Jump to content

Piss On Xmas


Lycorth
 Share

Recommended Posts

Merry Festivus Everyone!

 

This is one instance where life really really needs to immitate art.

 

 

***************

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus

 

Festivus is a nondenominational holiday featured in "The Strike" episode of Seinfeld, a popular United States based television sitcom of the 1990s. The holiday was a plot device in the episode, which first aired on December 18, 1997. Many people, influenced or inspired by Seinfeld, now celebrate the holiday, in varying degrees of seriousness. Some do it religiously; others do it with good tidings in their respect to Seinfeld.

 

According to Seinfeld, Festivus is celebrated each year on December 23, but many people celebrate it other times, often in early December. Its slogan is "A Festivus for the rest of us!!" An aluminium pole is generally used in lieu of a Christmas tree or other holiday decoration, shedding holiday materialism. Those attending participate in the Airing of Grievances in which each person tells each and everyone else all the ways they've disappointed him/her over the past year, and after a Festivus dinner, The Feats of Strength are performed. Traditionally, Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Glad you're feeling better after the rant, Varokhar...

 

I used to loathe and dread the holidays too. From T-giving to NYD, I used to just want to melt into the wall and disappear 'til the whole damn thing was over. More recently, though, I've come to accept the season as a fall-winter transition holiday time. No religious connotation, of course, just trying to put the days into perspective as an ancient celebration of the end of the "green" days, the coming of winter, the end of the year, beginning a new one, looking forward to the next spring...a celebration of the seasons. That made it better for me. I pay no attention to the religious symbols, but I do like the old icons like wreaths, decorated trees, and colored lights. I just put any christian imagery aside, as they are irrelevant to me. And as long as family and friends gatherings are just for fun and enjoyment, I'm not bothered by that either.

 

I hope that eventually you'll find a comfortable equilibrium as well. You've sure got a lot of stress to deal with this year, but hopefully you'll find some time to take a breather, enjoy at least a bit of it, and get set up for the year to come. May things work out well for you...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happy Festivus indeed, Mongo :)

 

Thanks, Piprus, I know what you mean; from Thanksgiving to NYD is like that for me, too. I just want to get wasted and crank Slayer till 01/02. But I'm sure I'll cope well enough - if I spit enough venom, I usually feel just fine :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

from Thanksgiving to NYD is like that for me, too. I just want to get wasted and crank Slayer till 01/02.

 

You say this like it's a bad thing... ;)

 

Seriously, that's how I "celebrate" the cultural year's-end holidays; just do the things I enjoy. Granted, most of those things happen to be the same conventional activities others enjoy at this time of year, but I'd stick with my plan even if that weren't the case. If other people don't like that, tough; I'm doing this to make me happy.

 

If your way of celebrating the holidays is to get smashed and listen to death metal at enough decibals to cause a small earthquake, then sit back, mix a drink worthy of the Irish Pub Championships and make with the fucking with plate tectonics. :wicked:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The one thing I never understood about Christmas was how they led a bunch of kids into believing there was such a dude named Santa. Okay, the kids grow up and find out that Santa isn't real, what then? What the hell are they doing by making kids believe in something that they'll eventually find out is unreal? Why are they deceiving kids? Is there some explanation behind this?

 

Anyway, onto the topic. I hate Christmas. I've made up my mind. I hate it now. From the early Christmas decorations in No-fuckin-vember to the Christmas Carols to teen girls wearing Santa hats -- I hate it all. Why? Annoyance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The one thing I never understood about Christmas was how they led a bunch of kids into believing there was such a dude named Santa. Okay, the kids grow up and find out that Santa isn't real, what then? What the hell are they doing by making kids believe in something that they'll eventually find out is unreal? Why are they deceiving kids? Is there some explanation behind this?

