that at this moment. So, I'm telling you guys. I'll never forget exactly what it felt like to be hugged by him, the gentle stick-man. I'll never forget the hours upon hours we spent talking about life, both before and after my deconversion. I'll never forget how he tearfully confessed his most heinous sin to me one night, that he had once kicked a dog. I laughed a bit inside. Rico was a wonderful human being with more life in his frail body than many athletes I've known. And Rico loved to love. Everyone could tell and everyone loved him back. I'm going to miss him so so much. My only comfort is that his suffereing is through. He didn't deserve one instant of it. Goodbye Rico. I love you, bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I'm sooo sorry Shiva. It sounds like Rico was a very good person too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Thanks Hans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 (((HUG))) My sympathies Shiva. Don't be too hard on yourself. When folks are sick and their health is bad, most of the people around them become platitude boxes and talking Hallmark models instead of just being themselves. Effectively eulogizing the person before they are even gone, instead of just being the people this person knew and valued all his life. Don't be harsh on yourself for being yourself. Your friend knew you cared, and he may have even appreciated your "flippance" simply for it's being genuine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 I'm so sorry, Shiva. It sucks losing people you love. It sucks even worse when you feel like there was anything left unsaid or undone before they had to check out. Thank you for posting about him. He sounds like he was a great guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Damn. Sorry that you lost your friend, Shiva. Rico sounds like he was a really good guy. deepest condolences, man. mick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 My deepest sympathies. Rico sounded like quite a guy. Cherish your memories of him always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 (((Shiva, Rachel, and other friends of RIco))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minstrel Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 But, truly, he does live...in your heart and memory and how your life was affected by his. If death is the end...celebrate life. Tears, sobs, regrets... All a part of celebrating life, as well. When someone (especially a dear friend) passes...we naturally judge how we treated them. The greatest gift you can give him...is to value the gifts he imparted to you. -Saddened for the loss and pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Thank you so much, guys. It's been a hard day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Dang, dude... You were right. I didn't know. I did miss this thread. Sorry for the loss. And I hope that you lose the guilt. There's no way you could have known. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 It's all gravy, homey. The ringer's crush brings a necessary wave of relief. I feel like I've been doing squat thrusts for the last 12 hours. There's nothing I can do but be sure to let my loved ones know as often as I can that they are loved. I love you, fwee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 It's all gravy, homey. The ringer's crush brings a necessary wave of relief. I feel like I've been doing squat thrusts for the last 12 hours. There's nothing I can do but be sure to let my loved ones know as often as I can that they are loved. Consider yourself fortunate that you have loved ones that allow such a heartfelt showing without thinking that you're some sort of psycho for expressing such sentiments. I love you, fwee. Now you're gonna make me cry. Is this payback for my 'bugs in your butt' comment? I love you too, Shiva. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Consider yourself fortunate that you have loved ones that allow such a heartfelt showing without thinking that you're some sort of psycho for expressing such sentiments. Don't get me started on my family. If any of them go I have no idea how I'll handle it. Worst of all, if I have to see my sister die..............goddamn I don't even want to think about it. Bitterness and I would never experience a solitary moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizard Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 I'm so sorry for your loss, Shiva..hang in there dude.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Dear Shiva, I'm so sorry to hear of this loss, but I am glad you told us about Rico. (Did you mention him previously?) I'm glad that he had 21 years beyond what the doctors said, and they sound like very good years despite the increasing weakness. I'm glad for what Rico and you shared together for all those years. Yours, ficino Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shiva H. Vishnu Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Thanks again, everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loren Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Very, very sorry, Shiva. Death is the one thing we all have in common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest earl1940 Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 I'm sorry, too. Words fail me; all I can do is give a warm spiritual hug and stand next to you silently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snookums Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 my sincere condolences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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