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Goodbye Jesus

How To Play A Mmorpg


Nihil

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1: log on

 

2: Select/create character with vulgar name (ex: Phuckstick)

 

3: Go into town.

 

4: Repeatedly shout request for free stuff.

 

5: Answer any questions from newbies with "Fuck U newb rofl!"

 

6: Go hunt.

 

7: Respond to any request for help with "Die nigger rofl!" If your mom is home, use "Faggot" instead.

 

8: Join party.

 

9: Complain about anyone who dies or otherwise fails. Make long rant in leet about how you play a much better (class) then they do. If you die, complain about healer.

 

10: Divide spoils. Complain. Leave party.

 

11: Have arguement with other player. Repeatedly use words nigger, faggot, and pussy.

 

12: Go back to town.

 

13: Get told by mom to do homework.

 

14: Talk back to mom.

 

15: Get kicked off computer.

 

16: Do homework.

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Is this from personal experience, Nihil? :grin:

 

Umm...what if you're too old to have homework? And you don't live with your mom anymore?

 

I submit these modifications for mmorpg'ers who are over 21 and married/in a relationship.

 

13: Get told by significant other that you spend too much time on that GAWD damned game.

 

14: Tell your significant other to leave you the fuck alone, you're busy nerfing the enemy faction.

 

15: Have the imminent threat of sex depravation held over your head.

 

16: Log off.

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1: log on

 

2: Select/create character with vulgar name (ex: Phuckstick)

 

3: Go into town.

 

4: Repeatedly shout request for free stuff.

 

5: Answer any questions from newbies with "Fuck U newb rofl!"

 

6: Go hunt.

 

7: Respond to any request for help with "Die nigger rofl!" If your mom is home, use "Faggot" instead.

 

8: Join party.

 

9: Complain about anyone who dies or otherwise fails. Make long rant in leet about how you play a much better (class) then they do. If you die, complain about healer.

 

10: Divide spoils. Complain. Leave party.

 

11: Have arguement with other player. Repeatedly use words nigger, faggot, and pussy.

 

12: Go back to town.

 

13: Get told by mom to do homework.

 

14: Talk back to mom.

 

15: Get kicked off computer.

 

16: Do homework.

 

 

Brilliant. :Medal:

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For the old-timers:

 

Log on.

 

Look at all of the sweet eye-candy.

 

Note how much better text was "back in the day" on MUDs

 

Have everyone else wonder what the hell you are talking about.

 

Kill the monster. Steal the treasure. Stab your buddy.

 

Log off

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Is this from personal experience, Nihil? :grin:

 

 

Let's just say, I weep for today's youth. This is why I play text games: the punk kids assume anything without graphics is crap.

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Boy, is that familiar--especially in WoW (my latest addiction).

 

Thankfully, through some wonderful, wonderful luck, I'm able to avoid most of the kiddies by playing pretty well exclusively with a guild composed of folks that post to a gaming forum I'm active on and also play.

 

Not surprisingly, before I found/got active with them I got burned out and quit twice. Even with videogames, it seems, it's all about who you know. :puke:

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I play guild wars...its amazing how long people will sometimes spend begging for virtual money. Ill never understand them.

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I play guild wars...its amazing how long people will sometimes spend begging for virtual money. Ill never understand them.

 

That was on sale at Fry's the other day so I bought a copy. Still haven't opened it. How is it? Have you played WoW? Can you compare the two? I'm addicted to WoW, but am a little bored now that I have a 60. I'm playing other classes and even made a horde character, but I'm still bored. After all, despite the differences in class, the quests are still the same.

 

And what's the catch with no subscription fee for Guild Wars? You get one character only? Pay a fee if you want more?

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I tried GW for a little while, but found it be rather wanting for my tastes. WoW is pretty well perfectly to my liking--though, as I said above, that has nearly everything to do with the fact that I'm in an awesome guild.

 

That said, you can't really compare GW to WoW. They're both trying to accomplish different things in different ways.

 

Apples to oranges, essentially.

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