godlessgrrl Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 I've probably mentioned here before that a good portion of my family are devout, long-term Xians. It's mostly on my mom's side of the family, via my uncle by marriage. His family has been some kind of evangelical nondenominational thing for several generations - his parents, his father's parents, him and his brothers, all their wives and children, etc. etc. My aunt married into the religion and my cousins share it. Over the years my aunt, uncle, and cousins have gravitated towards Episcopalian services when they attend, probably since my own grandparents attended Episcopalian churches when my aunt and mom were growing up. My older cousin had her first baby about six months ago. Her husband isn't actually Xian - he's agnostic, as far as anybody can tell - but she wants to have the kid baptized, and he's fine with it. So the baptism is scheduled for this Sunday, at the Episcopalian church my aunt's family usually attends. I had an interesting convo with my mom about it a couple of weeks ago, when she invited me and the spouse - she ended up asking me what my current religious state was because she wasn't sure whether or not I'd want to go to the baptism, even though we're invited. Well, of course I'm atheist, spouse is Wiccan, and we're both invited, and I'm going, because my cousin is really a sweetheart, her hubby is cool, and I've never met the baby before and it's about time. Plus most of the folks in our family just show up for things like that anyway, if nothing else because it's a show of solidarity or family support or something. Cousin would like me to be there, so I'll be there. Well I found out some other interesting tidbits about the whole thing. Which is that my cousin is very upset because her grandparents on her dad's side aren't going to be there. Why not? They don't want to miss choir practice. Hmm. So the baby's own devoutly Xian great-grandparents can't go to the baptism of their first and (so far) only great-grandchild, because they don't want to miss choir practice. Yet I'll be going, and I'm the atheist first-cousin-once-removed. I don't buy the belief system for a minute, and yet I'm happy to put aside a Sunday morning and afternoon to be there for my cousin and her new little family. I have to admit I'm having a small moment of smugness about it. It's a shitty belief system that has its followers put their obligations to their church before things like family milestones, and I'm glad I'm not a part of it anymore. Anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 How ironic. Well, I hope you all have a fun time seeing your family and the new baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Perfect assessment Gwen. Xtian values are not family values. I would make a great effort to be with family and celebrate achievements and milestones. Xtians, I was one, would put special speakers and church events in front of family. Separating the xtian from their family is a cult behviour. I think it is merely a matter of degree. Good on you for supporting family. Mongo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I think a lot of Christians take pride in putting their commitment to their god above all else; after all, that's what they're commanded to do. I missed my own college graduation because it was on a Sunday morning and I thought I was dong a great service to the Lord. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgnosticBob AtheistPants Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Well, they are just doing what Jesus told them to do. Hate their family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-COG Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Well, of course I'm atheist, spouse is Wiccan, and we're both invited, and I'm going, because my cousin is really a sweetheart, her hubby is cool, and I've never met the baby before and it's about time. Plus most of the folks in our family just show up for things like that anyway, if nothing else because it's a show of solidarity or family support or something. Cousin would like me to be there, so I'll be there. Well I found out some other interesting tidbits about the whole thing. Which is that my cousin is very upset because her grandparents on her dad's side aren't going to be there. Why not? They don't want to miss choir practice. Hmm. So the baby's own devoutly Xian great-grandparents can't go to the baptism of their first and (so far) only great-grandchild, because they don't want to miss choir practice. Yet I'll be going, and I'm the atheist first-cousin-once-removed. I don't buy the belief system for a minute, and yet I'm happy to put aside a Sunday morning and afternoon to be there for my cousin and her new little family. I have to admit I'm having a small moment of smugness about it. It's a shitty belief system that has its followers put their obligations to their church before things like family milestones, and I'm glad I'm not a part of it anymore. Anyway. I had a similar situation a few years ago. My niece's daughter "Kathy" was going to be baptised at a Baptist church (she was around 8 years old). I was at my sister's (she's the grandmother) house when Kathy called to ask her to attend the baptism service that Sunday evening. Sis said, "Oh, but I have to go to church tonight!". I had already left my church and its beliefs behind, but I was aghast that my sister wouldn't attend her own granddaughter's baptism. Sis is very fundy, even more conservative than the Southern Baptists, so I think it was partially that she didn't want to miss out on her own denominational meeting, plus disliking that it was a different church her granddaughter was going to. I got on the phone and told Kathy that I would be there. So me, the walk-awayer, showed up while her Christian grandmother didn't. Kids remember stuff like that. You're doing the right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted November 3, 2006 Author Share Posted November 3, 2006 Thanks guys. Baptism is this Sunday - oddly enough, Guy Fawkes Day, go figure. I saw the irony in the situation right away but I'm honestly not surprised either. This was the situation which led to my pointing out to my mom that Jesus came to divide people, not unite them, which led to its own interesting convo later. The baby's great-grandparents are just doing what good little Xians do and setting their priorities accordingly. It's no real surprise. I'm actually looking forward to the whole thing, since I haven't met this kid yet and I hear he's really a cutie. Plus my atheist-in-Anglican-clothing grandma will be there too (she's the 3rd great-grandparent) and I dig my gma, she's cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 So me, the walk-awayer, showed up while her Christian grandmother didn't. Kids remember stuff like that. Exactly! And kids don't always get the message these devout Christians would wish for the very reason that they were so hypocritical. Need I say it--all we have to do is look around at all of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenneyVTX Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 I think they miss the fact that chidren are little organic balance sheets. They keep a running total of promises kept vs promises broken in their heads. I wouldn't want to be on the recieving end when that balance comes due. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gobbler Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 The "can't miss choir practice" is just an excuse to cover up their real feelings towards the Episcopal church tradition of infant baptism. The grandparents being fundy non-denoms, they probably think they would be condoning such practices if they attended. They probably believe that episcopals are not "true christians". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amelia Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Hi, What a sorry, lame a$$ excuse! Typical though. Coming from a pastor's family, I know they put god first and family last. Put simply, they're try hards! Amelia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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