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What Did You Miss Out On?


Naughtyhamster
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I was pondering this question yesterday as I know that Halloween is coming up soon. I was lucky as an xtian kid to have a reasonably liberal family as I got to join in Halloween celebrations and even went to a few "harvests festivals" on the 31st. Still i know it's that time of year again where xtians will be ranting about satanism and paganism, and xtian kids will be locked in their houses to read the Bible as thier parents preach about the "evils" of this holiday.

 

Also I think of other things you might have missed out on as an xtian besides Halloween? I feel my biggest thing I have missed out on is having a deep relationship with the opposite sex as for a long time I believed in that abstenence crap. As a teenager my family kept me too busy with figure skating and homeschooling for me to date, and my first boyfriend was when I was eighteen. After two months with me we broke up as I was grossed out by French kissing. At least as I'm an older ( going on thirty) mature adult now I feel more that I'm ready with no xtian guilt to be able to have a deeper relationship with a man without feeling "dirty".

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I missed out on LIFE!

 

Basically, I didn't plan for a future because it was all in god's hands. I was taught to be as the birds and just trust god to take care of me.

 

Oh, I did get an education - Bible College and Seminary... a lot of good they do me now LOL

 

I didn't plan for retirement because I was convinced Jesus would return before I got there (I am 50 now so my retirement fund is much less than it would have been if I'd gotten an earlier start). I tithed the expected 10% of my gross income plus an additional 10% "love offering"... so, of course, that's quite a bit of money down the drain!

 

I'm just glad I saw the light before it was too late to get started. I now have a pretty good real estate business - agent and investments - and am putting away every bit I possibly can.

 

Also, I wish I'd just had a normal teenage life rather than carrying my Bible everywhere and witnessing to everyone I met. What a pain in the ass I must have been to my teachers and classmates. SIGH!

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I missed out on a head start. I was so busy waiting for god to show me my purpose in life that I am not as up to snuff with my peers in terms of education or job experiance.

 

Then again, our economy is so bad that alot of my peers are working retail because there is nothing else.

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I missed out on sleeping in late on Saturday mornings when I had to go to this lame xtian morning weekend group. And on the Sunday nights when we went to church.

 

I was lucky enough to have Halloween, tho.

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I missed out on masturbation! I couldn't orgasm thinking of Jesus watching me...and all of that other stuff you guys said too.

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I missed out on being SANE. I was acting like some mental patient that had personality/mood disorders. A lot of my secular friendships were ruined, because I was so devoted in following "God."

 

I basically wasted two years of my life without any real control over the decisions that I made. It was always like "if it didn't align with the Bible, it was futile." I missed out on the regular social life that I used to have. Now I have to rebuild that slowly again starting from scratch. Let's just hope any kind of depression that I suffer doesn't lead me to Jesus or some religion again. That is definitely not what I need.

 

I also missed out on just living a simple life and doing things based on natural human impulse. I missed out on all the violent movies that I used to watch or video games even. When I was a Christian, I was deceiving myself into believing that one glimpse of nudity was going to turn me into the same kind of people as heathens. Man, it was a messed up mindset.

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My other problem in my family is that they believe that anger,and any other negative emotions, are "evil and will eat at your soul and cause cancer and disease". As I was abused by my father as some people in my family were trying to get him and my mother to get back together "as I won't grow up right without a two parent family" I had a lot of anger issues. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and explosive disorder as a teen as people in my family wouldn't allow me to talk about the anger at my father. Also I think bottling my emotions in is the reason I have allergies and hypoglycemia now ( though my born-again grandmother says disease is caused by expression rather than repression of negative emotions).

 

When I have children if they say Mom! I'm angry!", or they cry I'm not going to say to them "Now (anger, unhappiness, panic, put in negative emotion here) is wrong. Jebus wants you to be happy! Your ( add negative emotion here) will hurt yourself and other people!" like my family would tell me. I'll say "Now what has made you mad (unhappy, scared, etc)? Let's talk about how you are feeling. Maybe I can help you find a solution to whatever is troubling you."

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I'm not really sure what I missed out on. I was able to get out of Christianity just at the right moment.

 

Well, I definitely missed out on drinking. I still miss out on that, because I'm living with my parents and have a stupid curfew, and if I were to come home drunk they'd probably send me out of state or something. I've only been semi-drunk two times.

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I missed out on realizing what a brilliant, spectacular, extraordinary person I am (as are the rest of you).

 

I missed out on reaching my potential because I had to:

- Be submissive to men and authorities

- Trust the lord for ALL my decisions

- Be humble, giving, and all that crap

- I had to believe that I was nothing without Jesus

- I had to hate sin, and this destroyed my social life and my business conections.

- Acknowledge that his ways were higher than my ways (bunch of B.S.)

 

So here I am, in my early 40's, trying to get to know myself. How crappy is that? It feels as if I am in this deep hole and I am trying to dig myself out of it. I feel like a talented singer who was told for 40 years she couldn't sing, and all of a sudden, she discovers she has a voice...but she has to find it. I am trying to find my voice.

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I missed out on dancing cause it was a sin that led to sex. For a long time every time I thought about sex I felt guilty. Still to this day I have not learned how to dance. But I still have fun.

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I missed out on realizing what a brilliant, spectacular, extraordinary person I am (as are the rest of you).

