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Ahr Mum


Matt
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Hey guyz. I came on to vent. My mum being the crazed bible lady no longer functions. My mum is a stay at home mum. She doesnt work in the traditional sense of going out of the house. In recent years she has become christian. I dont want to offend ladies out their. Im 17 and my brothers are like 11 and 8. Ive argued with my mother about how she deals with the household and all she will do is get angry and act stressed. I mean she shops like almost everyday instead of going shopping like once a week to save time. She doesnt organise the laundry, just irons when we need something. I know women can have a hard time, but when she got mad i proved to her its not that hard. She left for the day and i did all the housework in an hour or 2, leaving the rest of the day free. But still she manages to act tired and stressed. She sleeps heaps, reads the bible, talks to my crazy christian Auntie on the phone all bloody day. She complains we need more money for groceries and what not, but refuses to work as she is already 'to stressed', and 'doesnt have anough time'. If she took some time saving device i.e not using a new cup every time you drink but instead use the same cup and clean it, their are a lot of little time saving techniques. This is more recent because of her becoming a christian. I could say sloth is a sin, but the believes she is working hard and part of that is reading the bible and talkin to my auntie ALL FUKIN DAY on the phone. The household is fine, but why not improve ones self and the family. Its not that god damn hard, she has a dishwasher and appliances. I know im being very critical, but im really frustrated and i beleive the christianity is restricting her. When i was in the cult i wouldnt do homework, i was to engrossed in it all.

 

Shes my mother and i love her dearly but for gods sake she should DO SOMETHING. Any suggestions is met with a lot of anger and ignnorance by not viwing my point of view. Anybody please share experiences, suggestions or comments Thnx. Feel a bit better havin vented

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I'm not a psychiatrist, but somehow that sounds like your mom needs professional help... sounds like she suffers from that kind of depression that can come easily when someone reads too much of da wholly babble. :scratch:

 

Honestly, sorry to hear that. I went through similar times, I know how it sucks. My way out was to move out. Aaah the relief...

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Hello Matt,

 

Hm. It's understandable that life is crazy without much organization, but really if it bothers you, you should be doing some of it. You are frustrated with inefficiency right? Stop giving her tips and go into the kitchen and scrub those glasses, go get your clothes and wash them and iron them. If you have a gift for it, then do it happily. She birthed you and changed your poopy diapers, isn't that enough?

 

Reading your worries about your mom and her sleeping alot, talking on the phone and unorganization...that is me as I was before I, well, got liberated. When all their is to life is dirty dishes and laundry and grocery shopping, life gets a little depressing. MORE than a little depressing. The hard thing about being stay at home mom is that you do the SAME thing, day after day after day after day......Christianity DOES do something to you where you are just all wrapped up in it and are trying to aim to be perfect at everything...and depressed because you can never measure up to god's standard or your own.

 

I bet she beats up on herself all the time in her mind, so be gentle. Be gentle on your mama. You should be treating her like a queen. :notworthy:

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Sounds like depression to me.

 

I'm no psychologist or psychiatrist, but I have enough experience with my own life, my family and with session with psych/ologists/iatrists aplenty. After the accident we had, we spent a couple of years in multiple session, and we know depression from the bottom of the pit. And the sleeping a lot, not doing stuff, or only minimal, not finishing, only shopping even when not needed... I've been there, my wife's been there. And it's a deeply rooted depression. But glory to NoGod I'm out of it.

 

I don't want to scare you (or maybe I do ;) ) but I didn't get out of that depression completely until I lost my faith. Now I take the day as it comes, I do plan and prepare, but I know it all depends on me and not a magical superman fixing my problems or organizing my chaos.

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Sounds like what started happening with my mom around when I was your age. She didn't turn fundy, but she stopped working, stopped taking care of her life, stopped caring about being part of the household.

 

My mother does suffer from depression, so even the simpelist things are hard for her to do. Like just bathing herself regularly or doing her own laundry. It's INCREDIBLY frustrating, so I know exactly where you are coming from. Try not to take it personally, it's not out of spite. If you can talk her into it, try to urge her to see a doctor and get treatment. I imagine becoming christian right now is giving her an emotional lift and helping keep her from having to deal with reality.

 

Parents are people too, and your mother probably has a lot of unresolved issues of her own regarding her life. I wish I could offer more advice other than take the initative for some of the household chores. You can't make her do anything, but you know how to do housework on your own. Get your brothers in on it too. This is part of what it means to be a part of ANY household.

 

BTW, I don't buy into the "just because she birthed you, you should be thankful for whatever you get out of her and be grateful no matter what." It's total crap. At your age, you're pretty much an adult and the respect you give each other should be shifting to a more adult level. Give your mom some respect and room, try not to take her behaviour out on her, and be sure to cover your own bases making sure you have what YOU need even if you have to do it yourself.

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BTW, I don't buy into the "just because she birthed you, you should be thankful for whatever you get out of her and be grateful no matter what." It's total crap.

 

:ouch: Sorry for the "total crap". I thought that came out wrong, and was going to say something

but didn't. I guess I just meant that moms should be respected, I didn't mean to say that moms have no responsibility as to raising children. I'm currently up to my elbows in poopy diapers times two, so I guess the birthing diaper thing was on my mind? :shrug:

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