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I just left christianity and I keep having nightmares. One was where I met satan and danced with her (satan was a girl)

And the other was where I took God's name in vain, and then the pastor commanded a demon to come out of me. (and it did)

 

I keep wondering if maybe I am wrong. To top it off my mom tells me I am going to hell, any time I bring religion up. So I am really worried.

 

I DO NOT want to get sucked back into the Christian religion...that is the last thing I want to do. I have never been so happy in my life...since I've given it up.

But I keep dreaming and worrying. What's wrong?

Can someone give me some support or advice? I could really use it right now.

Thanks,

Kristina

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Welcome to Ex-C! What you are going through is completely, totally, and utterly normal. Christianity depends on fear and punishment in order to work, and that has a VERY powerful effect on the mind.

 

Your mind is detoxing itself right now. Keep reminding yourself of that, and don't try to push it down or away. Let your emotions, thoughts, and fears come to the surface.

 

One thing that really helps me when I have unpleasent stuff like this to deal with is to let the emotions and stuff come up when it needs to and pretending it's happening to somebody else. This lets me detach from it and let it come out where it needs to be. Then I acknowledge it. I spent a lot of time telling myself "Yup. They really fucked me over and I'm angry/sad/paranoid about it."

 

Once I acknowledged it, it goes away. But give yourself time, it won't happen over night. And remember, you always have us to talk about anything you need with!

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"This is transitory." It will pass. What you feel now, dream now, see now, fear now, experience now. . . all temporary and will eventually leave you.

 

The big thing is to not panic and ride it out. It's sometimes hard when the panic reaches up and grabs your throat and you're drowning in it but that too will pass and you will wake from it unharmed. Releasing a belief system as deeply embedded as Christianity is, for many people, not an easy task. But it will happen.

 

And maybe you'll wonder or fear that you'll end up going back. For a few years I wondered if I was just going to reconvert. They tell you all the time of people who leave and come back years later regretting their wasted time or whatever. They repeat it until you think it must be true, that you will come back. You start to wonder if maybe you'll find a point where you want to return so badly that you will just forget all the reasons you no longer were able to believe. There was a time in my life when I would have done almost anything to reconvert (this was years after I left) and as much as I desired it, I found that I could not. I had gone beyond the ability to accept it. It's like really wanting to believe in Santa Claus again. You can want it with all your being but deep down it just won't take hold because you know the truth.

 

I don't know how long you've been out but there's nothing wrong with you. These things take time. Just relax and let it happen. You'll be fine.

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Changing your mind does not happen instantly. Your brain has to have time to change it's wiring and open up new pathways. The dreams are part of that fully material processing. The dreams are not a message from God or the Devil, or even your mom. The devil comming out of you in the dream could just as well be Christianity as something else. You process that change in terms and symbols with which you are most familuar. You have been taught fear and fear will therefore be part of the coming out. It will continue until you have learned new ways to see the world.

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I just left christianity and I keep having nightmares. One was where I met satan and danced with her (satan was a girl)
I think I've dated her.
And the other was where I took God's name in vain, and then the pastor commanded a demon to come out of me. (and it did)

 

I keep wondering if maybe I am wrong. To top it off my mom tells me I am going to hell, any time I bring religion up. So I am really worried.

 

I DO NOT want to get sucked back into the Christian religion...that is the last thing I want to do. I have never been so happy in my life...since I've given it up.

But I keep dreaming and worrying. What's wrong?

Can someone give me some support or advice? I could really use it right now.

It's going to take awhile. I'd reccommend you join a group of Atheist/Humanists in your area. Being around like minded people helps.

 

I always tell chrisitians that hell would be a heaven full of christians. I don't think you can tell that to your mother though. Just reasure her that she raised a pretty good kid and that you have no intention of droping the morals she taught you, just the needless god.

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(satan was a girl)

Was she hot? Ok you know what i mean...

 

What your dreaming/thinking or feeling is normal. A lot of people have gone through that. It can and will be hard but eventually youll reach the light. As was previously stated, be around like minded people and keep researching whatever it is you have doubts on, that will keep you going.

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As strange as this may sound, I think it's part of the healing process. I've seen a similar thing on an abuse survivors' group I frequent -- I and many others have encountered our nasty ex-partners in dreams.

 

Those comments from your mom may also be increasing your stress level and triggering the dreams. It might be beneficial to not initiate religious discussions with her for a while, and see if the frequency of the nightmares goes down.

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Thank you all so much for replying. It makes a lot of sense to me...I just get so worried sometimes I made the wrong decision. But I have yet to regret leaving Christianity. Thanks Again.

