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The Christian's Non-christian


The Sage Nabooru
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Some time ago I saw some 70's end-times movie playing on a religious channel (think it was TBN), and the non-Christian representations in the movie got me to thinking how each Christian itchin' for a convert approaches each non-Christian the same way, and it's because they have these preconceived notions, further enforced by these Christian media images and by missionary classes, of what a non-Christian is like. Not only is it usually far off target, it comes in handy when approached by the evangelical wannabes. Your true nature takes them totally off guard.

 

The most common non-Christian stereotypes are:

 

The Gentle Idiot. This person isn't Christian but it's really not their fault. It's the fault of their parents for not bringing them up correctly, either by avoiding Christianity altogether or not enforcing it strongly enough in the youngster to make it stick. This person, when asked about where they think they go when they die and how good a person they think they are, will say something dreamily like, "Well, I don't know what happens when we die. I sure wish I did but I don't think it's possible. I try to be a good person. I try to follow the Ten Commandments. I always assumed that's all I needed to be, all I could be. Are you saying there's something more?" Then this person will show giant, innocent staring Bambi eyes and an expression of great wonder and itching curiosity at the evangelical's message and be completely amazed at the Gospel and then ask, "But who is this Jesus person? I don't understand by what you mean. He died for me?" just like they could live in AMERICA in the FUCKING TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY and never heard of Jesus in their entire lame lives.

 

The Reformed Sinner. Also known as the "Valjean" after the character in Les Miserables, this person has lived a life of total and complete immersion in sin and vice. They gamble, engage in wanton sexual acts with whomever they please, curse, spit on sidewalks while schoolchildren walk by, insult their mothers, steal cars, and live at odds with the law. If they're arrested and in prison, the evangelist earns extra-special points. While this non-Christian has indulged in the pleasures of the flesh, he has felt empty and cold inside of his tough exterior. He commits his vile acts because being ignorant of the Gospel sees no reason to try to impart any kind of meaning or morality into his life. It is up to the evangelist to provide him with the Bible's Truth in order to get him to realize that life does, indeed, have value, if one actually denies the natural impulses and embraces Jesus. He typically goes on to become a deacon and write a book about his story which inspires preteens everywhere.

 

The Embodiment of Evil. Some people have hearts hardened beyond mere human intervention and persuasion to accept Christ. These people live bitter, utterly miserable lives, surrounded by darkness and bathed in anger and violent physical pleasures. Sadists to the extreme, these are those who cannot be converted. At the sight of the evangelist or of golden-haired sweet-faced Christian children, this non-Christian will froth at the mouth a la mad dog, their hands will take on the shape of twisted claws, their eyes turn into pulsating, blood-filled things of nightmares and their voice turns into a terrifyingly loud growl. Writhing grotesquely at every mention of Jesus's name, they should be avoided at all costs and given their deserved punishment in hell, for even as their lives are as empty and devoid of value and meaning as Satan's fight against God, they cannot be turned to the Light. They are dangerous, unpredictable people, as mentally imbalanced as they must be as non-blessed and forsaken by God, and any sighting of one in one's neighborhood should immediately be reported to the pastor, who will allow you to hide in the church basement when this demonic monster is out mowing their lawn or washing the car.

 

That's the three non-Christian varieties I can think of. No wonder evangelists are usually shocked into dumbfoundedness when meeting the Real Deal in person.

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WORD sister!

 

If I had a single Euro for every time I'm approached (mainly in usenet) by people who automatically think "Ah, that's a type x unbeliever"...

 

...and they never know what to say when they find out what really makes me tick... :lmao:

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I like to think of myself as a stealth atheist. Normally when they find out that I am an unbeliever, they don't believe me. I have had to spend considerable time convincing a few that I am indeed an atheist.

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I like to think of myself as a stealth atheist. Normally when they find out that I am an unbeliever, they don't believe me. I have had to spend considerable time convincing a few that I am indeed an atheist.

 

So, you're....Secret Athiest Man?

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:lmao: Well it would be secret Atheist Woman....but basically yes. Christians often assume that all non-christians look weird, piercings, tattoos, wild hair, atheist t-shirts etc. I dress fairly conservatively, never wear atheist t-shirts, and I don't have any visible tattos. They assume I am "normal" in their view. I really have had a few people who though I was kidding about being an atheist.
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These people live bitter, utterly miserable lives, surrounded by darkness and bathed in anger and violent physical pleasures. Sadists to the extreme, They are dangerous, unpredictable people...

 

Funnily enough I could say this is a good description of a lot of Born Agains I know!

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Did you write that Sage? Very good observations.