 

Because it's fun. It's fun when you're little to believe in Santa. I remember how excited I would get coming downstairs and seeing the empty cookie plate and milk glass I set out the night before. I didn't get to see a lot of goodwill or kindness come in my direction most of the year growing up (my father actually threw me across the room in a fit of rage on Christmas day when I was three). Around Christmastime Santa was...something safe to believe in. I didn't have to prove myself to Santa. Santa liked me and gave me stuff just because.

 

I don't remember when or how I found out Santa wasn't real, or if I even had issues with it. I just remember my parents efforts in Christmas died a lot with Santa's legend after I got too old to believe Santa was a real person. My mother would just shove shit into boxes from last year instead of wrapping it, and if we wanted a fire in the fireplace or breakfast or anything, we had to do it ourselves. And we would never get to touch our presents till afternoon at the earliest so we missed out on getting to play with our friends because we were still waiting for the adults to get out of bed. We were absolutely not allowed to touch those gifts till then. Helping bake Danish Christmas cookies with my mom died away. A lot of the little things I really treasured about this time of year just went away, including Santa's main message of doing stuff for the people you love just because you care.

 

I guess I can see why my parents just didn't want to do it anymore. I ended up getting stuck with their role in my teens after my dad left and I got stuck in the "Mom" role of the household. "Creating Christmas" was one of those duties and it was such bloody hard work, especially with nobody really giving a damn or helping you or finding ways to ruin the good time you so carefully created for them. I really started to hate the holidays.

 

These days, I try not to repeat the same mistakes and try to have the fun I used to have. It's not quite the same thing, but right now we have snow on the ground and I ran outside today to play in it with my mp3 three player on while listening to the Charlie Brown version of "Oh Tannenbaum" as I made a little snowman.

 

I deserved those few moments to feel like a five year old and get excited about Santa coming again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The one thing I never understood about Christmas was how they led a bunch of kids into believing there was such a dude named Santa. Okay, the kids grow up and find out that Santa isn't real, what then? What the hell are they doing by making kids believe in something that they'll eventually find out is unreal? Why are they deceiving kids? Is there some explanation behind this?

 

Because it's fun. It's fun when you're little to believe in Santa. I remember how excited I would get coming downstairs and seeing the empty cookie plate and milk glass I set out the night before. I didn't get to see a lot of goodwill or kindness come in my direction most of the year growing up (my father actually threw me across the room in a fit of rage on Christmas day when I was three). Around Christmastime Santa was...something safe to believe in. I didn't have to prove myself to Santa. Santa liked me and gave me stuff just because.

 

I don't remember when or how I found out Santa wasn't real, or if I even had issues with it. I just remember my parents efforts in Christmas died a lot with Santa's legend after I got too old to believe Santa was a real person. My mother would just shove shit into boxes from last year instead of wrapping it, and if we wanted a fire in the fireplace or breakfast or anything, we had to do it ourselves. And we would never get to touch our presents till afternoon at the earliest so we missed out on getting to play with our friends because we were still waiting for the adults to get out of bed. We were absolutely not allowed to touch those gifts till then. Helping bake Danish Christmas cookies with my mom died away. A lot of the little things I really treasured about this time of year just went away, including Santa's main message of doing stuff for the people you love just because you care.

 

I guess I can see why my parents just didn't want to do it anymore. I ended up getting stuck with their role in my teens after my dad left and I got stuck in the "Mom" role of the household. "Creating Christmas" was one of those duties and it was such bloody hard work, especially with nobody really giving a damn or helping you or finding ways to ruin the good time you so carefully created for them. I really started to hate the holidays.

 

These days, I try not to repeat the same mistakes and try to have the fun I used to have. It's not quite the same thing, but right now we have snow on the ground and I ran outside today to play in it with my mp3 three player on while listening to the Charlie Brown version of "Oh Tannenbaum" as I made a little snowman.

 

I deserved those few moments to feel like a five year old and get excited about Santa coming again.

 

 

That's depressing.

