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Have Not Deconverted But Is Questioning And Would Like Help Please.


Thunder 34
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Okay about me for the first 12 or so years of my life I was raised Pentecostal well I guess i could say that. My mom and sis try to act religious and how they so good and on fire for the lord then theyre cursing screaming etc. I then converted to the Seventh Day Adventist church and have been the happiest though I still didnt act like a "good" christian though i tried. I officially joined the church a couple of months ago. The thing is ive been reading this page http://www.deism.com/paine_essay04.htm and others like it and it seems i found out some thing but its like i just cant do it. I mean I have been a hardcore believer and have said that the only thing that would convert me was showing that Jesus didnt fulfill the prophecies but its like "no no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CANT QUIT NOW ESPECIALLY HOW I JUST GOT BAPTIZED IN AUGUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i dont even think that i want to deconvert but i cant push these things to the back of my head. And when I think what if Jesus wasnt God and Christianity is fake i feel extremely alone. I mean Jesus is the only thing I have!

 

Another thing is if i deconvert I will KILL the good people I know at church. Ive become good freinds and it would probaly kill them to see me leave.

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Welcome to the forums Thunder. First off, I think that you should stay calm, cool, collected.

 

It seems to me that you have more than just Jesus. You have yourself and you at least have access to a computer.

 

Why have you been questioning your faith? What are these thoughts that you're having that you can no longer push to the back of your mind?

 

Again I want to welcome you. The people here are generally kind and many of us have been where you are.

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Welcome to the forums Thunder. First off, I think that you should stay calm, cool, collected.

 

It seems to me that you have more than just Jesus. You have yourself and you at least have access to a computer.

 

Why have you been questioning your faith? What are these thoughts that you're having that you can no longer push to the back of your mind?

 

Again I want to welcome you. The people here are generally kind and many of us have been where you are.

Awhile ago I questioned if a god exist but that stoped and its been like 2 weeks. I have been having fears and questioning. I could push them to the back of my mind its just I know i cant and if i do ill be in darkness. Its that it appears that Jesus didnt fulfilled all the OT prophecies which make him a false messaiah that is the major thing but a minor one is that there seems to be errors in the bible like if moses wrote the first five books of the bible how could he talk about his death?

 

One reason that im afraid of deconverting is that my freinds that ive made in church will be crushed. I think i will kill them if i deconvert. And like i said earlier ive seen these false things in teh bible but its like i cant deconvert theres something stoping me idk how to explain.

 

oops said the same thing twice but didnt notice it the first time

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Awhile ago I questioned if a god exist but that stoped and its been like 2 weeks. I have been having fears and questioning. I could push them to the back of my mind its just I know i cant and if i do ill be in darkness. Its that it appears that Jesus didnt fulfilled all the OT prophecies which make him a false messaiah that is the major thing but a minor one is that there seems to be errors in the bible like if moses wrote the first five books of the bible how could he talk about his death?

 

One reason that im afraid of deconverting is that my freinds that ive made in church will be crushed. I think i will kill them if i deconvert. And like i said earlier ive seen these false things in teh bible but its like i cant deconvert theres something stoping me idk how to explain.

Try and be patient with yourself Thunder. Give yourself some time. You don't have to figure all this stuff out tonight or even tomorrow. I assure you that even if you do lose your faith it will not be the end of you, nor will it be the end of your friends. Further you don't have to abandon your faith if you don't want to or can't.

 

How do you feel right at this moment?

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Awhile ago I questioned if a god exist but that stoped and its been like 2 weeks. I have been having fears and questioning. I could push them to the back of my mind its just I know i cant and if i do ill be in darkness. Its that it appears that Jesus didnt fulfilled all the OT prophecies which make him a false messaiah that is the major thing but a minor one is that there seems to be errors in the bible like if moses wrote the first five books of the bible how could he talk about his death?

 

One reason that im afraid of deconverting is that my freinds that ive made in church will be crushed. I think i will kill them if i deconvert. And like i said earlier ive seen these false things in teh bible but its like i cant deconvert theres something stoping me idk how to explain.

Try and be patient with yourself Thunder. Give yourself some time. You don't have to figure all this stuff out tonight or even tomorrow. I assure you that even if you do lose your faith it will not be the end of you, nor will it be the end of your friends. Further you don't have to abandon your faith if you don't want to or can't.

 

How do you feel right at this moment?

I said to myself before i read all of that stuff "the only thing thats going to get me away from the Bible is the Bible." Unless someone shows me from the Bible that the Bible is correct about Jesus and the prophecies and everything I feel that i cant stay but if i go i feel alone and everything its a lose lose situation for me. Right now i feel confused and frightened

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Guest Lady Heather

Hello Thunder,

 

Most importantly you are not ready to engage in discourse or arguments with these friends of yours about your doubts. If I were you, I wouldn't tell them anything about my doubts...you need some time to come to terms with the fallacies you have just discovered in the "Good Book". Realize that many of your church friends know about the inconsistencies too, but they are not ready to push the knowledge to the forefront, step away, and be without their church family. It can be hard when you don't have many outside friends or any other belief system in place.

 

When you finally make that step and you are ready to distance yourself don't argue with them and don't give any warning...they will just hold you down and draw you back into Christianity because no matter how badly the religion hurts you it is the ONLY thing you know right now.

 

Don't feel obligated to argue or make any justifications...just stop coming around. If you can tell us more about how connected you are to these people please do. Are any of them roomates, etc.

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The only way i know them is going to church. One of them who is my best freind in and out of the church I see once a day cause he is my math teacher because I go to the church school.