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LOL Sage. My Hi-C fruit punch came out of my nose reading that. It is so true!

 

I watch TBN when I am depressed and need a good laugh. The programming on there is such ridiculous, over the top, propaganda...

 

And the "Gentle Idiot" is the pervasive theme on that station. I hate, HATE, HATE, that representation of a none believer. Basically, if you don't believe in Jesus you are just a moron walking about aimlessly through life and need a savior.

 

But you did forget one stereotype...

 

Most Christians view all athiests as people who wear: piercings(ears, tongue, nose, nips, and genetalia), have tatoos all over their bodies, wear spikey moussed hair, leather, and are always talking about dropping acid and stuff like that...

These people also worship Satan and have Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie on their changers...

 

I am constantly approached by Christians on campus, but it is only because they want me to join Youth group...They can't believe that a moral person who isn't tatooed up with piercings could NOT be a Jesus Freek.

 

gag me with a chainsaw.

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Sage thanks for posting this,

 

What about the Intellectual Elite Atheist? The image of the high IQ, Left Wing, Tree Hugging, PBS supporting intellectual who through their vast intellectually superior brain (yet stupid where it counts) use logic and reason to trick themselves into not believing in God. Christians try to counter their arguements with what they consider witty and clever like, "God does not believe in Atheists"

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Sage thanks for posting this,

 

What about the Intellectual Elite Atheist? The image of the high IQ, Left Wing, Tree Hugging, PBS supporting intellectual who through their vast intellectually superior brain (yet stupid where it counts) use logic and reason to trick themselves into not believing in God. Christians try to counter their arguements with what they consider witty and clever like, "God does not believe in Atheists"

 

 

Or the classic, "I don't have enough faith to be an atheist!"

 

:Wendywhatever:

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Hmmm, LMR, I'd be a "Jesus Freak" by that description too-- I dress casually, have not a tatt (my Greyhounds *are* but they are ex-racers, and the tatts are their I.D.) or piercing to my name (I had my ears pierced as a teen-- when I was a Christian-- but they got infected and I cannot ever have piercings again). The whole of my jewelry collection easily fits into a baggie. The only leather I wear is on my shoes, and I don't touch drugs personally, or listen to Manson. (Fav bands-- Rush and Moody Blues, but also Enya and R. Carlos Nakai)

 

I like the Intellecual Atheist blurb-- there's a lot of truth in that one, except of course for the supposed tricks the brain is making.

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Yes the intellectual atheist sterotype is in a ton of movies. The skeptic non-believer who dies screaming when the boogey man turns out to be real, or gets drug into the bowels of hell by the demons they just refused to see. I hate that image.

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...listen to Manson. (Fav bands-- Rush and Moody Blues, but also Enya and R. Carlos Nakai)...

 

First off, you just got a whole ton of love from me! My parents used to rock me to sleep to the Moody Blues, and I've had a love for them ever since.

 

As for types, there is the hurt individual, kind of a wounded animal who was pushed from christ by others (obviously non-christians!) and hurt badly emotionally, who just need that healing blood.

 

Guys that have pulled that one on me have nearly gotten their heads taken off for it.

 

Don't they know that the wounded animal is the most dangerous one?

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Ah, the cool and collected Intellectual Atheist is a variant of the Embodiment of Evil. He attracts teenagers and other suggestible people to himself, with his expertly presented (yet of course ultimately weak and empty) points and arguments. He is temptation in its highest form, in that his calm and even somewhat charismatic demeanor is merely a ruse used by Satan to lure others over to the Dark Side. It takes a great deal of effort to resist the Intellectual Atheist, but the youngster is always turned back to Christ when the noble pastor or Christian buddy steps in and fights the Intellectual Atheist with Biblical Truths and a show of logic, during which the IA increasingly becomes flustered and blathering until finally a burst of rage crushes the put-together exterior and reveals his true Embodiment of Evil self.

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Regarding the Gentle Idiot, when I was a Christian I always thought of sincere believers in other religions (including any version of Christianity other than my own) as sort of in this category. IF ONLY they would open their eyes and see that they're devoting their lives to the wrong god! It's so obvious, how can they not see it?

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Regarding the Gentle Idiot, when I was a Christian I always thought of sincere believers in other religions (including any version of Christianity other than my own) as sort of in this category. IF ONLY they would open their eyes and see that they're devoting their lives to the wrong god! It's so obvious, how can they not see it?

Yeah, my mum told me that if you were a good Buddhist or Muslim or whatever you'd go to heaven but if you were a christian and you then became a Buddhist or Muslim then you'd go to hell.

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