 

When I was a youngster, I found out that Santa wasn't real when I didn't receive any presents one Christmas night. The Christmas before that, I was really upset that I didn't receive some big toy robot or a toy in general. Instead, I was treated with just a glass of cold milk and a tray of cookies set by my dad. I kind of sobbed while eating those cookies and I remember that those cookies were really good. Back then though, I was disappointed that Santa didn't give me anything bigger, even when I waited until midnight when I unintentionally fell asleep. I asked my dad repeatedly about Santa, until he finally admitted that he was the one that set up the presents of all the years prior. Since then, I quit putting up the Christmas tree and my whole family just stopped celebrating Christmas altogether. In fact, a few years after that, we just stopped celebrating any holiday whatsoever. That meant, no more people coming over for those big dinners and social hours. I just grew up bitter 'cause I felt left out all the time. That includes Santa, "God," people, etc. The only one special moment when Christmas meant even a hint of "joy" to me was when there was this secret Santa thing going on at my church. This one girl that I sort of grew up with had my name and she gave me a present with the intention that she could maybe go out on a date with me. It never happened, but just that note made me feel wanted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To top that all off, my best friend has just been discharged from the hospital after suffering yet another recurring bout of severe depression. Damn manic-depressive shit. He used to be so happy and enjoyed the little things of life. But the past five months or so, he's been off and on suicidal and depressed. The happy times we shared, like brothers, truly seem to be a distant memory

 

I can understand your position with your family and friend for my family has more or less dissolved even at christmas time after daddy died in 1987. I'm 56 years old and have experienced tremendous anxiety at the holiday season. Mostly guilt for not having enough money to buy presents for my friends etc.,etc...

 

But I don't anymore and sometimes I reminisce with the old favorite standbys like "It's a Wonderful Life" with ole Jimmy Stewart or "Miracle on 34th Street". Try to enlighten yourself with the joy of people that are truly happy and drink the milk and eat the cookies that some little child set out for santa.

 

Also some information to share about depression on holidays for your friend's situation and possibly yours too. Hope it helps Varokhar.

 

Health lifestyle

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I hate Christmas too.

 

However, I did put up a tree and I am going to buy some stuff for my mom and my cat...

 

Otherwise, I hate my other family members and I loathe the commercialization of this holiday...and the jesus part sucks too...

 

bah fucking humbug.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Varokhar, could you also be suffering from a little seasonal-affective disorder, especially with your move to such a northerly state? Is there any way you could have your dog grought to your new home? I know I'd be super-depressed if I didn't have my Greyhounds.

 

A different thought is perhaps you can try a couple of things from a Asatruar point of view-- hanging greens, or sharing a bowl of (well spiked, if that's your thing) wassail. I'm almost half tempted to ask you for an address where I could send you some oranges (from my trees)

 

Lidia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

o top that all off, my best friend has just been discharged from the hospital after suffering yet another recurring bout of severe depression. Damn manic-depressive shit. He used to be so happy and enjoyed the little things of life. But the past five months or so, he's been off and on suicidal and depressed. The happy times we shared, like brothers, truly seem to be a distant memory.

 

Bipolar Disorder (manic-depression) can be a very difficult illness to deal with - both for those who have it (I do) and for those who care about them. I hope your friend feels better soon! I can relate to what you both are going through, as I have been hospitalized for severe, suicidal depression in the past.

 

When I first moved up here to Alaska in 2004 I was separated from my cat wife Tasha for several months. It was depressing, so I can sympathize with your feelings about being separated from your dog.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't like Christmas that much, either. I used to as a kid, but as an adult, I've realized that it's all about obligations. It's about being obligated to buy people presents who you wouldn't otherwise buy presents for, except maybe on their birthdays. It's about being obligated to visit relatives who are mostly annoying and who you wouldn't have to visit otherwise. It's about having to put up decorations that you wouldn't put up otherwise.

 

Blech.