 

I missed out on reaching my potential because I had to:

- Be submissive to men and authorities

- Trust the lord for ALL my decisions

- Be humble, giving, and all that crap

- I had to believe that I was nothing without Jesus

- I had to hate sin, and this destroyed my social life and my business conections.

- Acknowledge that his ways were higher than my ways (bunch of B.S.)

 

So here I am, in my early 40's, trying to get to know myself. How crappy is that? It feels as if I am in this deep hole and I am trying to dig myself out of it. I feel like a talented singer who was told for 40 years she couldn't sing, and all of a sudden, she discovers she has a voice...but she has to find it. I am trying to find my voice.

 

JEEEEEEZUSFUCKINGCHRIST! This parallels my thoughts exactly,and almost my age. Don't forget the fear of fucking hell. I also blame church for a bad marriage in that I only dated christian, god fearing girls. A lifetime of guilt and worry about pleasing a now nonexistent god.I missed out on enjoying life.At least I have learned and now bask in my godless life.I am a moral,caring thinking person no longer owned by easter bunnies in the sky.

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I missed out on reaching my potentional also. I too trusted in the lord and allowed things in my life to happen instead of taking control of my life and directing it to where I wanted it to go. I made choices in my life based on christian teachings that were not perhaps the best for me and not ones that would have truly made me happy.

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Similar to others. I missed out on...

- Career development,

- Financial independence,

- Life development,

- Confidence,

- Relationships,

- Love,

- Sex,

- Travel,

- Youth,

- the simple joy of being alive here and now.

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Guest sawitch

I missed out on being a 'normal' teenager. No booze, no dancing, no smoking, no sex, no rebelling against my parents.

 

I am still a member of the Salvation Army and have never had an alcoholic drink. I guess I'll be leaving soon (see post in ex-christian life) and my kids can't wait to get me 'tipsy' and take me to Bingo and the casino.

 

:grin:

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PEACE!

 

I worried so much about all those sinners going to hell, about being a "Good Wife", about my husband being a role model, about the demons out to get us all, worry, worry, worry! Along with the worry came a huge does of Fear. I never really felt safe....too much spiritual warfare to do in order to protect myself, my family, my country and Christianity in general.

 

I missed out on peace.

 

WakingUp

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PEACE!

 

I worried so much about all those sinners going to hell, about being a "Good Wife", about my husband being a role model, about the demons out to get us all, worry, worry, worry! Along with the worry came a huge does of Fear. I never really felt safe....too much spiritual warfare to do in order to protect myself, my family, my country and Christianity in general.

 

I missed out on peace.

 

WakingUp

 

Hmmm... you sound like my mother, WakingUp. She worries like it's her job. This is one of the reasons I can't bring myself to be completely honest with her about my feelings regarding Christianity. When she gets worried she starts trying to control people. It's really way past time for me to move out...

 

Regarding the topic of this thread, I missed out on a lot of the fun in college because I was so caught up with Christianity's backward notions regarding sex, alcohol, and the like.

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So much that's been shared has been true for me, too. Especially letting the "Lord" lead your life so much that you never learn to take control of it yourself; you just pray and wait for God to drop something into your lap, or send someone your way with help or an answer. And wasting what could have been a great start for my retirement on tithes and offerings (guess that falls under "let God take care of it" foolishness, too).

 

But the biggie? I feel that I missed out on being myself. After leaving Christianity, I had to figure out what I really thought, felt, and wanted in life; not what someone else (God, the church, the family) thought, felt, and wanted. I'm still figuring myself out, and it's been five years since I escaped.

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I concur with Kurari. I missed out on my head start because I was, "waiting for god to fulfill his purpose in my life." I'm 24-years-old now and I still don't really know what I want to do...and I do blame it on Christianity.

It took me so long to get everything together. Being a Christian is basically living your life reactively.

 

Furthermore, I also missed out on heavy masturbation...something I have made up for though.

 

Luckily, my family was pretty liberal with holidays. I did Halloween and X-Mas wasn't shoved down my throat as Jesus' birthday.

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Sleeping in on Sundays, free Wednesdays

 

Harry Potter ( for a 2 years) Until my parents realized that was bull shit

 

My parents listening to Focus on the Family ( actually I had a subscription for like a kids version at one time, funny thing I read it on one section. It says what is evil and what is not. I knew for a fact that this was bull shit. (The Beatles are evil) So every time the magazine came, it went to the trash. The more I look at past I see how much religion I didn't agree with. I guess I always had the tug in myself that (do I really believe this?) I always had the Santa Claus-God connection. Real intersting looking back at the past though.

 

Junior Year in high school depressed most of the year (God will help I know but did he....)

If I got that out of my head maybe it would of been less depressing. However I learned something at the same time in the absence of God. THERE IS NO GOD!

 

 

However now I don't feel no guilt and when I went I away for the summer. I let everything that I missed came. I learned how to dance........OMG that was awesome. I feel like a new begining has happend since then turn from Christianity.

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Oh Yes, definitely sleeping in on Sundays! Not only do I get to sleep in but I save money on gas..Hell, I save money PERIOD not going to church.

 

I love being a non christian. I feel like I've been freed. I can think the way I want and become as intelligent as I choose.

 

My family believes that satan has helped me to stray from god via education and etc...Oh well.

 

I like the person I am now. I could never say that with christianity...of course I did, but it was always a Jesus laden monologue.

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