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Dreams are your subconscious sorting things out. They don't have a supernatural source, they come from within yourself and your psyche. So you're not getting secret messages from demons or deities in your dreams. Just messages about what you're processing in life.

 

Disentangling from Xianity doesn't happen in a day. It's going to take some time and some healing. I'd guess you're just sorting out some of your worries about it right now, that whole "what if I'm wrong??" thing. Which is normal, and doesn't mean you will or should go back.

 

I bet your dreams will change as your feelings and attitudes about Xianity change, and as you feel better and better about leaving.

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I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but I'm glad that you can say you are still happier than you've ever been in your life. When I first started deconverting (a good two or three years before I officially renounced Christianity in my mind) I had one nightmare that really stuck with me. I dreamed that I had died, and everything went black. I waited for light to appear, but nothing came. When I woke up and opened my eyes... I was still in pitch blackness (I decided to sleep in the basement because of the summer heat). That experience completely terrified me, as if God was answering my request to leave me alone by doing jus tthat in the worst possible way.

 

Be patient, stick it out, and most importantly, find some friends who will accept you no matter what your beliefs are who can support you.

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I always tell chrisitians that hell would be a heaven full of christians.

 

Well, I don't talk to Christians about their faith. I consider it pointless. But I do agree with Dave's view of heaven.

 

Frankly, if going to heaven means to be with a bunch of holier-than-thou, self-righteous hypocrites, I don't want to be there. If I don't want to be in church every Sunday, why would I want to be in heaven with them? If that is heaven, then hell is a much better option--whatever hell is.

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I just left christianity and I keep having nightmares. One was where I met satan and danced with her (satan was a girl)

And the other was where I took God's name in vain, and then the pastor commanded a demon to come out of me. (and it did)

 

I keep wondering if maybe I am wrong. To top it off my mom tells me I am going to hell, any time I bring religion up. So I am really worried.

 

I DO NOT want to get sucked back into the Christian religion...that is the last thing I want to do. I have never been so happy in my life...since I've given it up.

But I keep dreaming and worrying. What's wrong?

Can someone give me some support or advice? I could really use it right now.

Thanks,

Kristina

 

There can be no other possible explanations for nightmares, or for worrying. It's Satan! :eek:

 

And God is obviously using your mother to warn you of the danger you're in. There couldn't be any other reason she would be nagging you about it, right?

 

Right? :scratch:

 

 

Seriously snowlion, you have been brainwashed. We all were as xtians - that's how it works. The fear of hell puts asses in pews, plain and simple. It was designed to do that: xtianity gives you a fear so great it will eat you alive, unless you come back for weekly doses of their treatment.

 

All the posters above are right - what you're going through right now is deprogramming, and that takes some time. Try reading some good, critical-thinking material or books. Educating yourself really helps.

 

The greatest sin in the bible is thinking for yourself, and it is very actively discouraged. The more you use your mind to think critically, the more ridiculous hell becomes.

 

Hang in there - it will get easier to dismiss the programming! :phew:

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snowlion,

 

The earlier posters have already been right on target, so I'll just try to add a couple of comments:

 

They're right that this is normal. They're right that this is a consequence of brainwashing and Xtianity's use of fear as a tool. They're right that it is transient and will pass, and the thing to do is hang in there.

 

I'll add this: You're NOT going to hell. If your mother, your pastor, your church, society, the perpetuators of the mythos, whoever they may be, says something long enough and hard enough you will believe it, but it won't make it true. After you've been confronting and questioning the mythos for awhile, the holes in become more obvious, and it's basis in and reliance upon fear become a lot more obvious.

 

Hang in there!

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snowlion,

 

The initial period of freeing oneself from any "bad" habit almost universally brings strange dreams. Ask anybody who's tried to quit any kind of addictive substance.

 

Sometimes the dreams can turn pretty comical, too, as the subconscious gets more desperate and transparent in its attempt to challenge the new way of being. When/if this happens to you, focus on the fun of how blatantly the addiction is revealing itself, rather than on the horrors of the specific images.

 

Feel free to continue posting descriptions of your dreams here -- that'll probably take away some of their power.

 

Welcome, and good luck.

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Snowlion...

 

Having been an ex-christian for decades, I can confirm with my own story what the others have said so well. I cannot remember the last time I had any dream that dealt with a devil, demons, or jesus and angels for that matter. My dreams are just like my waking life...focused on real situations. Once all the psychological housecleaning is finished, and your mind is scrubbed free of those christian poisons, you'll feel much better...and at peace within.

 

“When I think of all the harm the Bible has done, I despair of ever writing anything to equal it.” (Oscar Wilde)

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