 

Can we have an un-Christmas day instead?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I fucking hate Xmas too.

 

The only thing that really made it great in past years was my dad's parents. I don't know why, maybe just because they were around for so long and then they died and it was like, what's the fucking point now? They've been dead for nearly a decade and I just haven't felt like I've had enough time to get into the holidays in my own way.

 

And maybe I haven't. I mean they died, and my first marriage fell the fuck apart, and I divorced, and I had to learn to live on my own, and was poor, and dealt with all this bullshit and crap for like 7 years where a lot of my friends and family were sick or dying or moving or losing their jobs or whatever... seriously, the late 90's to early 00's sucked massive amounts of dead penguins' dicks. So I dunno, maybe all that has been a Real Reason™ why I haven't felt like I've had much time to make the hellidays what I want: I've spent the past decade dealing with too much *other* crap instead, emotionally.

 

Well, so I'm looking for a job now. That's a good thing. And I think that spouse and I are going to have traveling be one of the things we spend our $$ on. And fuck, maybe next year we'll start a holiday tradition of being the fuck out of the damn country every Xmas.

 

I kind of like New Year's though. That holiday actually makes more sense to me, I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because there's more booze involved, plus there's usually lots of fireworks locally (mostly illegal, but who cares), an excuse for a party and/or some great food (it's Dungeness season here!), and this general idea of "Okay! The last year is fucking OVER WITH, let's make this one better!"

 

If I could just sort of skip all the crap between T-day and New Year's, I'd be happy with that. Send everybody postcards for Xmas from whatever tropical paradise I'm staying at that year, and fuck 'em otherwise.

 

Yeah. I hope I just made the baby Jesus cry. :Wendywhatever:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes! Everyone is so proper and family like during the holiday. Next cance they get they fuck you every wich way. So mush for FUCKIN peace on earth. I celebrate the holiday,eat drink responsibly and be merry. Listen to carols and put it in perspective.

Religion and gods and worship is now happily irrelevant to me.So enjoy the holiday as best you can. Be well!

 

Wow! Forgive the spelling in last post. Got carried away with emotions.

Also, Its a Wonderful Life is still my favorite film. Go figure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish we could keep the getting together with family and the, using a term I've borrowed from my Jewish friends, Festival of Lights--and dump the obligatory gifting (and RE-gifting :ugh: ), except maybe for the children.

 

The Christian aspects don't bother me so much because I think even many devout Christians know this stuff is totally fabricated mythology. I mean three kings, in a manger, virgin birth, Joseph didn't tell Mary to take a hike...Jeeeez.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I supposed it has to do with what Christmas meant to your family and the experiences you had with it growing up. I love the holiday and don't see that it has anything to do with the birth of Jesus despite the claims to the contrary by the church.

 

For me it was just a time of warm memories, family get togethers, and all that sappy cheer. I have a lot of nostagia for the Christmas times of my youth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For me it was just a time of warm memories, family get togethers, and all that sappy cheer. I have a lot of nostagia for the Christmas times of my youth.

Me too. Christmas used to be my favourite holiday up until a few years ago. I hate it now though because it's gotten so commercialized.

 

That, and it's just me and my mom in a crappy apartment that we can't decorate. So, we don't celebrate the holidays as much anymore (although the 3-course meals are still there). We don't have much money, so we can't really afford to buy each other gifts. So we simply spend our time together like we usually do.

 

With the exception of a bigger meal, the holidays are just another day for us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

The one thing I never understood about Christmas was how they led a bunch of kids into believing there was such a dude named Santa. Okay, the kids grow up and find out that Santa isn't real, what then? What the hell are they doing by making kids believe in something that they'll eventually find out is unreal? Why are they deceiving kids? Is there some explanation behind this?

