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Broke The News


godlessgrrl
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So I today I told my mom I'm an atheist.

 

We were having a chat on the phone and she mentioned that my cousin and her hubby are having their baby baptized in a couple of weeks. She was checking what my religious status is to see if I'd be interested in going to the baptism.

 

It was a bit weird, but no big deal. She seemed to think that I wouldn't want to go to the baptism itself and that it was hypocritical if I did, but she also said that it was up to me if I wanted to go. (Actually I would've thought it was up to my cousin if I attended, but whatever...) Then there's a family get-together afterwards.

 

I'll probably go. I haven't met the kid yet and he's already 6 months old, the first great-grandchild in the family for awhile. (I held that post until the age of 8; now the torch has been passed...)

 

I thought her comment that it was hypocritical of me to go to a church service as an atheist was kind of interesting. I think it'd be so if I went to a church service and acted like I was all into it and stuff, but otherwise it doesn't seem a big deal to me - I'd just be there to see the family, not participate in the belief system.

 

What was really odd was that she expressed some relief that I wasn't pagan anymore. Which just seems weird to me, I don't know why.

 

But whatever.

 

Afterwards we just sort of had this weird wandering conversation about various religious topics and stuff. I found out a few odd things she believes in, but managed to convince her that she's ultimately an agnostic; and she's at least honest enough to admit that her faith is based on just that: faith, and nothing else.

 

Honestly though, I don't think she's picked up a Bible for awhile. I know she hasn't been to church for ages. So it's weird to remember the rabid fundie she used to be, and compare that with the more mellow, lazy Xian she is now.

 

But yeah. It wasn't a disaster. Cat's out of the bag, I'm not disowned, it was really boring, and I figure the family will know pretty soon too. So no biggie.

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Congradulations on the boring 'coming out'. It's a hellofalot better alternative than what several folks around here have had to deal with.

 

I had a rather boring discussion about beliefs with my fundamentalist Mom a few weeks ago. I didn't drop the A-bomb... too much baggage and misconceptions associated with "atheist" to subject my dear old Ma to that label. She now knows that I'm not religious in any way, and I haven't been for a very long time (I didn't give her a specific age). Considering that she now pretty much has to believe that I'm gonna burn eternally (even though she's too polite to say it), I think she took it really well. I can tell that she just tries to avoid the topic of religion lately.

 

My Dad is a different story. What he don't know won't hurt him... and as long as he keeps taking his Lithium, everything will be alright.

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Guest Durthorin

....

 

What was really odd was that she expressed some relief that I wasn't pagan anymore. Which just seems weird to me, I don't know why.

 

...

 

 

Not really. Not believing in God isn't the same as worshipping Satan which is what most Christians seem to assume all pagans do..

 

 

 

Brighid Bless, Dur

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Thanks guys. Yeah, I realize I'm really really majorly lucky, after seeing some of the awful stuff that other folks have gone through here when they come out of the non-believing closet. I think you might be right, Burnedout, that my folks are just tired of fighting. I think people are getting old and mellowing out and realizing that as one's life shortens, some stuff is just bullshit and you should let it slide.

 

Hm, and that's a good point about the paganism/Satanism thing. I hadn't thought about that. Perhaps it's a matter of "it's worse to worship the wrong gods than worship no gods at all"?

 

Anyway. I really wish everybody here would have the same kind of response I did, instead of some of the awful disasters that people have posted about actually happening. (And really I wish that it was even better for everybody, that our families could just be happy for us and not really care that much.)

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Congrats on the understanding there, Gwen. I'm really lucky my family doesn't give a flying flip about what I am. My family and I are estranged for other reasons, but through all my incarnations as a (insert religion here), my mother has always shrugged and said, "That's nice, dear."

 

Though I do I remember getting invited to a Catholic Easter service once because I was genuinely curious about what a Catholic service was like, and my mother told me, "Ok, go and have fun, but don't take communion! That'd be disrespectful!"

 

The friend I went with brought the wafer back anyway and said I should get the full Catholic experiance. Actually, I think it was more along the lines of "If I have to eat this awful wafer, so do you!" thing.

 

I don't think I've ever tasted anything more bland and icky than that wafer. Ewwww! Christ tastes like cardboard!

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You guys are lucky. When I broke the news, my parents, especially my mom started thinking that I was crazy and that I was evil. She continues to think of me as a Christian, despite what I say. I told her on three different occasions why I didn't believe in this "faith" and after every discussion, she would return to telling everyone that I'm a Christian. It angers me to be honest.

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Gwennie, I'm just glad that everything was boring, and not a big hoop-dee-do. At times I wonder what it will be like when other family members realize I (and my wife for that much) are Pagans and not Xians anymore. Will I ever tell my folks (especially since we'll be moving out, most likely soon)? Will we tell her family, whom we'll be living near and will eventually wonder when we don't take any future children to baptism, etc?

 

Ah well, what happens, happens. But I'm still glad things went well for you, and that your mother is a "lazier" Xian. Hopefully, that's a good sign and perhaps she'll leave the cult behind one day, too...? :scratch:

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Tonight, my wife and I broke the news to my parents. I think they were both shocked, although my father claimed to have know, cause he sensed it in his spirit. He used to be a cop, so he went into anti-panic mode and was calm and composed trying to take control of the situation. They were both really shocked that my wife no longer believes. While I think my dad blames me for deconverting her I think my mom blames her for not being a praying wife. Well, my mother got really upset and cried, and when my wife spoke she got really angry at her. There was always this thing between she and my wife, but now I guess there is a bigger thing. My mother said "My worst nigthmare just came true." I am very angry at the religion for all of this. Why can't we all live together in peace an harmony? My poor mom is now suffering pain no parent should feel, but over something that is not real. *Sigh* It hurts so much to think about it.

 

Well, my dad told us he loves us and no matter what we are a part of the family. That was of some comfort to me. I have no idea what the future holds, might not be too god, but I feel a big burden came off my back now that the secret is out. Ahhhhh.

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