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I said to myself before i read all of that stuff "the only thing thats going to get me away from the Bible is the Bible." Unless someone shows me from the Bible that the Bible is correct about Jesus and the prophecies and everything I feel that i cant stay but if i go i feel alone and everything its a lose lose situation for me. Right now i feel confused and frightened

Many of us here have also felt confused and frightened. The confusion passed as we educated ourselves. The fear subsided as we realized that we could just be human.

 

I am not qualified to try and show you how the Bible is a house of cards. But others here are. I'm sure that if you stay here a while they will be more than happy to show you that the Bible has so much internal inconsistency that it can't possibly be literally true. Some here have studied the Bible so much that it was the Bible itself that convinced them that Christianity was myth. That does not mean that it is without value. It means only that they know it as myth.

 

Are you going to stay with us for a while? Will you speak with others here who are more qualified than me?

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I said to myself before i read all of that stuff "the only thing thats going to get me away from the Bible is the Bible." Unless someone shows me from the Bible that the Bible is correct about Jesus and the prophecies and everything I feel that i cant stay but if i go i feel alone and everything its a lose lose situation for me. Right now i feel confused and frightened

Many of us here have also felt confused and frightened. The confusion passed as we educated ourselves. The fear subsided as we realized that we could just be human.

 

I am not qualified to try and show you how the Bible is a house of cards. But others here are. I'm sure that if you stay here a while they will be more than happy to show you that the Bible has so much internal inconsistency that it can't possibly be literally true. Some here have studied the Bible so much that it was the Bible itself that convinced them that Christianity was myth. That does not mean that it is without value. It means only that they know it as myth.

 

Are you going to stay with us for a while? Will you speak with others here who are more qualified than me?

Of course I will and its what I have been desperately want and need.

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Welcome,

 

Have a read here -

 

http://jesusneverexisted.com/index.html

 

and here -

 

http://www.evilbible.com/

 

In total God kills 371,186 people directly and orders another 1,862,265 people murdered - according to the "Bible."
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Guest Lady Heather

The only way i know them is going to church. One of them who is my best freind in and out of the church I see once a day cause he is my math teacher because I go to the church school.

 

 

OK-- YOU GO TO SCHOOL THERE?

 

This is difficult...seems like you are all tied up. How old are you? It sounds like you are still living at home with your parents and they sent you to a religious school. If that is the case, I apologize for saying that just sucks.

 

It sure would be easier if you were not going to school there, but at least you are on the right track. It doesn't happen overnight anyway. Find other sites like this and HANG AROUND at least for now until you can make real changes in your life. :)

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I know it doesn happen overnight, but (this probaly isnt the best allegory but its the only one i can think of) I feel like im on a sinking boat in the middle of the storm-should i go and try to use the radio or should i not risk it and jump off.

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I feel like im on a sinking boat in the middle of the storm-should i go and try to use the radio or should i not risk it and jump off.

This feeling will pass.

 

I'm glad that you're going to stay for a while. I look forward to seeing how this part of your journey unfolds.

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I know i am very new here and am quick and that yall might say "oh hes just a boy who doesnt know what he is talking about and just wants to be cool!" thats false but i think i am ready to no longer be a christian. I mean my faith has slowly been dieing for the past week or so and i think it is about to die...

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Well what will be, will be. Listen, there is no rush and no pressure here. Why don't you sleep on it for a week or two and then see how you feel?

 

If you are surrounded by Christians in your current situation, I would wait to tell them of your deconversion until you get on your feet.

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You know that now I am no longer Christian I feel great! I dont have to go around worrying to death if I am angering a God and make sure I am perfect. I am so much happier.

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You know that now I am no longer Christian I feel great! I dont have to go around worrying to death if I am angering a God and make sure I am perfect. I am so much happier.

 

Glad to hear about it. You'll be amazed how things make sense for you and yet other people who believe will turn mental backflips to make their explainations work for them and it all still sounds so phoney.

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Probably the easiest and best way for a person to deconvert would be to educate yourself on the matter as much as possible. All the while practicing patience as best as you can up to the point where you feel comfortable with your new knowledge.

 

The time will eventually come when you KNOW that it's time to let others know about your position, and you won't feel uncomfortable about it. Until then, I'd suggest that you continue doing your christian thing while you're educating yourself. And most of all -- be patient.

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Thunder 34. Is there anyone you can talk to in your extended family? An aunt or uncle that you trust? Maybe there is someone you can trust, who may not be a beliver. Risk making new friends in your neighbourhood.....maybe join a sports club or something that interests you. Meet new people who are not christians, who you may have been told not to mix with.

 

An important part of my deconversion was getting back into the "real world". And once I had met different sorts of people I realised that they weren,t all doomed sinners in the devils kingdom out to get me. Just human beings...just like me. I thank god for my non christian friends at the time. Many of whom showed more love and acceptance than many christians.

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You know that now I am no longer Christian I feel great! I dont have to go around worrying to death if I am angering a God and make sure I am perfect. I am so much happier.
Many people experience the same relief when they shed the yoke of religion. You're in good hands here and many of these people have already gone through what you are going through now. I just wanted to add that there is life after religion, real life. Give it a chance.
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You know that now I am no longer Christian I feel great! I dont have to go around worrying to death if I am angering a God and make sure I am perfect. I am so much happier.

 

Welcome, Thunder,

 

From your posts I gather that you're a young person, probably about the same age I was when I first left fundamentalist christianity...forty years ago. I haven't been back since. Truly, it's a great feeling to know that your life belongs to you, there is no guilt for being a "sinner", and there is no reason to fear the wrath of a god, any more than there is to fear vampire-men-from-the-moon.

 

The others who've posted are so right...take your time, and educate yourself on the reasons to reject christianity. There are good links in the "Introductory Stuff" on the left of the page.

 

Enjoy your new online community, and best wishes.

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