 

Because it's fun. It's fun when you're little to believe in Santa. I remember how excited I would get coming downstairs and seeing the empty cookie plate and milk glass I set out the night before. I didn't get to see a lot of goodwill or kindness come in my direction most of the year growing up (my father actually threw me across the room in a fit of rage on Christmas day when I was three). Around Christmastime Santa was...something safe to believe in. I didn't have to prove myself to Santa. Santa liked me and gave me stuff just because.

 

I don't remember when or how I found out Santa wasn't real, or if I even had issues with it. I just remember my parents efforts in Christmas died a lot with Santa's legend after I got too old to believe Santa was a real person. My mother would just shove shit into boxes from last year instead of wrapping it, and if we wanted a fire in the fireplace or breakfast or anything, we had to do it ourselves. And we would never get to touch our presents till afternoon at the earliest so we missed out on getting to play with our friends because we were still waiting for the adults to get out of bed. We were absolutely not allowed to touch those gifts till then. Helping bake Danish Christmas cookies with my mom died away. A lot of the little things I really treasured about this time of year just went away, including Santa's main message of doing stuff for the people you love just because you care.

 

I guess I can see why my parents just didn't want to do it anymore. I ended up getting stuck with their role in my teens after my dad left and I got stuck in the "Mom" role of the household. "Creating Christmas" was one of those duties and it was such bloody hard work, especially with nobody really giving a damn or helping you or finding ways to ruin the good time you so carefully created for them. I really started to hate the holidays.

 

These days, I try not to repeat the same mistakes and try to have the fun I used to have. It's not quite the same thing, but right now we have snow on the ground and I ran outside today to play in it with my mp3 three player on while listening to the Charlie Brown version of "Oh Tannenbaum" as I made a little snowman.

 

I deserved those few moments to feel like a five year old and get excited about Santa coming again.

I agree. I loved preparing cookies and milk for Santa (we always baked sugar cookies and hand-painted them when I was little), and a bowl of oats for the reindeer. And then the joy of seeing what Santa had left in the morning was what really made the holidays for me.

 

Even now, I still go through the motions even though it's been over a decade since I found out he wasn't real. My parents still fill up the stocking and leave one present too large to fit in it for me, the same way "Santa" would. And I still have my stocking that my grandmother hand-sewed for me that gets filled at her house, and it matches the ones she sewed for my brother and my cousins, when each of us joined the family. The Christmas before last I was still leaving out a plate of cookies for "Santa" (really it was down to two cookies on a small plate, instead of the much larger plate of cookies I left as a kid), because it's tradition for me and it still brings me pleasure to go through the motions and the memories, even though I know it's not real.

 

I don't like Christmas that much, either. I used to as a kid, but as an adult, I've realized that it's all about obligations. It's about being obligated to buy people presents who you wouldn't otherwise buy presents for, except maybe on their birthdays. It's about being obligated to visit relatives who are mostly annoying and who you wouldn't have to visit otherwise. It's about having to put up decorations that you wouldn't put up otherwise.

See, I don't see any obligations in Christmas. Maybe it's because those things that you view as "obligations" I view as something I want to do. I like getting and giving gifts to my family, especially since I never remember to the rest of the year even though I want to. And I enjoy getting to spend a whole day with them playing with said gifts and just hanging out when normally I'd only get maybe two or three hours a week with them. And my grandma's court is always very well decorated and has won best block decorations several years in the past. It's something that gives us pleasure during a time of year when the coldness and the decrease of daylight and the storms would make us feel worse.

 

I supposed it has to do with what Christmas meant to your family and the experiences you had with it growing up. I love the holiday and don't see that it has anything to do with the birth of Jesus despite the claims to the contrary by the church.

 

For me it was just a time of warm memories, family get togethers, and all that sappy cheer. I have a lot of nostagia for the Christmas times of my youth.

