The Ultimaterest Flamer: A Gay Fractured Fairy Tale By Onyx Y.

[Onyx]

I originally told this story to a friend via MSN today, since then, I've edited it some and released it you all. Enjoy.

 

The Ultimaterest Flamer: A Gay Fractured Fairy Tale By Onyx Y.

Written by Onyx Y.

Copyright © 2006 Onyx Y.

 

Once upon a time, there was a gay person called Topaz. He kissed every gay and bi man on the planet. Well, almost every.

 

He earned the title of "The Ultimaterest Flamer" because of his reputation. But there was one man he couldn't kiss. His name was Ashram. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't bring himself to kiss him out of sheer shyness. He had the most gigantic crush on him and he daydreamed about him, everyday, he agonized about approaching him.

 

So one day, he decided to search for him. Topaz travelled some 150 kms in order to get to the famous Misfit’s Palace where all the gay, bi, lesbians and other misfits hung out. Topaz felt Ashram must have been there. But something was wrong. It seemed to be taken over by homophobes. Its new name was “Unfocused on the Family Palace” Topaz was distraught and saddened.

 

There were two guards with cross necklaces and they had de-gay ray guns. "How do I get past these guards?" thought Topaz. He found a Playboy conveniently located on the gutter and took it. He threw it at the guards, they scrambled at it. He entered the Unfocused on the Family Palace, he was slightly afraid and the hallway was ominous with flames lighting the mostly grey and dark hallway. He went as fast as he could in order to get to the hall because the hall was extremely creepy to him. But! There were a lot of homophobic guys and Ashram was nowhere to be found.

 

"Where was he?" he thought. He decided to ask around. To his shock, the boss of the palace hated gays, he imprisoned them in dungeons and Ashram’s name was mentioned “He’s a very faggotish guy, be careful of the poof! My boss James Dobbieson will turn him straight soon in his dungeon underground.” one of them said to him. (Topaz was dismayed but what he could do?)

 

Topaz wasn’t surprised. He thought "Cool, Ashram is gay, but I need to rescue him now!" He went underground, looking into the dungeons for Ashram and the others. He found Ashram and his friends in a huge dungeon. "Thank goodness, you're alive!" Topaz said to Ashram who was sickly and crying. Ashram told Topaz, "He took over this place by force in order to control the world and get money for a global mind control device." Topaz sighed and found a way to open the jail door. He cut the metal with a crude wooden stake (It was extremely easy to cut because it was poorly made, Topaz retorted to Ashram “Haven’t you thought about reaching that wooden stake?”) then carried Ashram because he was too weak to continue and he walked though with difficulty, while Topaz’s friends ran for their life.

 

But! James was there, angry. He shouted “I was looking at my video cameras; you and your deviants were escaping!" He beat up Ashram, Topaz lunged at him but the evil boss hit him. He looked in horror as Ashram was bloodied. Topaz was now incapitated. All the friends was gone, they was escaping for their life.

 

The evil boss laughed, mockingly and shouted. "Your gayness will be no more!" then took out his degaying gun. James was dancing with glee. “Wooohoo, I love to hurt these deviants!” then pointed it at Ashram.

 

Then something strange happened! The most beautiful man Topaz had ever seen appeared with campy clothes, wings and a wand. James recoiled in fright, shot at the fairy with the de-gay ray gun but it was no use. The fairy was still gay. The fairy sighed and turned him into a bear man. The new bear James shouted "YAY! I'm Mr Bear now! Grrrr!" Then the fairy healed Ashram. He was good as new and hotter than ever before.

 

Suddenly the palace turned into its old riot of rainbow on the walls self by the fairy’s wand flick. Ashram came to Topaz and hugged him. Topaz told Ashram that he liked him, Ashram looked very flattered. Then he grabbed Topaz’s neck and kissed him for a long time.

 

Years later, on a beach, they married and became husband and husband. They lived happily ever after.

 

The End.