Minstrel Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 One of the cockleburs that wedged under my saddle was the fact that through 49 years of Christianity (with all the "God Loves You and So Do I"'s and "I'm praying for you Brother"'s and alleged miracles and healings and "God's Word Will Never Fail") I utterly failed to find two Christians who believed the same about - ANYTHING... Not one church believed exactly the same about salvation sanctification obedience And...if you wanted a crowd... just bring in a visiting minister and broadcast "He's a Prophet" or "Miracle Worker" The "prophet" one worked best, though because what do all those sheep want? Someone to tell them what God said/says. I no longer attended church. My wife and two of my children wanted to and I never suggested that they should not but I knew I would have to find the answer for myself. So, I continued my search into the subject of Hell and Everlasting Punishment Going through the Old and New Testaments to see if it was just a matter of mistranslation that had instigated this rumor In this process I wrote a lengthy document, continuing to believe that Jesus was God The Son and that Christianity was absolutely God's Path I was so proud of my conclusion to that document "Death is a mirror and those that see Hell on the other side of Death are only seeing Death's reflection of their Life". As soon, however, as I began to gloat over solving the riddle other questions began to arise... such as: What about the Book of Jasher? My christianity's tenets of faith were based on "The Bible is the Divine, Holy, Incorruptible, Eternal & Complete Word of God to Man". So...mistranslations...like substituting the word "Hell" for "grave" could be overcome with a genuine desire to find the truth but what about the Book of Jasher? Twice in the OT, this 'book' is called upon for verification and validation of "God's Word" I found a Book of Jasher on the Internet knowing there was debate over its authenticity and read Whether it is the Book of Jasher or not ends up having no bearing on the answers it led me to For eventually after much inner debate I realized If the Book of Jasher is a holy book... that the Bible calls upon for witness and testimony to something God is saying is true... why is it not in the Bible? And here - God leaves us an open-ended question... Furthermore...how many generations have passed without the 'complete' Word of God And how many might have chosen to follow Jesus if they'd had this "missing link" at their disposal. On the other hand If it is not a holy book (giving good reason for it not to be included in the holy book) what does that do to the holiness purity, sanctity and authority of God's Word? Tying the validity of anything that is holy to something that is unholy desecrates, defiles and defies all claims to holiness. So...now...we unholy/fallen humans must find a way to measure the divinity, inspiration and/or holiness of a bit of writing that has been deemed unholy or that God allowed to be misplaced. For a while, I simply accepted that those who determined the Canon of Scripture had inappropriately discarded this book The more I considered it, though the more it became evident that the book of Jasher I was reading would pose tremendous problems for the logic, rationale and doctrines of the Christian church today. When this realization came I felt myself starting to slip... ...starting to lose control... But even with that vertigo my mind started racing to other questions that had always been there but that I had not allowed to be asked like If God Is Good And God created Everything Where Did Evil Come From? As the answer to this question resounded like the toll of a steeple bell ...I wondered why Jesus hadn't reproved his disciples when the topic of reincarnation arose... As that question resolved... I knew I was getting somewhere and was actually getting excited (though I didn't know what I was getting close to) And then...I had a 9-day commission where I sat alone, in a trailer, in the middle of the desert (luckily, I had satellite Internet access) on the 6th or 7th night I was writing out my thoughts and had just gone through a lengthy discourse on Jesus ...and came to a question... Even thinking about the question made me shudder. I was frightened, and half-convinced that in asking it I would commit the unpardonable sin ... I asked "What do I believe about Jesus?" Immediately, and for the next fifteen minutes to an hour my heart started to thud...I became faint...and I stepped outside the trailer, looked up at the stars and said - "God, if you're gonna kill me... then go ahead. Because I don't think I would want to be in a Heaven with a God like that." As suddenly as the terror arose it subsided In many regards, it was like being born again. Peace... Hope... Excitement & Anticipation A lifetime of shackles began to fall away and are still being shed today. I realize this has been a kind of ramble. But...needed to tie up what I'd begun. Thanks for your patience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Good thinking, Minstrel. Welcome to the ExChristian club. I'm going to have to look up that Book of Jasher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minstrel Posted July 16, 2006 Author Share Posted July 16, 2006 Good thinking, Minstrel. Welcome to the ExChristian club. I'm going to have to look up that Book of Jasher. Do we get crackers and grape juice, here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Good thinking, Minstrel. Welcome to the ExChristian club. I'm going to have to look up that Book of Jasher. Do we get crackers and grape juice, here? No, booze and cigarettes! Interesting ex-imony, Minstrel. Amazing how bible study and thinking often leads to deconversion, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minstrel Posted July 16, 2006 Author Share Posted July 16, 2006 No, booze and cigarettes! Amazing how bible study and thinking often leads to deconversion, isn't it? Kinda like Vegas, and I hit the jackpot...with the booze and cigarettes. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
padhyde Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Beautifully written. One of the amazing things about religion is the massive effort involved in breaking free from it. Countless people have gone through this. Books galore are read or consulted followed by endless hours of reflection. And yet as we all find, just one or two thoughtful questions seem to clarify the whole subject. You have found the right ones for you. Enjoy your freedom! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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