I think you hit the nail on the head, right there. I love the good memories, and the fact that we're still doing them. The most religious my family has ever gotten about Christmas is my mom used to stay up to watch the midnight mass with the Pope on TV (she hasn't done it the past few years because she tires out too easily), and then the religious Christmas carols. What my family actually did together was never religous, but was about celebrating family and making good memories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't like Christmas that much, either. I used to as a kid, but as an adult, I've realized that it's all about obligations. It's about being obligated to buy people presents who you wouldn't otherwise buy presents for, except maybe on their birthdays. It's about being obligated to visit relatives who are mostly annoying and who you wouldn't have to visit otherwise. It's about having to put up decorations that you wouldn't put up otherwise.

 

Blech.

 

Can we have an un-Christmas day instead?

 

I made a pretty sweet deal with my family this year. Nobody buys presents for each other, except for their own immediate families (spouses/partners, children). On eX-mas day, we get together and simply play games and have fun with each other; enjoying each other's company. Kids can play their video games, the adults can enjoy various card games, darts, drinking games, whatever. No obligations, no religion.

 

Of course, my son believes in Santa Claus. Why? So that when he grows up, he will learn, just as I have learned, that simply believing in something doesn't make it true.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

More recently, though, I've come to accept the season as a fall-winter transition holiday time. No religious connotation, of course, just trying to put the days into perspective as an ancient celebration of the end of the "green" days, the coming of winter, the end of the year, beginning a new one, looking forward to the next spring...a celebration of the seasons. That made it better for me. I pay no attention to the religious symbols, but I do like the old icons like wreaths, decorated trees, and colored lights. I just put any christian imagery aside, as they are irrelevant to me. And as long as family and friends gatherings are just for fun and enjoyment, I'm not bothered by that either.

 

This is the way I feel. I have four trees this year, and one is with all fresh new blue lights. I just sit and stare at it in the evening. I also like to go driving at night and look at all the decorations. I do my usual critic...wow that's beautiful, and/or Eauu that looks tacky...teehee, but it's more about making that time to spend with my family and friends. A couple friends of mine get together every year and have a couple cocktails and exchange, usually hand made gifts. It really warms my heart. Our family, since losing two key figures ( In 04 I lost my Mom, and her only brother my Uncle passed in December) have not been the same as when all of us were together. We only have three kids under 18, so it's not the gift opening until 2am listening to Bing Crosby, Buck Owens and Dolly Parton, and of course Elvis affair.

 

I do though think of those times and get the warm and fuzzies, and when I cry now it's not the painful one, but more of the happy I was so lucky one.

 

A nice batch of brew would do, but since all gods are just figments of the imagination, I'll make do communing with my favorite god - myself :)

 

Thanks for the good words, all. Wasn't really going for that, but it ain't bad. Nice thing about this board is the folks who frequent it :)

 

I think this is a good idea, and I hope all the best for you and your friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Well, so I'm looking for a job now. That's a good thing. And I think that spouse and I are going to have traveling be one of the things we spend our $$ on. And fuck, maybe next year we'll start a holiday tradition of being the fuck out of the damn country every Xmas.

 

If I could just sort of skip all the crap between T-day and New Year's, I'd be happy with that. Send everybody postcards for Xmas from whatever tropical paradise I'm staying at that year, and fuck 'em otherwise.

 

I agree with you Gwenmead.

 

I hope to have my job next week. I'd have it already, but everyone is on extended Decorated Pine Tree Holiday, and I can't sign the offer letter until the end of next week! F*CK! I wish you luck on your search!

 

"I hope I just made the baby Jesus cry." <---I love it, a classic :-)

 

Shawn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

An old school favorite punk band of mine (can probably download it on Limewire)

I first played this one Xmas of 1997, when I finally broke away from "the Navigators" (they'll navigate you right into pure bullshit!)

 

F.E.A.R. "the record" - "Fuck Christmas"

 

Don't despair,

just because it's Christmas.

Children they're,

all so gay, at Christmas.

All the children - on the street

hope they'll get something good to eat.

But for me, it's not so great-

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!

Fuck Christmas!!!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.