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Mormon's Again!


Taphophilia
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Every year I get a really bad infestation of Mormon's. I'm out mowing the yard and they come up to me and ask me if they can help. (My words in Blue)

 

"No"

 

"Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ?"

 

"No"

 

"Why not?"

 

"I'm an Atheist."

 

"Have you been an Atheist all of your life?"

 

"No, I used to be a Christian."

 

(shocked look) "Why don't you believe in Jesus anymore?"

 

"Because Christianity is nothing but an adaptation of older ancient religions."

 

"Were they Roman religions?"

 

"They were from many different ancient cultures, some thousands of years before Jesus supposedly existed."

 

"Um....I know Jesus is true from personal experience and he's answered my prayers."

 

"Lots of people have personal experiences and have their prayers answered that are not Mormon. Is their religion true?"

 

"I know that Mormon is true because it's true for me."

 

"That's great for you if you want to believe it, but I don't"

 

"Jesus is the truth."

 

"There is no historical evidence that Jesus ever even existed. None."

 

"How do you know that?"

 

"Because all (and their's like 30) Ancient Historians from the same time that Jesus supposedly existed, never once mention him."

 

(Looking at the other guy) "Do you know what to say to that?" (other guy shakes his head)

 

"Are you Mormon because you were raised Mormon, or did you convert?"

 

"I would say my parents taught me, but I decided for myself later."

 

"So, if you were raised Catholic, or Muslim, or Buddhist, you would have been that, right?"

 

"Well yes, but I would have eventually become Mormon."

 

"You are kidding me, right?"

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Good job coming up with the rebuttals on the fly like that. What happened afterwards?

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Good job coming up with the rebuttals on the fly like that. What happened afterwards?

 

After being here and arguing with Christians in the Lion's Den, it's easy to come up with what to say.

 

It was funny. They had no idea what to say. They said they would be Mormon if they had lived in the Middle East and were raised Muslim! I said, "How would you even know about it." Oh, they'd find out. Oh, okay, you'd find out about a religion you had never heard of.

 

My mom pulled up and I said I had to go.

 

Then they asked me if I wanted some card.

 

I said, No

 

Then they asked me if I knew anyone who would want to hear their message.

 

NO

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"Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ?"

 

At this point, tell them to get off your property or you'll call the cops - or get your gun. :HaHa:

 

Just ask yourself, "WWND?" (What would Nivek do?)

 

Of course, then you wouldn't have the fun of screwing with their heads... :scratch:

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Every year I get a really bad infestation of Mormon's. I'm out mowing the yard and they come up to me and ask me if they can help. (My words in Blue)

 

"No"

 

"Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ?"

 

 

At that point, I would have said, "I'm mowing the lawn and don't have time to talk. Please leave me alone."

 

I also don't really see how they could have helped you mow the lawn anyway. I mean, what could they have done besides stand there and say annoying things like "Hey, you missed a spot?" Sprinkle holy water on the lawn, perhaps? :rolleyes:

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I knew of a Hindu guy who was regularly assaulted by a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses. These women would come over and preach to him, and he was too polite to turn them away. One day he said, "We'll talk about Jesus this time, but next time I'm going to teach you about Hinduism and why I believe in it." They enthusiastically agreed.....and never showed up again. This was while he was in college in the US.

 

He decided to stay in the country with his family, and one Christmas season a couple of evangelicals (can't remember the denom) came over and he heartily invited them in. They stared in amazement at all the Christmas decorations everywhere, and he explained that his family celebrated Christmas as a fun winter holiday even if they weren't Christians and still enjoyed it. They were so beyond-words offended that they left and never returned.

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Oh, that's good Sage.

 

Screwing with the Mormon boys heads was fun. They told me that I shouldn't be concerned with historical evidence, that I just needed to have faith.

 

I said, "So basically, you want me to believe in your religion and you have absolutely no proof that your religion is true and there is no proof anywhere that Jesus even existed, and I'm just supposed to accept it just because you claim to have had a personal experience?"

 

"Well, that's what faith is. If you would just have faith than you would know it's true."

 

"You just believe what you've been told all of your life to believe. You already admitted that. I choose to believe proof and there isn't any."

 

You guys should have seen the dumbfounded look on their faces. It was SO funny!

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Every year I get a really bad infestation of Mormon's. I'm out mowing the yard and they come up to me and ask me if they can help. (My words in Blue)

 

"No"

 

What? You are missing a great opportunity. Next time say "Thanks! Make sure you watch the flowers, but get real close to the edges. I'm going inside to get us some lemonade." Then take your sweet time in the house while they get their white shirts sweaty. :grin:

 

Then they asked me if I knew anyone who would want to hear their message.

 

NO

 

And here you could get some good revenge on your enemies. Even if your enemies happen to be some right wing politician, your ex, or whoever. My wife's friend had a boss who was ripping her off on her sales commissions. I went online and sicked both the Mormons and JWs on her. It was pretty funny hearing the complaints.

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Last year they mowed my elderly neighbors yard, three mormons boys, taking turns in a 75X110 foot yard, and the house takes up most of the yard. It took them two days. It wasn't two days in a row, they mowed some of it one day, the three of them mind you, then came back a week later to finish. I still cannot figure out how they could have screwed it up so bad.

 

Hey, sending them to someone I don't particularly like is very good idea.

 

They come around every year. I'm wondering if it's some kind of "Mormon Springbreak" sending them to the Florida Coast. We never had Mormon Missionaries in the middle of Dairy Country where I'm from.

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I've been fortunate. I've only ever had one experience with Mormon missionaries, and they didn't really badger me at all. So it was okay.

 

Oh, but one of them did come and talk to someone who is close to me in a mall parking lot. I'm like, WTF? Did they decide to start proselytizing in parking lots? Some people would not be so nice to him - I mean, it was pretty dark out too, so I bet people could easily get the wrong idea...

 

But it's weird - this year, I've seen more (at least, of what seem to be) Mormon missionaries making the rounds in various areas than ever before. (Maybe some were JWs? But still...)

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:lmao:

 

Good stuff, Taph! I only wish I could have been there to see their expressions.

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