Jump to content

From the blog --An Ex-Christian suffering from guilt


Recommended Posts

  • Admin

Sent in by J.G.

 

I grew up in a Southern Baptist home. Always fearing the "fire and brimstone" I was warned of, I - as you can imagine a young scared child would do - accepted Christ as my personal savior, albeit I hadn't the entire idea of what that meant. So I grew up calling myself a Christian cuz I felt like I had to because of pressure to go to church or to be a good Christian from church and family.

 

Now I have left the Christian faith and begin my spiritual journey fresh, if there is a spiritual journey to be had. My problem is, though, that I suffer from extreme guilt and confusion. I kinda miss the idea of talking to an unseen protector, but I can't logically believe it. Is there anyone out there who can relate to my "withdrawals" out of the addiction of Jesus Freakiness?

 

Texas

Joined at 8

Left at 20

Was: I was a Baptist

Now: Agnostic/Mystic

Converted because: I was "led to Christ" by my fundamentalist father.

De-converted because: I couldn't whole-heartedly believe that Jesus was the "Son of God"{rul}

Link to comment
Share on other sites

<em>Sent in by J.G.</em>

 

I kinda miss the idea of talking to an unseen protector, but I can't logically believe it. Is there anyone out there who can relate to my "withdrawals" out of the addiction of Jesus Freakiness?

 

 

The withdrawal symptoms are probably different for everyone. For me it's not so much the idea of talking to God, because that's one of the things that led to my deconversion in the first place. While I was experiencing doubts, I prayed fervently that God would "help my unbelief" and give me eyes to see. No answer. No reassurance from my heavenly father that I was indeed his beloved son. So I don't feel that I'm missing anything by not talking to him, it was a one sided conversation to begin with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

J.G.,

 

Like you I was boarn and raised in Texas as a Southern Baptist. I finally left the faith at around 30 years of age. The first few years, the occasional grip of fear would return. There were two things that had been so drilled into me that I feared. (1) I feared going to hell and being tortured for eternity and (2) I feared never seeing my loved ones again.

 

These lingering fears is what first drew me to the old Ex-Christian.net, as I was searching for other people who felt as I did. Christianity is a powerful memetic programming that uses this combination of positive and negative reinforcements and expecially if you were raised in it, it is hard to break. As you quite aptly said, logically we know the whole thing is preposterous. In my experience, that was the key to slowly getting past it. When that fear strikes you, you have to confront it head on with hard, cold logic.

 

Let me offer two thoughts.

 

On death: "When I am, death is not. When death is, I am not. Why should I fear that which can not exist when I do?"....Epicurus

 

On life: "No one is ever truly dead. As long as humans shall survive, the ripples a person made in the stream of life will continue down through family, friends and people they touched."....Me

 

 

Bruce

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.